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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Are you aware of how much your spouse is earning?

    Is it a necessity to know the earnings of your spouse? Share your views.

    Looking back at our families, in the earlier days, I don't think many mothers knew how much their husbands were earning. It did not matter much, the father would give a monthly budget money to mother who would magically make it fit and stretch till the month end.

    Times have changed, earnings have increased, so has expenses, the role of mothers in the family set up has also changed. Both husband and wife need to know what comes in so that they can plan the expenses, education, and savings. There are some people who do not disclose their full incomes for various reasons.

    With the stress of modern life, the divorce rates are also increasing. Although, an unpleasant situation, the spouse needs to know what the real earnings with the view that the correct support money, child education funds etc are paid, making the life of a single parent a little easy.

    With the obvious changes in our family system and the new outlook of a modern-day couple, it is imperative that the earnings are common knowledge to both parties.
  • #637622
    There is a saying in Tamil that one should not ask the age of a women or one should not ask the earnings of the men. Yes it is the fact that in those days husband was the earner and wife is restricted to house management. On every month first the husband would give the budget amount to the wife and she shall manage the affairs and some times she would save from the money given too. But never ever a wife would ask the husband as what he is earning and how the money comes to her hand. Nevertheless, husband is more dedicated to the family and children and he used to work for long hours, shifts and earn more money for the family. In those days extra income facilities are not available. Invariably the fixed income of salary was the only source to every family. Even then some households used to save money from the budget and buy things much to the surprise of husband those days.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #637624
    The author has touched a very important aspect of our households. It is very true that there was a time when women knew nothing about the earnings or assets of her husband.

    There are even some unfortunate cases where the financial assets parked in banks, post office or private institutions were not known and remained there only due to sudden demise of the male earning member. Anyway that is an extreme case.

    Now things are changing and women are also doing job and aware of all these things.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #637625
    Generally, ladies are spendthrifts. Most women do not think about saving but only spending. They are much interested in their dresses, ornaments and make ups. This is the reason why husbands don't disclose their income and saving. And also, most of the ladies are selfish to possess. They sincerely do not disclose their income and bank balance to their husband. They always have a secret wallet which is not accessed by their husband. Men fear to open to see the ladies hand bags, whereas ladies dare to open up their husband's purse.

    @ Once I asked my good wife to give some sum to maintain my Padmini. She said,"Why should I give my own money for your Padmini?" Since then I stopped asking her for any money for me or for my Padmini.

    No life without Sun

  • #637648
    These days the pair are are planning their life together. They are more open to each other in financial matters. They sit together and decide what is the total income? How much is to spend and how much is to be saved for future needs and emergencies. Even though one of them is earning also this planning is being done jointly. As such both of them will know the other's income.
    In olden days the earner is the husband and the wife has confined herself to the kitchen and house maintenance. So those days males used to keep the incomes as a secret. Whatever is required for expenditure is only being given and the wife has to give back the account of the spendings. Days are gone. These days even a housewife is actively participating and trying to plan the things in a proper way.
    So I think definitely wife will know the income of husband and husband will know the income of the wife. There is no secret between the to in this respect.

    always confident

  • #637653
    That times have changed is a fact for all to see. However, as pointed out by the author, it does become essential for both husband and wife to discuss everything in detail, and be sure on the minute details of how much money comes in, how much gets spent, how much is saved, and so on. Once this is done, things become better.

    However, since the women are totally independent these days, it does become very essential that they are also financially independent, if, for some reasons, the marriage ends up in a divorce. There are so many reasons why this happens, but when it happens, it does bring in a lot of unhappiness. It does bring in new equations that the wife has to solve.

    Most courts do allow children to stay on with their mothers, as most courts do recognize what the children have to say. That said, it does even more important for the lady to save enough money, whenever possible, so that the lady does not suffer, after the divorce. No philosophy or preaching or advice will work. What will work, is the fat bank balance, and that can help the girl sail through the most important phases of the growth of the children, as a single parent.

    Where there is a good marriage, it is wise to devote at least forty minutes every weekend to financial planning. This will help both the husbands and wives to plan better.

  • #637659
    "husband is more dedicated to the family and children and he used to work for long hours, shifts and earn more money for the family." - utter nonsense! In earlier eras, women were not all necessarily housebound. They did take up small jobs such as in sales or working in a factory or as farm labourers or domestic helps to supplement the family income. They not only also worked for long hours but returned home to manage the cooking and other chores as well.

    "ladies are spendthrifts" - this is a very generalized statement. Do you mean to say that men don't spend in excess, beyond what they really need? See the number of expensive shirts, ties and smartphones some men have for no real reason! Don't forget that in many homes it is because of the care women take to be thrifty and save, that there is always some money to bank upon. It is often to be seen, in fact, that, rather than spend on themselves, the lady of the house will put others first. It is not for no reason that the lady of the house is known as Ghar ki Lakshmi (the goddess of wealth of the home).

    Coming to the topic of the thread - We often say that there must always be in any relationship mutual trust and understanding. On the one hand, due to costs of living increasing, it may be necessary for a couple to be knowledgeable about each other's earnings so that, as mentioned, monthly expenditures can be planned. On the other hand, why is it considered necessary that the wife should reveal all sources of her income, whether through a job or a profession or an investment, whereas it is not considered essential for the husband to reveal everything? For example, the husband may invest in property and purchase land or a house somewhere and not bother to inform his wife about it either beforehand. He may or may not inform her later. If the wife does so with her income, though, there will be a big hue and cry when it is informed or indirectly discovered, about why she "wasted" so much money and how come she had so much money in the first place - all kinds of suspicions arise & drama ensues in true filmy style.

    When people come at you with their worst, you should come at them with your best (advice given to Selena Gomez by her mother, quoted in Time magazine.)

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