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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Parents, please do not discriminate, or compare, among children

    This is a true life story. The names are not mentioned, but the story continues to this day.

    A particular upper middle class family of Tiruchirapalli, had the father working in a famous Public Sector organization, well known for its HR policies. He rose through the ranks, and did so well in HR.

    He had three sons and the single daughter, who was the youngest in the family. The first two sons did not study so well, but landed in fairly good jobs. They each had two children, a son and a daughter as well. The first son ensured that the daughter got married to a professional in the USA.

    The third son, landed in a job that took him abroad and, with some luck, landed in the USA. The daughter was married to a superb professional, based in Dubai.

    The mother of the children, unfortunately, gave a huge amount of importance to the last two children, which became more pronounced after all the children got married. Even they were young, she would constantly praise the third son, as if he were a big hero. The daughter was pampered by both parents, even before marriage.

    Even when the grand children came together, the grand mother had a special praise for anything that the children of the third son and the daughter did. The hurt was telling.

    The grandchildren, never got along well among themselves. The first two sons also saw great times, like when the son of the second son studied engineering and then the MBA from the Indian School of Business, and then landed in a superb job with a fabulous salary.

    The grandmother died at eighty-four, but the wounds of discrimination remain.

    The aforesaid scenario is often repeated in many families, where the mother is the main culprit. The daughters take shelter under the father, and the mother has special preference for the boy, with disastrous consequences.

    The rat race also demands that children play the catch up game very fast. Comparing one child with another, and teasing them, or taunting them, is very dangerous. Worse, to compare a child with his/her classmate can be very damaging too.

    At times, those who are hurt, go on to become very good businessmen or professionals, since they start realizing their own strengths.

    However, parents should never discriminate among children, or do the comparison game.
  • #635555
    While the story narrated by the author might be true and possible too, what I feel that that every parent wants their children should be one step ahead than others. Given the competition the parents are very keen on children development and if they see any set back on one issue or the other, they tend to bring qualitative change by comparing with others. But that is wrong. Every child has his own talent, and the parents must concentrate on that to bring drastic change and acceptance of his talent and try to work towards that goal. Very few parents are successful in that case.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #636312
    This is a real problem in many families. Because of the difference in the treatment problems between them will grow.
    I know a family of a widowed mother and three sons. First two sons got married. Elder son is having three children and the second son was having only one child. This family is a combined family. But the second son's wife was started creating problems by sharing equally all the commodities to her child. Her child will get half and the remaining three put together will get half. This has become a problem. The three brothers got separated and the widowed mother was to stay with the unmarried third son. This is how small problems in a family will lead to separation of families. The reasons are mainly the differences between the ladies within the family and leading to big problems. That is why common families are getting reduces and nucleus families are in increasing mode.

    always confident

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