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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why it is so, ladies and gentlemen?

    Dear Members,
    During my suspended period, this good thought came to my mind. While a man is ready to marry a lady who is not employed, why does a lady hesitate to marry an unemployed man? Even a lady who is employed refuses to marry an unemployed person. Hope you all understand what I am trying to say.

    While men can marry and live with an unemployed woman, why women (including employed women) hesitates to marry and live with an unemployed man?

    While we talk about equality, why not women prefer to marry an unemployed man?

    Any good answer from you, ladies and gentlemen?
  • #642546
    Yes, a very good question. Why shouldn't an employed lady marry an unemployed man if he is ready to do household work? Although I have seen such a case only once in my life, but that is an exception. Where is gender equality here?
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #642558
    I would like to add a supplementary situation to the same topic. What will happen if the husband leaves or loses his job o employment and sits at home looking after household matters and wife earns from her job?

  • #642563
    I do not know how many ladies will agree to this proposition of a male homemaker. I hope few women members should express their views on this thread. I have heard that in many tribes, it is the women who earn and the men stay at home. I would say this is a good idea & Mr. Venkiteswaran has pointed out a case, which can happen to any family nowadays given the present job scenario.
    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #642574
    Udhyogham Purusha Lakshanam goes the oldest saying. It has been the practice and that is followed since ages that the man must work either at the field or the office or do some self business so that he brings the money required for the family to run and the wife must be helping him at the home looking after the house hold matters including rearing of the children. Now after good education provided to every girl child by the forward thinking parents, the girls are getting more empowered with good jobs of standing in the society and thus feels that a person marrying must also have the equal stature. How can a working female can accept the boy who has no job. Moreover the girl family spends huge money during the marriage with the hope that their girl would be looked after by the son in law. But not the girl would be used to looked after son in law by staying waste in the house.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #642581
    SuN
    Very good thinking.
    Wonderful ideas of' suspended' minds!
    Let our political parties in India take up or rake up this issue of inequality and amend the legislation accordingly!

    I love chocolates and ice creams!

  • #642585
    The post has been awarded extra points and CC. Which shows the kind of discussions that are appreciated on ISC. They do not infringe on the Forum Policy, no matter how bizarre.

    I have a question for our editors - do you even understand the term 'Equality'? You have allowed a serious issue to be trivialised and joined hands with the author in mocking women's demands for equality.

    Can the personal choice of individuals be questioned and labelled as inequality among the sexes? Disillusioned.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #642587
    At the early age of civilization, it was thought that men would be more useful for hard labour in fields, forests and in mountains. Women would perform such work which required less physical labour.

    India had to suffer a lot due to invasion. In those dark, old days, females were considered 'war booties'. So, every family had to make additional effort to protect female child/children from the hands of aggressors.

    Due to these factors, for marriage, the parents of girl child/children had to give dowry to the parents of grooms.

    All these factors and dowry system changed the preference and people of the countrY started preferring a male child.

    But now the situation has changed to some extent. So, if a lady gets employment, she should not hesitate to marry a good man, who, unfortunately, could not secure employment due to various reasons despite serious effort.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #642588
    These kind of threads clearly shows where we are and how far we have to go
    Thanks,
    Suresh.

  • #642590
    There are ladies who accept this. There are one two examples whom I know. The lady is employed and the male is attending the domestic works. But it appears as an odd issue. This is all due to our mindset only. These days females are also competing in all activities equally with males and in some cases, they are outdoing males. But in our society, it has become practice and we are not able to come out of that. I doubt whether a male will have that much patience to handle the household works as efficiently as a female.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #642592
    "These kind of threads clearly shows where we are and how far we have to go"------What is wrong in discussing a social phenomenon which is fast emerging? Or do some of the Members don't acknowledge the new social phenomenon or emerging social issues?
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #642594
    Whenever an alliance is sought, the first question from the bride would be - What is he? What is his salary? Where is he working? But the first question from the groom would be - What is her age? What is her complexion? What is her height? Is she good looking? Does she know about cooking? etc.

    When I first went to see a girl in Kanyakumari to marry, the girl did not see me but asked for my salary certificate to see. Without looking at the girl, I said,"Sorry, I do not wish to marry such a lady who wants to see my salary proof to marry." (I had a star look then at 24).

