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  • Category: Creative Writing

    Story: A pen that reveals the fact




    Once there lived two companion's name Tony and Timmy as they are considered in indistinguishable class since they were dwelling alongside their homes, both are to a great degree close and great companions as their folks feel they are more distant family.

    Tony is great at thinks about, legit and clever where Timmy is somewhat cunning. Timmy guardians praise lauds Tony before Timmy. Timmy feels dismal about that. Indeed, even Tony knows Timmy is the cunning as they were great companions, he overlooks that trait and permits fellowship with Timmy. Once in, the school instructor will put essay competition and request that they compose at home and convey it to class for the competition.


    As Tony composed an excellent article on Einstein and kept at his work area and went outside as Timmy has a few questions about composing the article he came to the Tony house at the time Tony was not at present in his home and Timmy went to Tony work area and saw the paper and replicated it in his book and after that went off.

    In the meantime, a stunning occurrence happened that is Tony father will get the move in somewhere else and Tony ought to go to that place as the school has another campus in that area it is not difficult for Tony to exchange the school as Tony chose not to take an interest this competition as his companion should win the competition and make him legend in front of his parents. As the competition is nearing the teacher asked Tony for what valid reason you are not giving your entrance Tony said "As I would prefer not to take an interest" as declaring the competition results announce Timmy got first prize and he went to his folks and demonstrated that memento as Timmy's parents felt extremely glad on observing that and gave them kiss on their cheeks as Tony just arrived and saw those scenes and felted exceptionally happy.

    As Tony arrives close-by Timmy demonstrates his token and compliment for the prize then he quickly took a pen from his shirt pocket and gave to Timmy. Timmy gratefully acknowledged that. Tony told it's my heart so please keep it with you and told that as his dad got a transfer and he is changing the school campus. One fine day Timmy pen(presented by Tony) all of a sudden fell and get repaired in light of the fact that it was the costliest pen he went to pen repair shop and request that the repair as the Pen service man took that repair the pen he discovered it's a camera pen and pen has saved a few recordings solicit to Timmy save the recordings from the pen then he advised to save his pen drive to saw the recordings of that.

    As he took the pen drive and place it into PC he saw every one of the recordings of that in that how Timmy stole the paper composing when Tony went out, after he composed competition composing the pen was open so it recorded when the article was stolen and there was a message from his companion saying, Timmy, that I know you stole my exposition and as the closest companion I need to give this win for you as to recollecting for long-lasting time when Timmy saw that he was surprised and left profound stunned and call to his companion with crying and said that I deceived you and I am sorry for that. Now onwards I will totally change and concentrate on studies and make guardians glad Tony felt so cheerful on expediting change his companions conduct.
  • #647514
    How is the story?
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #647517
    The fact is - I could not read it. The story is lengthy with no break at all. Would be nice if you have them in different paragraphs for the members to read and enjoy. Your good story is like dumping a mouthful of food in one go which is difficult to consume and get digested.

    @ Please do the needful. Then I may go through your pen story penned by you.

    No life without Sun

  • #647522
    I tried to understand the story, but could not manage it. If you kindly write short sentences and write the story in paragraphs, it would be helpful. I would be able to understand the meaning.

    Kindly edit it by giving proper punctuations ( comma/full stop) and breaking the story in at least three paragraphs.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #647525
    What I could understand from this long story that it is not the real pen but the pen drive what the author has been insisting and could not understand the intention of the write up.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #647532
    Ok. Now read I made it in paragraphs as your request.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #647533
    The theme is good and the end is interesting.

    Story writing is an art. It is one of the creative outlets where the writer takes the reader in a pleasant journey of events and their literary transformation.

    With practice that can be achieved. Of course grammar, punctuation, syntex and structure of sentences and paragraphs also plays an important role.

    So keep on writing. All the best.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #647534
    @UmeshThank you for reading the story as I have no time to do it well formatted sorry for that next time I will have proper paragraphs and with better punctuations.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #647540
    Bhushan,
    I read the story. Of course a good story that a camera pen revealed the fact.

    To be very frank, I found difficulty in reading the story with extraordinarily lengthy sentences without any punctuation and lot of grammar mistakes.

    @ Hope your next story will not have these defects.

    No life without Sun

  • #647543
    @Sun As there will be no Grammar mistakes as I corrected the sentences with many grammar checking and punctuation tools.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.

  • #647544
    I read the story. Good. Anything requires a start. Any long journey also will be started with a single step only. Nothing is perfect. Everything can be improved. There is no end for it. Good. You have started. Make the journey. You will become perfect. All the best to you.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #647545
    The story is based upon a fairly good theme. The ending is a little bit different but good. You go on polishing your story-writing skill, and in due course, you will be able to write excellent stories.

    Try to submit/post a story every week.

    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #647547
    Bhushan, how and why did you conceive this story? With due respect to you and all our respected members who have responded to the thread praising your creative abilities, what is it all about? How and why did you conceive this story? With due respect to you and to all our respected members who have honourably responded to the thread praising your creative abilities, for whatever reasons, I am locking this thread for now.

    [Response edited.]

    'It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it'. - Aristotle.

  • #647548
    Thank you for all reading the story I want to write a storybook for children so I am just warming up for the task. Because when I read children stories book there is nothing new in it. So before start writing a storybook I myself testing here and want to know your valuable reviews for that.
    A blunt knife or rusted knife can't be useful for anything just for the sake we call it as the knife similar to PayTM series or Sachin or Virat records.


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