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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Expose the kids to scarcity too

    It is quite evident that present generation kids of middle-class families grow up with many comforts and luxuries at their disposal, thanks to increase in standard of living. They do not get much opportunity to witness scarcity and constrained lifestyle which is something many of us experienced when we grew up from childhood. We were not fortunate to get expensive toys from our parents, some of us even had to stay in space-constrained houses, no personal vehicles and we had to walk or travel in crowded city buses, study under oil lamps sometimes and no gadgets. In this sense, present-day kids are blessed with everything and are leading more comfortable life and I see at times still they crib.

    This availability of all facilities and resources to kids makes them take things for granted and they get a feeling that life is always green. I would not blame them as they have grown up amongst the comforts and did not get chance to witness hardships, scarcities and gloomy side of the life.

    As parents, we need to make sure that we expose our kids to scarcity, hardships, compromises and see a dark side of human life also. Making kids walk, travel in a non AC city bus, denying few luxuries etc are some things which can make kids tougher from inside to tackle any uncomfortable situations in future. Once in a while taking kids to the orphanages and poor people localities will educate them as to how the poor people live under scarcity and will make them realize that they are fortunate not to be one amongst them. This is likely to make them value their possessions and develop a feeling of satisfaction.

    So let us not unnecessarily pamper our kids and allow them to be exposed to both the sides of life.
  • #639328
    It is true. I remember my childhood days in which I have seen people even without good dress to wear. Getting a five paise coin for our expense was very difficult. My parents used to spend very carefully. My mother has tell every paise expenses to my father. Till my Intemediate I have no power in my house. I used to study with kerosene lights. I used to go to school by walk. I know how difficult it is to get money from parents. So we know the importance of money in our life. We have seen both the sides of the coin. But these days parents are having the scarcity of children. They have one or maximum two. So they struggle and see that their kids are very comfortable. But as expressed by the author parents should tune the children for facing troubles also. Sometimes it is better if they have some issues so that they will also learn how to face hardships.
    always confident

  • #639333
    We can be evident of mixed kind of lifestyle during a certain period of our living. We can observe that a child from an average income family do good in the future but on contrary the child belonging from a rich family are still not mature enough to take his decisions. This all depends upon the type of training & experience that they got from their parent & the society.

    I agree with the author that the child should be trained for everything including the scarcity. I do believe that this will make the child more compatible with the limited resources which they already own & also this will make them feel of the importance of the material when not available to them. Finally what we learn during the time we are still small, remains with us throughout our life & so if more prone to hurdles & mistakes, the better the future would become.

  • #639336
    "… fortunate not to be one amongst them….value their possessions and develop a feeling of satisfaction".

    Parents who choose to "once in a while" take their children to "orphanages and poor people localities" to make them realise how fortunate they are not to be one amongst them are horrible parents. They are selfish to the core, for their aim is to make their children "value their possessions and develop a feeling of satisfaction".

    Is this what parents should be teaching their children? Isn't this a very self-centered attitude?

    Such visits should be meant to inculcate compassion in children. Children are meant to learn to give, to share and not gloat over how fortunate they are.

    Any child who is made to witness someone else's misery with the intention of being taught, how blessed and fortunate he is, will never be a good human. He will learn to look at other's miseries and count his own blessings. He will never learn to care for the less privileged because he'd be too busy feeling secure in how fortunate he is.

    Change this attitude, please.

    Let the visit to an orphanage be a catalyst that changes your child and teaches him how to love others. Get your child involved in causes. Make your child change the world through acts of kindness.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #639346
    Nice tip from the author. Every parent is known for pampering their children beyond limit and never stop them to realise the bad effects of pampering. Children has to be exposed to scarcity, non availability and above all getting adjusted to the other one. Some children wont eat the food in other homes because, they cannot get the same type of high quality food and hence wont accept the food. But the mother should convince the child the every food is tastily made and no matter where it is prepared. And also habituate the child eat any thing and everything and that makes the nurturing more easy even by other persons.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #639373
    Good posting. Many parents do not show the scarcity to the children. We were brought up like that only.It was OK in those period as children of many were not adamant. But now children are with much expectation as well parents encouraging them by providing whatever they ask even with indebtedness. Later if they unable both parents and children got dejected. I saw some parents tactically diverting their children while demanding. Showing the scarcity polishly.

