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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Don't the males need money for their marriage?

    Just now I was reading a news-item about West Bengal. The Chief Minister of the state, Mamata Banerjee, has announced 'Rupashree' scheme, where the State Government would provide financial help to girls of above eighteen years of age at the time of their marriage, provided they are from a poor economic background and their would-be partners are above twenty-one.

    I don't find anything novel about the scheme (as announced by the State Government of West Bengal). Many other State Governments already have similar schemes in different names. In every such scheme, the State Government helps the females who are going to get married.

    My question is peculiar. Why only females? Don't the males need money at the time of their marriages? Why don't the governments help them?

    Or is it an indirect acknowledgement or encouragement of dowry system prevalent in our society?
  • #639807
    Well...it is well understood that bride's family sponsers the wedding and groom's family either sponsers for the engagement or the reception. So it is only natural that Indian(West Bengal) government wants to aid women in fulfilling their marriages because they are to bear the expenses.

    Sure its a new age and we all believe in gender equality. We are ready to split that burden. But who can change the mindset of a whole generation at once? This practice is still prevalent and will be. The bride's family will be victimized throughout the history. Only the new generation with open minds can shift the conditions.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #639808
    Generally, in our country, the marriage will be conducted by the female's father in their house or in their living place. The venue expenses, meals expenses and other expenses are from the father of the female only. So in India especially in middle class and lower middles class families, there is a hesitation to have a female child. It is a wrong concept. But superstitions die hard. In the minds of the people, it was stamped that the expenses will be more for a girl child. So slowly the population of female children is coming down. Keeping this in mind all governments are trying to help the parents of a female child so that they will never hesitate to have a girl child. In this process, many such schemes are evolving. But now in the society, there is a change. Girls are demanding many things to get married to a person. They are having their own choices and many boys are trying hard to get a girl to get married. The situation has changed. Now dowry system also is coming down drastically.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #639824
    The expenses are more to the bride side family than the bride groom side family in any marriage. No doubt some extravagant expenses are planned by the grooms to which the bride side cannot take the responsibility. Moreover parting the daughter is the greatest sacrifice a parents goes through and if that is done with over burden of money spending in marriages would literally make the parents of the girl down and shattered. So helping to some extent from the state governments has become a necessary as it would serve as the sop for the votes too. But in Telangana the Kalyana Lakshmi or Shaadi Mubarak schemes are super duper hit and going.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #639827
    My simple view is that some Indian males, who don't believe in the dowry system, arrange money on their own for their own marriages. Shouldn't the state governments help such males, at least those males, who are from weak economic background?

    Why only females?

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #639894

    Partha, I fully support you in this regard. I am one of the like(not taken dowry) you have in mind. I still recall the struggle I had, to raise money for my marriage. Having raised all possible loan for the marriage of sister, when my marriage came near, I did not have even chance for a loan. As my father was also not alive then, and being eldest, I only had to find the sources. There are many expectations from close relatives we have to honour them, then there are some post marriage events of courtesy and tradition like hosting and honouring the bride's side people on a 'return treat' etc. Then the honeymoon expenses , visiting relatives in other pace etc etc.

    So I concur with thread message. Moreover when equality of gender is a big talk, why can's the laws and facilities be gender neutral?
    Jai George Orwell who said'All are equal, but some are more equal...."

  • #639897
    As I had to arrange for my marriage on my own, I understand the problem. There are so many people to sympathize with the females, but who would think about the males?
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #640002
    In this thread, I also want to discuss another relevant issue. Aren't these Government schemes indirectly encourage giving dowry at the time of a girl's marriage?
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #640026
    I think the generally accepted perception (or fact) is that a male is said to be ready to marry only when he becomes capable of taking care of a family on his own and that might be the reason why all government or NGO related schemes in this connection are always set aside for the girls. But I do agree with the author and those who hold a similar opinion that some boys/ their families also may not be in a position to raise sufficient money for his marriage and may require such financial assistance for the government/ NGOs. It is something that should be given a thought. A boy may be employed and may be earning even otherwise but marriage does require more money as a one-time affair and he may not be able to raise a large sum (as per his earning and capacity) at one go.

    Regarding the point of dowry, I don't think such schemes would encourage dowry because the amount provided would be just sufficient to conduct a marriage without many hassles and nothing more.

    'It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it'. - Aristotle.


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