    No life without Sun

  • #642602
    Juana,
    Would appreciate if you answer sincerely rather than blasting the ISC editors. The thread is valid and seeks an answer to the situation explained. Really, it is a serious issue fit for discussion on equality in marriage.

    [Some words removed by Forum Editor - do not make personal comments.]

    No life without Sun

  • #642615
    I fully agree with the views expressed in #642585
    I am shocked to see the new definition given to the word Equality in this forum.

    I love chocolates and ice creams!

  • #642616
    Things are slowly changing as far the role of a wife or husband is considered in the house. It is very difficult to change the traditions and mindsets in the societies and a number of generations are spent in changing these well established notions.

    Today we are at least talking about these issues and are contemplating for the role reversals. Otherwise, this type of ideas were a taboo in the past.

    Even in the advanced societies and countries the male ego does not accept these changes. There are documented cases in the developed countries where women are the bread earner and the male simply drinks and pass his time in loitering.

    So a majority of men are yet to accept this proposition though outwardly they may appear to agree with it.

    Male ego is like dinosaurs who took 110 million years to get extincted.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #642648
    In our society, man is always considered to take the responsibility of a earning money and woman has to take care of the home. Though, with time, things have changed and even women are earning now. Still, man is the head of the family and he us supposed to feed the family members. So during marriage, people always see if the man has the capacity to earn and fulfil the needs of the woman.

    At the same time, people should not be money minded and only see for the salary and properties of the man.

  • #642652
    What a modern wife expect after the marriage are: -
    Lavish accommodation; Costly, and Lovely fashion clothings; Enough bank balance; Entertaining and hen pecked hubby; Delicious food from outside. No interference by the family members.
    What a traditional wife would expect after the marriage are: -
    Some room to accommodate; Simple clothing; Lovely MIL and DIL and SIL;. Love, affection and care from husband; Kind hearted family members and their relatives; Reasonable earning to feed and live.
    Hope I am not wrong.

    No life without Sun

  • #642653
    Why the doubt Sun #642652? Why are you hoping that you are not wrong? How can you be wrong, given the kind of appreciation you have received for your analogies? It takes great minds to come up with such views, and greater minds to recognise and appreciate the same.

    You are absolutely right. And you know what, you must keep coming up with such pearls of wisdom, for how else will we know how conniving the modern woman is, and what a simpleton the traditional woman was/is.

    I have a question though - have you done some analysis on men too or has your focus only been the behaviour of womankind? Nevertheless, your efforts are appreciated and that is what should matter. I hope more men read this and act accordingly – choosing simple traditional wives and shunning the modern, educated and liberated ones. That will be the end of realtors and restaurateurs and what have you.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #642654
    Still, man is the head of the family (#642648): Many women would seriously object to this comment. Please be careful!
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #642656
    Juana,
    Yet I need an answer from you to my query stated in my thread summary. You are dilly-dallying without any relevant answer to the subject in question.

    No life without Sun

  • #642685
    #64265219 Am I seeing the re-entry of the "wife-is-a-bonded-slave" idea creeping in here in rearranged words?

    Referring to this closed thread
    http://www.indiastudychannel.com/forum/159906-How-good-is-the-bondage-of-your-love-with-your-good-wife.aspx

  • #642698
    No, it is not a ''wife is a bonded slave'' idea. It wants to discuss a comparatively new but fast-emerging social trend when employed women don't want to marry unemployed men. We must discuss the issue threadbare.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #642699
    This thread was allowed for a fair discussion, keeping all angles in mind, but seeing that it is not being led fairly, we are forced to lock it. I have a humble submission to make though; can we have a difference of opinion in a decent manner, please? It is just a suggestion.

    This thread is being locked now to avoid further controversies.

    'It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it'. - Aristotle.

  • #642776
    It is the dream of every man, to be leisurely at home and let his wife do the earning. But how practical would that be ? I'm talking about Indian scenario ofcourse. India has become too wretched a place for women. Rapes and murders have become routine. Obviously many women work nowadays but not without facing dangers. Apart from this women have to take maternity leaves so they will compensate in terms of salary. There are tons of other ways in which women are discriminated. Women have many physical limits. And after 30s their bone density decreases. You can't expect them to run your home all alone. Women are an impressive aid. They should continue aiding men than being a replacement.
    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.


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