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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why the young minds wont sync with their parents thoughts and expectations ?

    Parents have great expectations and performance from their children not through education but also through their own knowledge and tend to behave in such manner that before even parents wants their children to do this thing or that thing they must gauge the expectations of parents and do it before hand. And parents can only provide education and teach how to behave. But children should take over from the thoughts of the parents and should behave sensibly. Every house is confronting with this problem ?
  • #641992
    Expecting the children to do what we like may not be a correct view. But parents should expect their children to excel in the area the children like. If the child wants to be a music artist the parents should not expect them to excel in dance. If the child wants to be a doctor, the parents should not expect him to become a good Engineer. If this is followed the children should definitely do good in the field.
    Another point we, the parents, should understand is how much we can expect from our children. Comparing them with others and asking them to be the number one in all the activities is not a correct attitude. We should expect the child to work hard to his best abilities and we should provide him with all the facilities and other requirements so that he will give the maximum output. It is not correct to pressurise to a large extent so that unnecessarily the children will get stressed and tensed. That will give undue stress and strain to the children.

    always confident

  • #641999
    Parents should realise the inner potential of their wards and though they are free to offer some advice for the betterment of their future, but it should not be done to the extent that it causes irritation within the mind - frame of the child. It should be the prime responsibility of the parents to give an idea of the advantages/ disadvantages of a particular profession and beyond that the wards should be allowed to go ahead t chose their path. After all the kids on reaching the age of 16 - 18 have sufficient maturity to decide their own career. The parents can encourage their children by providing suitable inputs regarding the place and rapport of some colleges which would be benificial if they opt for the same. They must act as a supporting guide at all levels of career of their children.

  • #642002
    In many houses, the atmosphere to develop the mindset of the young ones is not there. Since childhood, it is taught to them that only a good academic result in school/college will lead them to prosperity. In many cases, parents do not spend quality time with their children which is absolutely necessary for developing their minds. This helps to gauge the potential of the young minds and nurture them accordingly. In many cases, the youths are treated as money making machines whose only concern is to perform well in studies and crack different entrance tests to stay ahead of their peers. The parents exert so much pressure on them to excel in everything that they hardly have time for natural social interaction. To the youths, society means only few of the social networking platforms.

    The parents must understand that career is not the only aspect of life and there are other things also. This unnecessary pressure irritates them at times and they behave irresponsibly in a rude manner. The parents should interact with their children on a regular basis on different aspects of life to let them understand the ground reality.


    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #642005
    Who said that parents are not ready to interact with children, but when the children are not eager to share or mingle with parents, what is use of parent expecting too much from children.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #642006
    I am not saying parents are not ready for interaction, I said parents should make it a regular habit to interact with their children. When children are not eager to share things or mingle with parents, some psychological issues might be there. It needs to be evaluated why this distance is created between the parents and children? It may be that the children are unable to fulfill the expectations of the parents that's why they are avoiding the parents, it may be because of some repressed emotion they avoid parents. All these things need to be evaluated, before coming to any conclusion.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #642007
    When the children are in the studying mode and has to live with parents for their studies purpose there is no other go for them to except move with parents and listen.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #642074
    This topic has been beaten to death. It keeps popping up on the forum, in slightly varied forms, but the flavour and essence of the threads remain the same.

    The author wonders why two entities cannot be in sync. It is because children are individuals, with a personality of their own.

    Parents can influence them but should not try and control them. Today's children are not leading cloistered lives, they are impacted by a variety of experiences. Parents, on the other hand, have big dreams and major expectations of them.

    Healthy communication is essential, for thoughts to be in sync. Communication is a two-way street, parents should not impose their views but must learn to read signs and understand their children's aspirations. They must encourage their kids by providing the stimulus for their success.

    It is easy to pass the buck and blame the children. But, I see it differently – it is parents who must take the lead. They are experienced and more mature. They have an edge too, they are the ones who mould and shape their children in the formative years. While children have a mind of their own, parents can always guide them.

    My observation is that many parents want to control – they want to decide everything for their children, even adult kids and those on the threshold of adulthood. It doesn't work that way. Their behaviour creates rifts and children distance themselves from such authoritative parents. Keep the communication open and listen.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

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