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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why are mothers becoming so impatient?

    Forget those employed, who might be very busy. Young women, including those who are mere housewives watching all the horrible TV serials in most Indian languages, seem to be very impatient.

    Just a few days ago, I was witness to an impatient mother who beat her 30 month old daughter black and blue, since the child was crying for ice cream. This happened in full public view. At least a couple of men and another three women intervened to stop the beating. The lady rudely warned the public to keep away. Of course, the police was not informed.

    Still, the question remains: why are modern women, who would be hardly twenty eight years old or even less, so impatient? Why do they resort to this sort of capital punishment? How does one counsel them?
  • #642999
    We don't take one incident and label 'modern women' as impatient. And capital punishment is the death penalty, the incident described by you is one of corporal punishment.

    I read a lot of views on the forum, on women's behaviour. How they are behaving and how they should behave. Can we shift the focus from women and what they do in their personal space? Watching television is a personal choice. Is that leading to impatience? Probably not. Frustration due to family circumstances often are the reason for the erratic behaviour. And innocent children are often at the receiving end.

    Coming to the incident that you narrated. The bystanders should have acted, instead of being intimidated by her threats. The police should have been called, because you don't beat a child black and blue, even if you are a parent.

    And I think corporal punishment has reduced, parents do not beat their children as they used to a few decades ago. And I also think it is improper to keep hurling accusations at 'modern women'.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #643002
    There may be many reasons for this type of behaviour. As mentioned in #642999 we can't generalise the issues based on one or two instances which we have seen. The mother may be in tension because of her other requirements or activities. She might have under pressure for something else. She might have had a fight with her husband on some issue. Like that there may be many reasons.
    Either ladies or gents their behaviour at a particular moment depends on the mental condition at that moment. Again the character impatience may be there with some ladies and gents also. Similarly, there may be good ladies and gents who are having very patience.
    These days actually many parents are very fond of their children and they never punish their children and they will try to see that their children will be always happy. They go to their maximum capacity to satisfy their children.

    always confident

  • #643011
    Juana Madam, I agree with you. I did mention the word "modern women" to talk in general terms about this generation of women, irrespective of who they are. Well, seeing the horrible TV serials is what I observe in over ninety per cent of families in most places, where the woman is not employed. I have a lurking suspicion that there is some friction in most families, irrespective of the better social and economic status. Can the violence shown in the TV serials add to this is a vital question.

    Am sorry for the generalization. I do not know what happened thereafter since the woman is not known to me. However, the onlookers themselves decided not to call the police as that would lead to further complications. The evidence would be recorded. If the case if field, the onlookers have to present themselves in courts. This is one big headache that most avoid. Anyway, sorry for the phrase "modern women".

    Perhaps you would agree, life was a lot more uncomplicated when we are just five years old or less. Forty or more years is a long period indeed.

  • #643014
    For anyone(unless one is exceptional) it takes time and experience to control emotions and not to react impulsively or on small provocations. The person refereed in the thread also reacted in that way. Definitely it was not ideal. On second thinking she also would regret and may do much to compensate that with a feeling of remorse. It is only after such experiences that people get to control themselves in any situation.
    If we link transnational analysis, the parent there also behaved as a child for the moment.

    Generally, I have seen when young parents act in such a way, the near standing elderly people interfere and pacify both and smooth the situation. But the emotional and impulsive person may not understand the goodwill and may react in still worse way to them. While some very extra calm and experienced persons may persist and become successful in fire fighting, many would simply retreat.
    The world is becoming more possessive, impulsive ad less accommodating. So we can see such type of behaviour in any situation by any person.
    But on one side this happens, on another side learned and experienced people try to bring some remedies. That also we are seeing.

  • #643023
    I would like to mentioned here the word that author has used - "mere housewives" . I feel we man first should learn to respect that before pointing out at women. Doing household work, taking care of kids and husband 24/7 that too without an off day! This is called actually housewives work. We know how hardwork it is and if we men can't respect that, we are good for nothing. It is of course not a "mere" job!!

    Coming to the topic, Out of 100, 2-4 women might be like that and this can't enough to dragg entire women in this. There are man who lost control easily on wife and beat them that does not mean that all the husbands are like that. It is just few people who behave like that not all.

  • #643025
    Nowadays everybody is becoming impatient. Life has become fast. Everybody is running behind success. Nobody has time to convince others. Everybody wants to force things on others. No wonder mothers also have become impatient. This is the curse of modern age.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #643030
    It's not the case of dad or mum, most people are becoming impatient nowadays. There are few reasons for this growing impatience.

    1)People became much busier nowadays and hence many of them are unable to maintain the work-life balance. This leads to irritation, which results in impatience.

    2) The increasing anxiety and depressive state are making many people hypertensive which is leading to impatience.

    The mother in this particular issue may have some specific case, that cannot be said until watching her regular activities and talking to her. But one thing can be said about the growing intolerance among guardians of a child , that is, they need counselling before planning to have a child. Earlier there were grandparents in every family and they used to teach their daughter or son how to bring up a child, nowadays in nuclear families the parents are alone and at times find it difficult to handle the child, hence counselling them in this regard will be a good option.


    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #643033
    What I feel that this particular mother would have been financially weak and could not afford the demands made by the child and hence the frustration on her husband is being shown on the child. Normally wife has the tendency to have money control to run the house and she also makes provisions for the demands of the child to be met in future. But in this case it seems her husband may not be giving the wanted money and could not meet the child's demand. In fact no mother would beat a child and the frustration she has can be gauged by me. Moreover rearing of child is in the hands of the mother only. If she has habituated to fetch things seen on the road side to the child, surely the child would become adamant until and unless the same is made purchased. So here I would blame the mother for her failure to nurture well and father for not caring the wife with ample finance support.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #643044
    I thank each and every Member for their observations. No offence was meant anyway. Sometimes when the words are typed, the main incident is there in front of me. Other things are lost. This is one area where I need to be a lot more careful. Well, the woman did seem to be middle middle class. In this small town, the two wheeler industry has possibly one of the highest net sales in India. Every single household would have at least two vehicles. The woman also took the child to her two wheeler immediately after the incident. Not much was known as to why she behaved like that.

    These things happen more often in conservative environments. The social norms like beating of the child, is still acceptable. In meetings, the parents often support beating of the child. I guess these habits will take a long time to change in such environs. In a metro like Chennai, I have never seen this happen.

  • #643056
    There is one aspect wherein we are directly evident of the actions & there is one another aspect wherein we are noted of the actions through a round channel or so called the media. This is also to be noted that the news or the information through media might have no or less recognition in terms of originality of contents.

    I am saying so because now a days this has become a trend to manipulate the original incidence in a way that this looks attractive to the readers or to the viewers. And so I am of the opinion that in the first hand the actions & reactions must not be generalized on the basis of few of the happenings because the actual reason could be something else which perhaps went unnoticed.

  • #643092
    It is not the case with mothers, in fact, almost all the people of this generation have become impatient. We cannot categorize our mothers as impatient, and it is just not right to say like that. I do not know what had happened in that incident that you mentioned, but there could be other reasons for the anger that she showed on that video. I do not know why she was beating her child, but the problem is something else, that just cannot be counted as an impatient trait of a human.
    We come across many such videos in the WhatsApp and Facebook and social media has become a full bucket of such idiotic videos, that people in spite of resolving the matter, they come out with a video of it. They just take the camera out and shoot the things. This just does not make sense to me. In spite of capturing the show, it would be better if they could have talked to the lady in a wise manner.

    Do what inspires you !!

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