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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How can we motivate our youngsters to say "Engiruthaalum Vaazhga" (be very happy, wherever you are)?

    The Hindi, Tamil and Telugu films, though not necessarily in the same order, show the young hero chasing at least one beautiful girl, singing songs as if they were the two happiest souls in the world.

    Thousands of men and women, are influenced by such love. There have been a huge number of suicides too, when parents have objected to such marriages. Some castes, simply finish off the boy, more so, in Tamil Nadu.

    Yet, love affairs grow at such a huge pace. Love failures too happen far too often. The girl or the boy, when they learn that they will not get the other person for life, have gone to extreme lengths. Many girls have been murdered.

    In many cases, some counseling by elders and professionals could have turned the tide, and the lives could have been saved.

    The title of this thread is taken from a lovely song from the years gone by, from a particular Tamil movie. The hero knows he will not get his girl, and sings a lovely song starting with the title. He simply wishes the girl, all the very best in marriage and bliss, thereafter.

    How many young men (mostly men) and some women, who fail in love, and take extreme steps, can we reform? How do we go about it, and can this be done at all?

    Members may please quote real world instances of success stories. Let us make a new start in this direction.
  • #637089
    Life is a boon given to us by the God. We have to live the life happily with joy and pleasure. Many things we expect may become real or may not. That should not be taken to heart. Things will take its own course. We should put our sincere efforts for achieving our wishes. But sometimes they may not become true. By taking these failures seriously abruptly ending life is an extreme step. You have not chosen your birth. So you have no right to choose your death also.
    One should develop an attitude that whatever is happening is good for us in future. If we start things in this lines there will not be any point to worry. As told by Lord Krishna in Gita, we go on doing our own work and the result we will leave it to HIM.
    If we can mentor the people who are suffering or worrying for certain aspects in the lines mentioned above people may get diverted from the thoughts of suicide.
    I know a boy who loved a girl. Initially, the girl accepted the proposal but later are some disputes with the other family members of the boy, the marriage couldn't materialize. The boy never took it to heart. Forgot the girl and married another girl. Now the family is well off.

    always confident

  • #637155
    In fact that old song from Tamil film was the eye opener and soothing to those who lost in the love life and yet have the memories on. For the young and youth who failed in love life it is difficult to digest the fact that the lover is no more available and gone out of hand. Being weak and cannot afford to confront, he can do nothing but to surrender to the fate and compromise with the life. But if the person has truly loved her, he must see that she lives peaceful hence after and wont disturb her. Please note that as he feels, she would also have the deep feeling of departing from love and sighting before her now and then would rekindle the past memories and that would disturb her present life with other person. Nevertheless those who love, must ensure marriage at even taking risk of life , otherwise they have no right to spoil the life of others .
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #637160
    Mohan Sir, some atrocious events were reported from Andhra Pradesh some years ago. Many girls were murdered only because they did not accept the love of some useless guy.

    I guess you live in Telengana or APO. Please do tell me, have such instances come down? Is it better now?

    We do have some atrocities in Tamil Nadu, but we do not get to read what is going on in other places, as the English press does not carry the news on a regular basis. Hope the situation is far better now.

  • #637167
    In Telanagana and AP the marriages are fixed based on caste basis and that should be expressly arranged one. At the invent of high class education and social media awareness some girls are going out of way and bringing other caste boy as their choice much to chagrin of the family. Normally the Reddy community is particular about having the alliances fixed in their own cast but I know one Reddy boy from Hyderabad has eloped with a Muslim girl working in his office and thus after few months they made the parents convince the need for such alliance and since both are working in same office the issue got settled with a great difficulty with interference of elders.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #637178
    Healing the broken hearts is really a difficult thing and it takes time to come to normalcy. The young generation always goes for extreme when they fail in their love affairs.

    The young mind is affected by infatuation more than the logic and naturally in such a condition they are hurt also due to their failure.

    It requires a great skill to softly repair such cases as gradual counselling is the only way to motivate such people to come back to normal life and start the life as a fresh beginning.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #637210
    Be happy wherever you are…? An interesting thread!

  • #637224
    Relationships could have a disastrous effect on people if they take things too much on the heart. Youngsters today want to be in a relationship, without knowing the pros and cons of it.
    Love is deep, it needs trust and honesty to maintain it. If happy relationships are not able to work until marriage, couples should understand either the root cause behind it, or make efforts to get married. Committing suicide is the worse decision. People should not get influenced with what is shown in the television.
    Whatever has to happen will happen, people should take things in a practical manner.

    Do what inspires you !!

  • #637690
    We cannot expect people to tell personal/ family realted love stories. As far as the be happy wherever you are is concerned, it happens in movies regularly but not in real life.

    Such a magnamanious attitude cannot be expected from most lovers. The whole point of falling in love is to give all it takes to be successful right upto the whole 9 yards even if it means emotional or physical suffering.

    On a hypothetical note, if every lover gives up peacefully and wishes well for the opposite person, then half the problems of inter-caste marriages would cease to exist.

    One of the ways to do is like emotional blackmail of men that would they bear the sight of their lover suffering in an un-accepted love marriage proposal.

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