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    Home for the Aged, are they really giving comforts to the elders who are deprived of bonding ?

    We have seen in many cases that son and daughter being working and cannot given attention to the aged parents or in laws are forced to send their elders to the Home for the aged so that their urgent needs in daily life are taken care off. But what is the main question I am asking is that the elders are always yearning to play and cuddle with the grand children and they take pride in it. By denying such rights of the elders, how can one assure that the elders are really given their best attention and likes in the old age homes. If this question is self probed, surely elders wont be sent to old age homes at all !

    Entry to the monthly topic "Home"
  • #637523
    Sir, in the city of Coimbatore, for example, there are at least four very good homes for the Aged, and each of these homes has all the facilities that each of the inmates would have at home. Pure vegetarian food is prepared and given. The residents have a choice to make their own food.

    There is a huge amount of bonding between the residents, who come from different localities of India, are those who had settled down in Mumbai or New Delhi or even abroad. Coimbatore has a very salubrious climate and this attracts the upper middle class people in droves. Yes, the rates are quite costly, but the houses can be rented too.

    They get time to spend with their grandchildren off and on, but they prefer to stay away from their children, for the simple reason that their children are otherwise so busy, and would allow them to get things sorted out on their own. In fact, once the grandchildren reach the age of five, the utility of grand-parents goes down a lot.

  • #637527
    But without the grand parents, the grand children cannot grow as a good citizens, that is for granted.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #637566
    I agree that sending the aged parents to old age homes by their children is not a correct point. The old age home may be very good and they may be giving them very good facilities. But the feel at home will definitely miss. The old parents don't want very good food, AC rooms and luxuries. They wanted one or two smiles on the face of their children and a wish every day. They don't bother if you give them only curd rice if you can't afford a sweet. They want to take their curd rice by sitting by the side of you even though you are eating sweets. If you give a choice to them either old age home with all facilities and a normal home with all normal conditions, I am sure they will prefer to stay at home with you. So I always advise everyone not to send their old parents to old age homes. These days some attendants are coming to house and taking care of the old age people or patients against a payment. It is a better option always than sending them to old age homes.
    always confident

  • #637709
    Old age homes have become almost a reality. It was a sort of shame to talk about sending someone to an old age home.Now that hesitation has gone and there are many Senior Citizen homes coming up.
    Of course there can be some compelling reason for some. But let the old age homes not become a dumping place of the weak elders. Also let it not happen when the elders feel more happy and safe at old-age home than their own homes. God forbid.

  • #637713
    Excellent point by Rao Sir. However, after seeing the hectic corporate life of the son and daughter in law, the parents on both sides prefer to stay back in their native places or take refuge in old age homes.

    Those who a bit religiously inclined, search for these homes that are built in very traditional styles with the "Agraharam" feel of the old world Tamil Brahmins, complete with vegetarian food and servant help and what not, in towns like Kumbakonam ( a town of so many temples).

    There seems to be no ill will, and parents do come over to the metro city or urban center, as often as possible, and for as many as four months at a stretch. The grand parents are also happy and the son is quite happy that the mother also cooks for him, rather than depending on the part time cook!!!

    Well, the urge to stay with their children will always be there. However, with the huge complexities of urban and metro life, I see a huge number of parents opting out to stay elsewhere.

    It will be great if the old age homes do not grow, but I guess, this will become a new form of industry and specialization and niche marketing in the years to come!!

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