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This thread is the winner of the TOW for the week 06th to 12th May'18.
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Do people at times overuse “Sorry” and “Thanks”

    Sorry, and Thanks are two words signifying human etiquettes and their use in conversation gives a very polite feeling to the people. Miss to use any of these words when required and you may be considered rude. But do these words sometimes fall a prey to something called "over etiquettes"? By over etiquettes I mean people tend to be over polite and well mannered to the extent of sounding artificial. These people tend to use Sorry and Thanks so frequently unnecessarily. Such people may end up saying sorry or thanks even in the situations where it is not expected just to depict themselves as extremely well mannered and to create an impression.

    I think such artificial show of decency no way works and people are intelligent enough to distinguish between etiquettes and over etiquettes.
  • #636072
    The words Sorry and thanks are really over used when people want to put forth their point of view contradicting our views. These two words are mostly used by the members on the discussion table when heated exchanges are on the cards. Only yesterday I was watching the election exit polls debate on the television and these two words are widely used by the participants. But what I feel that even the enemy does harm to us and say sorry, we have the big heart to pardon him. Like wise when some one accepts our words and hospitality and say thanks, we get overwhelmed and the joy is bountiful. But over usage of these two words amounts to appeasing also.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #636103
    I think at times we use those words mechanically and by habit and not really feeling the sense and seriousness of them. When we really mean it the words will be supported by tone,body language and our general behaviour. The other person can also see and feel the difference.

  • #636147
    It all depends on the habit of a person. There are ways how we use both the words "sorry" and "thanks". Some people will say it just out of formality every time and will not actually mean it. While some people say it with great intention.
    Some people could have such over-etiquettes, but those who really feel thankful to people in even a little help will say it, or even if they commit even an acceptable mistake, they would say sorry. I believe in most of the cases, everyone will use them with proper intentions only.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #636226
    We are hardily related with each other with etiquettes but to a major extent its because of interest & fear. It's nothing like overdose but we have become habitual for few of the things & these two words are main from the English dictionary. Sometimes & often when we find someone else rude then still we are with them. So why this so?

    We are going through accounting or daily transactions based on profit & losses. So in whatever way we are bound to take care of each other Or we are too mean to decide on the etiquettes of others.

    Concluding the fact that we are less social & more professional in our approaches & etiquettes has less meaning here. So stop thinking too much as others is keep looking at you in order to find out how beneficial we could be instead of how good we are.

  • #636638
    These two words are used very frequently by many people and sometimes we will annoy with the unnecessary usage of these words. If it is really felt and used then it will be very nice. But when we notice that the other people are doing it more mechanically we feel a lot. yesterday I was asked to do a favour to one of relative and I have somehow managed to do it. Once the work is completed, I have conveyed the message to him and he reluctantly talking to somebody just had a look at me and said thanks and started talking to the other person even forgetting my presence there. These gestures are really unwanted and unsolicited. It is better not to use these words if you are not really mean them.
    always confident

  • #636678
    I don't think it's about etiquette in India. In general, based on the pecking order of hierarchy, the people at the lower levels want to say sorry and thanks more often, the people at the higher levels want to hear sorry and thanks more often.
    Saying sorry and thanks profusely keeps the students in the good books of the teachers, staff in the books of the boss. Similarly, a person in power or authority has a soft corner for people who tell them, sorry sir, thank you, sir, thanks a lot sir.
    In true conversational language, we use these appropriately for the situation

  • #636681
    It is just showing courtesy to the others. Sometimes not saying these words may be taken as a rude behavior. I do not find anything wrong if some persons overdo this. There is no harm to anyone by this behavior. We can easily understand whether such sayings are a formality or genuine by the tone and touch of the hand of the person.
    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #636683
    There are some words in the English language which have deeply invaded in our day to day exclamations of etiquette. They are sorry and thanks.

    There are more such English words in other fields of our communication which have also been overused. Some examples are wow, awesome, great, yeah or ya, not necessary etc.

    The beauty of these overused words is they are not limited to a particular state in our country but widely spread throughout.

    This shows how a foreign language can influence the colloquial jargon in another country especially when the latter was under its rule.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #636695
    There is nothing wrong in using these words, as long as it does not sound artificial.

    Moreover, there are various ways of saying Thank you, and it is important to understand these.

    For instance, if we are sick in bed, and a relative not only comes calling, but also uses his influence with the doctors to arrange the best possible treatment, we should say " but for your help, all this would not have been possible". It is also wise to repeat this in another way, even congratulating the person for his resourcefulness. For instance, it may later be known that the Chief Doctor has a son, who is a student in the school in which our relative is a teacher. We could say, " it is nice to know that the Chief Doctor's son is your student?" and leave it at that. It is quite likely that our relative would say" yes, he is a very bright student'. This is exactly how the conversation goes on to strike positive notes at every step. The Thank you is part of the whole conversation but we are not overdoing it at all.

    Similarly, when we use the word "Sorry", if we really mean it, and follow it up by doing something good the next time to the same person, (where we have long relationships with the other person, and his not a stranger with a one-off experience), the meaning of the word sorry would register in the mind of that person for a very long time to come.

    More so, if we tend to forget the entire episode, and get on to only good things. For example, some mothers say "Sorry" for the violent behavior of their son or daughter, more specifically, if the child is just five years old. They then follow it up by reprimanding the child with the help of the father, and some sane counseling. This will seal the issue, as the son or daughter would have seen their mistake in the first place.

    So, what matters is the wider context. The art of inter-personal relations is never complete without appropriate body language. People always look for honest responses. If the response is artificial and not sincere, they will easily see through the game. Such responses should never happen.

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