  • #639374
    I fully agree with this proposition. Today some parents have given so much facilities to their children that they take it as granted. It creates a big problem when they go out and start living independently and find that they have not learnt anything in this regard and were totally dependent on their parents. This realisation is painful.

    I think as parents we must be judicious in giving the facilities and luxuries to our children. They must understand the value of money. They must also know how difficult is it to earn. There is no harm if during holidays they join a job for a short period. That will immensely help them to understand this competitive world early in their life.

    Only parents and no one else can make them realise these things in life through strict monitoring and control.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #639375
    I do agree with the author to a large extent. However, what is needed is not giving too much of comforts at home itself. This attitude of adjusting with less, should be taught at home, to begin with. If we put off the air-conditioners after one or two hours, then the child will start adjusting to new realities. We just need to be a bit tough, but then pointing out "how lucky you are" may not jell with this present generation.

    As rightly pointed out by Juana Madam, we need to take them through all the positive emotions and feelings, but only after we make them understand their own responsibilities, help them to understand that all these nice times may not be there in the future ( for example, in IT, those who are above 45 years of age in the next ten years, may face a huge problem), when the child/children reach the age of eight or nine. Taking them to orphanages is one thing, but immersing ourselves in some useful activity and then setting an example for the children to follow, may be a wiser option. For instance, I know of some men who conduct free night classes for old people, as a serious thing. When the children see such an action, they are bound to understand larger realities of life.

  • #639429
    What is the purpose of imposing scarcity of things, when parents can afford it? Children will grow up despising the fact that they were deprived of things when their well-to-do parents could have afforded them.

    I do not think it is right to draw a comparison between the lives adults led when growing up, to today's children. Forcing hardships on children is not the way forward.

    My daughter was raised in the lap of luxury (if I may so). She never lacked anything that she wanted and had the best of everything. She travelled by car and we always had house help. Yet, when she moved into the hostel for her undergrad studies, she coped well. She learned to travel on city buses; she travelled home, sometimes in rickety State Transport buses with the cheapest fare. She preferred to wash her clothes by hand rather than giving them to the laundry. She had no air conditioning.

    When she got her first job in a different state, she began cooking her own healthy meals. Now she dishes out elaborate meals of different cuisines.

    I am the only one opposing the view of the author. It seems that everyone here underestimates their children. Why would you want to make them face scarcity? To me, it looks like parents want to prepare their kids for the worst. Instead of focusing on that why not prepare them how to overcome hardships. Teach them skills that can help them survive.

    Life isn't just black and white – there are other colours in-between. What practical purpose does turning the air-conditioning off serve? Instead teach your child methods to keep the house cool, through natural methods – make it a fun exercise, which the child willingly participates in.

    Parents look after the day to day needs of kids. Why not give the child a monthly allowance to spend on some of the extras. The child will learn to manage funds better and understand the value of money and even save. Refusing to buy the child a fancy item will not teach him value for money, or that money is hard earned.

    Discipline is not about depriving; it is about teaching how to cope even in extreme conditions. Be a parent who gets involved in the mundane stuff with their children. Wanting the child to sleep without air-conditioning is fine, but switching off the unit, just so a lesson can be taught, is going to an extreme. Instead, have a fun night – lay the mattresses on the floor in the living room, sprinkle water all around, leave the balcony and windows open for ventilation, drape damp sheets on them, so cool air passes through – be enterprising. You will bond with your child, as the family sits on the floor, laughing, joking and perhaps cribbing too. You will build beautiful memories with your child, one which he will recall fondly, as opposed to the memories he will have of you turning off the air conditioner.

    Your child wants pizza, why not get him involved in the kitchen and have him bake one with you. Children as young as eight are competing in Master Chef series. It doesn't have to be a store-bought pizza, with the right ingredients and techniques you and he can make your own. And there is the added bonus that you get to spend time with your child and your child learns basic skills.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

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