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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How to disagree diplomatically

    Do you have tips to deal with issues in a diplomatic manner even when disagreeing with others? Share your tips and advice here.

    There are so many platforms to learn at. But I chose ISC because I wanted something else. I wanted to learn diplomacy. The tightly knit rigid structure of this website is what I thought will teach me diplomacy and I was right about it. I am very informal in my ways in real life, even with elders. But coming to this site and interacting with experienced members was a fruitful experience. I got my articles rejected a multiple times, a thorough display of rigidity in rules. So these measures and experiences were what made a little bit diplomatic I guess. I think of all the things, ISC teaches diplomacy the best.

    Now that being said, not everyone learns the same. Some might still be working undiplomatically in this website. When most times this habit does'nt hurt anyone, sometimes few undiplomatical words may slip and cause chaos. These words though not aimed to hurt anyone's sentiments, their in-adept use might hurt some. Everyone has opinions.

    There are thousands of ways one can agree or disagree to other's opinions in an argument. But care must be taken that argument stays diplomatic. I can list down many tips to do so, but I won't. I wish members of ISC themselves contributed some methods here below.

    Instead I would just say this. Imagine you are standing before a mirror and telling to yourself the words you are supposed to type. If you felt hurt, don't post such words. In past few days there has been a huge number of distasteful comments and downright insults in ISC, which ultimately ruins the website's decorum. Let us all try being more diplomatic.
  • #644579
    A fantastic thread well narrated and nicely put forth by the author.

    It is very true that we have different opinions and understanding of the issues and naturally it will lead to conflicts and confrontations among us. After all we all are humans and have our own individual traits and patterns. So difference of opinion and varying point of views will always be there.

    The author has rightly said and I reiterate that confrontation and conflict are to be managed and negotiated in positive ways which some people may term as diplomatic also.

    ISC being a zero tolrance place, there is no scope for any shabby fights in our discussions and whatever is to be contented is to be done in a graceful and friendly manner.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #644587
    In the first place, when one of my postings got deleted, initially having a message that the same would be published after some required editing on ISC behalf but that post never got to the surface. Although not a positive outcome but that really made some sense to me in the later part. One really need to understand that being in Rome, you must behave like a Roman or else you might lose your ground. This is really important to understand & then behave that not all is above you & you are not above all & so in a simple understanding, diplomacy only matters when you are weak but you made to rule when have the authority & power.

  • #644590
    Many people know how to manage the issues. But some people may come out straightforward. The person who is straightforward will not worry about the feelings of the other person. Whatever he thought straight away he will convey. Many times this will hurt the feelings of the other person. So it is very essential to be very diplomatic in our words. But this will not be applicable to the bosses. When you are working in an office the big boss in the office never cares about the feelings of the subordinates. Sometimes he uses even very rough words. But the employee has to tolerate until he gets another office.
    Talking diplomatically and conveying the message of what we want to convey without hurting others is an art.
    You have gone to meet a very big man. But he was not there. Next day again you have gone there and met him. To him, you should not say that yesterday I came but you are not available. You should say that yesterday I couldn't come when you are available. That will be a sweet hearing to the recipient.

    always confident

  • #644626
    Nice words from the author on how to be diplomatic in posting replies and threads here. Well all the members active here may not have the same thinking line, and they possess varied knowledge. And in the platform like this forum, one has the free hand to express the view which either taken right or wrong. For that matter one should not sulk and never report the feeling. Those who come open with their desire and views , they are always welcomed with even good responses and suggestion. But some are having the habit of poking others through the forum post which surely irks some, and some may ignore.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #644630
    I really appreciate everyone for agreeing with me and posting tips from your side. Another observation was made by me. Some members here take disapprovals here as a hurt to their ego. If a person says,"I am way better than you", you are not supposed to retort with,"you aren't!". That is not a bit diplomatic. "Oh I thoroughly acknowledge your talent friend", a cynical comment is way more diplomatic. You are not sparking a fight here. Instead you have won a fight without even participating by showing the challenger that he cannot emotionally manipulate you. That is an absolute win.
    Why give in to temptation?

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

  • #644631
    Recently we saw how members lined up to save a hypothetical old man in this thread . I am not a person to complain usually. If I don't like something, I just move away. But this time my patience broke. This thread had a response paralleling only the GDs that are held here. With this massive response count, this thread would be an immediate beacon to any new comer, locked or open. And what do we have here. Members fighting over trivial issues.
    Are you happy defending that old man? Are you happy defending Tamil?
    The whole matter could have been intelligently handled. Instead everyone gave into temptation and this led to utter chaos.

    ABsivakumar has only posted his views. You can diplomatically disagree with him. It is no GD to beg for details and argue over. I have no complaints with the author of that thread. I only posted my discontent here because I didnt want to fuel the chaos there.

    The stronger a light shines the darker are the shadows around it.

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