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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Have you attended any traditional five day marriage?

    These days, marriages do not even last two days. Most of these are the A to Z weddings. Even some thirty years ago, I would see my uncles on either side, running around in circles, doing all the work and taking so much of personal interest. There used to be so much of fun, and a huge amount of jokes as well.

    Today, the same uncles are mere spectators. They come and go. Everything is artificial. To just say "hello" it does take time. The flights to any foreign destination or the train to their own places is planned, within four hours of the marriage.

    Have any one of you attended a five day marriage in the past decade? Would did it look like?
  • #640872
    No. There were no five-day marriages from almost last 30 years. Very rarely 5-day marriages are being celebrated. It is very difficult and a lot of planning was required for this 5-day marriage function. T family members, their close relations and friends were used to take a lot of strain and were conducting the five-day marriage. These days a marriage function will be there for maximum one day. That too in the wedding halls and catering. All the works are done by the service providers and we have to just pay the money. The guests will also come just have a look, take the food, hand over the gift and vanish.
    In my life so far I have attended only one 5 day marriage in our native place. I have applied for 5 days leave and I was in that village only for the full 5 days and enjoyed the celebrations. The organisers have to take many steps to see that the marriage function will go smoothly without any problems.

    always confident

  • #640889
    In my life at the most I have attended a three day lavish marriage function and that was held in Chennai, Tamil Nadu. But only on 30th June and 1 st July there was a marriage of my relative as the both sides were related to me and the marriage was for the two full days. On Saturday there was Vratham and Janvasam followed by reception late evening which was well attended and the food served was lavish with great menu. And the next day was the actual marriage day which started at 7 am and lasted up to 2 pm. So two days marriages are being held even today and above that it is difficult to perform and sustain the presence of relatives and friends.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #640900
    The entire traditional Bengali marriage consists of four days. Some programmes are one day before the marriage. The second day is the marriage. The third day is wife'departure for her new home and 'kal-ratri' and the fourth day is 'bou-bhat' and reception. But nowadays, not all relatives attend all the functions on four days. Marriage and reception are attended by maximum number of relatives.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #640919
    Even now those who have the time and means celebrate marriage for many days. Each event is a celebration to them. Thus the marriage celebration start even one month ahead of the actual wedding day. We get to see such things about celebrities splashed in the media.

    But the poor and lower middle class somehow restrict the public celebrations just for a day or one and half day. This is due to the limitations of finance and also the lack of people(relatives) to run around for all the work. Those who can afford a bit more give it on contract to contractors or event managers. Some others have money, but no time.

    All these have restricted marriage functions and public celebrations to a day or a little more.
    Those who have men, money and time still make the celebrations go long.The traditional functions have given way to new modern additions,that is all.

    I have not seen or participated in a marriage celebrations or functions lasting for more than one and half day.

  • #640955
    Earlier in some areas of our country especially in villages or towns 4-5 days duration marriages were held but that time there were more rituals then show off and mostly local people participated in that and even helped in all the activities.

    Today, everything is contract based and things are done away in one day at a common venue.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #640967
    We have a three days marriage celebrations. If you're fortunate and going to vow in Church, one can say that the couples are really fortunate and not all people deserves a marriage in Church. The wedding celebrations takes three to six days. On the initial day, there will be dances and people will sing a song to entertain the guest and family members.

    On the second day is the tradition reception where people from both spouse villages comes to present gifts and wish them long live happy married life.

    On the third day, the marriage vows are conducted In Church where both the couples promised each other. Which is not certain and I have less knowledge about what they vow.

    After the vow, here comes the fourth day, where both the couples aren't allowed to live in parents house. They will have to go their own home to start a family or whatever.

    The departure is the last day.

    Hackers never learns but always wins!

  • #641002
    I heard, in Bengali marriages there is a function called……..(I don't remember) in that the bride groom is giving one live big fish to the groom. Is that true? What it is called?
    What is the Kala-ratri you mentioned in your response?
    First night should be an awesome sweet night, Mr Partha K!! Why you are making it a Kala- night (black night),??!!

  • #641014
    Mr. Neeraj: Let me try to answer your queries.

    1. In Bengal, fish is a symbol of prosperity. So, bride's family send Tatva to groom's family which consists of a very big fish (not necessarily alive), sweets of different types, sarees and dhotis and other items like sindoor, conch, etc. The groom's family also send Tatva to bride's family consisting of the above items. The significance of fish is the expectation that the new bride would bring prosperity in her in-law's place.

    2. Bengal is (was) also a land of snakes. So Bengalis worship Goddess Manasa, the Goddess of Snakes. In Manasa-mangal, the story revolves around Chand Saodagar (businessman), who used to worship Goddess Chandi and refused to worship Goddess Manasa. His son, Lakhindar was biten by a snake (Kalnagini) the next night of his marriage when his newly-wed wife was asleep. Later his new wife Behula worshipped Goddess Manasa and Lakhindar got his life back. Due to this story, the bride and groom do not physically contact each other the next night after marriage. This night is called 'kar-ratri'. Fool-sojja (Suhag-rat) takes place one night after marriage after bohu-bhat function.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #641027
    As far as I remember it was of my elder sister's marriage in my home town. It was found to have provided with an emotional touch. Throughout the preparations there used to be the local songs messaging the grace of God & blessing the couples for their life. The whole village were invited for the diner & they were served the food in the plates made of leaves. The complete celebration didn't had a touch of any modernization but in a complete traditional ways. It's not possible for to elaborate with those but the current programs doesn't have the match with those.

  • #641028
    Thanks Mr Partha for the detailed explanation!
    Actually, my wife is an alumna of Jadavpur University, Calcutta. She was graduated from there. She is not Bengali. She used to tell me many many many many things about Bengali marriages, their culture, their traditions, dressing senses, food habits, fondness of sweets, their addiction to tea and cigarettes, how they enjoy in Bandh days!, even she took me to one famous coffee shop near writers buildings in Calcutta where the Communists intelligentsia used to have political discussions!!
    But she never told me about this story! So, thanks to you!
    I know only one word in Bengali, which I would like to say to all my Bengali forum friends and also other friends here, is Bhalo-Bhasha!!
    I am sorry for the little deviation from the thread subject.

  • #641029
    Mr. Neeraj: You are welcome.

    Bhalobasa: Love
    Bhalo Bhasha: Lovely Language

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #641042
    No doubt, We have the five day marriages in this era too. In five day marriages, only the very close near and dear relatives will be present. Relatives and friends will be kept away, and their presence will be requested only at the time of tying the nuptial knots preceded by the breakfast and followed by the lunch on the same day. The function on the other days will not be realised much. There won't be relatives and friends to attend the function. The function would be mainly to sit, chat, and eat at home by the close relatives.
    No life without Sun

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