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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Never hurt anyone in this fashion!

    This is a true story. No names are mentioned to protect confidentiality. In a particular private sector bank, which is one of the fastest growing in the country, a very young man became very friendly with another girl, working in the same grade in the same branch. Since this friendship extended to either of them visiting the other's houses, many colleagues starting thinking that they had different ideas.

    The man made it a point to go all out to be friendly, but made it clear too, that it was a mere friendship. Over a period of one year, the girl's family started considering him a big bore and showed some signs of displeasure. The man totally cut off and merely stopped with saying hello to the girl. He got married within five months. After marriage, the man totally stopped even saying hello.

    The girl expressed her anguish. The boy said that it was their family who considered him a big bore. The man did not budge an inch. The girl became depressed. The wife of the girl, who was broadminded, stepped in, and made matters smooth. He made her husband talk a little bit with the girl.

    Was the man justified in doing what he did? Is he justified in hurting the girl in this fashion?
  • #642821
    This is the arrogance on the part of the so called man. When the girl was encouraging with his advancement, he was cooperating and when suddenly the family of the girl felt that he is hindrance and boring, they kept him aloof and that is natural reaction of any family. For that the boy need not take that serious and thus made himself a laughing stock in the eyes of girls family and also the girl. But good sense prevailed on the part of boy's wife who understood the face off and tried to mitigate the problem. These things are common and happening in the society and only broad minded think would evade such situation.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #642822
    As outsiders, we do not know every minute detail of the incident. We can only assume that such and such happened, because of such and such behaviour. We cannot relate to the problem, because we are not the ones involved. We do not know the triggers and how badly the man was snubbed by the girl's family. His reaction could not have been a result of what happened on a particular day. Things build up over a period of time, people react as a result of a series of events.

    Why could the girl, who was so hurt at being ignored that she went into depression, not stand up for him when he was being ridiculed by her family? If she valued his friendship she should have taken some measures to correct her family.

    It is too early to judge the wife's action. Let us see how things unfold, in a few years' from now. Will the wife live to regret her decision?

    Note: The thread is a little confusing in places, and needs a few corrections - "wife of the girl" and "He made her husband talk".

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #642825
    Juana Madam, sorry for the mistakes. Please read, "wife of the man"and "She made her husband talk." There is this problem of internet in my place, where it always plays hide and seek. I was so keen that my thread should go through. Anyway, thank God, I was even able to type a full article. I do not live in Chennai, but in a small little town called Sholinghur, exactly 108 kilometers from Chennai.

    Shall be more careful. Yes, the girl did the big mistake of not talking on behalf of the man, who merely wanted to be a sort of friend, philosopher and guide to the family. Am afraid, this sort of a relationship is almost history in our country. This is very rare.

  • #642843
    I feel the girl might have expressed his anguish on her family when the boy was ignored by her family. In your narration, you have never mentioned that they never exceeded their limits. You have also mentioned that it is a clear friendship only. As such there is nothing wrong with the boy. When he was considered as a bore he left going to their house. It is correct on his part. Even after marriage if he talks and continues his friendship with the girl, there may be misunderstandings. As such his behaviour is correct. The girl has not come out openly about her intentions. Even after marriage, there is nothing wrong in talking to the girl. But the person has taken a step very cautiously to avoid unnecessary rumours which are not good for the girl. The wife of the person may also misunderstand. So I think he is cautious.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #642853
    This is nothing. People practice live in relationship to get tested their fitness to be couples before their marriage. If not satisfed, they part as good friends. Let us not take this issue seriously.
    No life without Sun


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