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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How I sold myself to the devil!

    I completed my graduation full of hopes and ambitions.
    I had my set of principles set in stone.

    I will be honest, help the needy and will uphold work ethics.
    I truly did this with aplomb, earned the respect of people.

    I got married, led a happy life, we two became we four.
    As time passed by, happiness gave way to stress and worries.

    I had endless bills to pay, school fees, rent, car loan, home loan.
    Money in my salary account disappeared as fast as it arrived.

    One day, I had to choose between my principles and my needs
    Being a mere mortal, a selfish soul, I chose my needs.

    I skimmed money, traded favors, took bribes, embraced corruption religiously.
    As my principles and ethics eroded, my worries and troubles also dissipated.

    Then came a new problem, though I had money for everything, every month.
    I was eaten alive by guilt, the guilt that I had sided with the devil.

    I had sold my respect and honor for handfuls of money
    Being truthful, I had sadly crossed over to live happily, but in vain.

    Then on, I said a silent prayer every night. Oh God! forgive me.
    For, I too have crossed over to the dark side. I wish I hadn't!
  • #638192
    Wow what a nice rendition of a person who is surrounded by chores of life and how he succumbs to the unlawful activities for the sake of family and then repents about the wrong doings. For the middle class to cope up with daily life has become challenging as our salaries are the same but expenditures keep on increasing every month. Unable to pay the bills, some resort to earning money in short cut and through unlawful means. Though they may get success in earning , but the guilt done always bother them and slowly eat away their life otherwise destined to live for some more years.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #638204
    Mr. Natarajan,
    99 percent of the people join your path. But, like you, only very few percent do the silent prayer at night. A good thought brought out from your heart.

    No life without Sun

  • #638205
    These days many people are getting surrendered to their comforts and luxuries. They are feeling restless in the absence of these comforts and trying to get these comforts by hook or by crook. There the actual problem starts.
    The income is not sufficient. We have to think of extra income. We will try to work extra hours and earn something. But those amounts are not sufficient. So we try how to get the additional income. There we start the sideways. Once we start these methods we will have a feeling of guilt. Then we start praying the God as we believe God to forgive us for all our sins. It may be in the night before you go to bed or in the morning when you perform your pooja or when you go to the temple. Even we may go to the extent of some share to him in our sideway income. But a person who can overcome these wishes will have a peaceful sleep in the night without any worries.

    always confident

  • #638208
    This is a very thought provoking and interesting thread posted by the author. The reality of our life is well presented in first person though the author does not appear in any way connected to those devilish actions. Anyway, telling in first person gives relief to actual culprits!

    It is very very true that a fresh mind after completing education is slowly poisoned and corrupted by the existing system of bribery, nipotism, casteism, dishonest practices and other malafide intentions present in plenty in our society.

    Corruption is like an infectious disease. It spreads like forest fire. Even an honest person becomes dishonest in a society where these evils are rampantly practiced.

    Every country depicts its national character. One of my friend told that when he had visited a developed European country he was surprised to see the awareness of even children for cleanliness. From where they had learnt that? From their patents and society.

    So we are shaped by our environment and society as to what we are today. From that perspective if there are still some honest people in our country then that itself is a great thing to feel proud of that.

    I have reasons to believe that there are many good citizens, hard working employees, honest bureaucrats and progressive politicians in our country so that we are doing good progress and continuously developing. Just imagine if all of us suddenly become like that will we be not the number one country in the world?

    Knowledge is power.

  • #638212
    Sir,once you come out of it and go back to the most ethical path, the peace of mind will be back within you.

    Choose the best alternatives to meet any contingency. For example, when he could not afford the high cost of English medium in a private school my friend shifted his son to a Govt aided school. The boy topped the school and the district. He got a schlorship given by a private agency for his plus two studies did so well and walked right away into IIT. And from there the boy is now in USA working for IBM.

    Every problem has a solution. If we get to see alternatives, all the ethical alternatives, life will become beautiful. The parents were so supportive in the aforesaid case. Everything fell in place. They were deeply religious and stuck to very frugal ways to survive the tough times. Today the boy has educated his sister in USA and she is also abroad.

    Look around for all alternatives. Forget the past. Please do come back to the most ethical path. Peace of mind will be yours. Once again.

  • #638264
    A very well described passage on the state of corruption today. The author has brought home the fact that corruption has become an inseparable part of our life today and there does not seem a way to get rid of it.

    The system is engulfing everyone to go for illegal ways and make money and there are a very few people who are still resisting the pangs of this devil.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #638281
    A silent prayer and a powerful poetry has appeared out from a guilty heart.
    I love the artistic rendition. I hate abstractness in poetry and you chose to keep everything real. That is what I loved about this piece.
    I don't know if its a recollection from your part or a pigment of your fertile imagination.
    But the words have been felt and the message has been received.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #638296
    Thanks for the lovely comments. This is a fiction, keeping reality in mind.

    Hat's off to the ethically minded, morally responsible people in every profession. We all start with telling small lies as children, as we grow up some of us master the art of lying and justifying our actions that would include breaking the rules. Many a times, corruption, lies, deceit form the basis to be successful in some professions (lawyers, politicians, managers, religious leaders).

    But the common man who is neither here nor there gets entangled in the web and gets committed to doing small deviations from his principles and slowly it becomes part of his/her life.

    What I love in life is, as a child, we are taught to see life in black and white but as we grow up we realize that most things in our life fall in the grey zone between black and white. It is extremely difficult to keep things white and pure and most of us do not embrace the black and dark, so we tread between white and many shades of grey.

  • #638354
    In either of the two choices, means the materialistic & the spiritual life, we go on fulfilling our desires & in due course when the one desires gets completed we plan for another one & in this away our desires never comes to a halt. This unsatisfied life makes we measurable & pitiful. But instead of knowing all these we continue to strive for more & one day we began to feel that even after all those hard work & efficient jobs we are nothing but seemingly found to be a loser with an understanding of reaching nowhere.

    For a meaningful life there has to be the proper & balanced understanding in between the Spiritual & Materialistic world. Both are dependent upon each other & so in case one is missing then we are following the life blindly.

  • #638384
    Catchy lines of the thread create interest and the content within makes the reader happy that he/she read the content. I really like these lines and rhyming very well the way these lines showcase the guilt and dilemma of every common man of India who is hustling day and night to run in the rat race in pursuance of happiness.
    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

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