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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Are we spoiling our children?

    Are children being excessively pampered by over-indulgent parents? Do children avoid keeping things in order, create a mess in the house & are generally lazy because of this?

    There are families which are financially well off and can afford all facilities to their children.

    In some of such families it is observed that the children are very demanding and do not learn any basic work in the house and even do not keep their things in order. The parents are always pampering them.

    Ultimately, it results in a lazy child who has a great resistance for doing anything. After that only the parents realize their mistake and repent.

    Sometimes I feel that we are responsible for spoiling our children? What do you think about it?
  • #647566
    I think there is a spelling mistake in the heading. You have to correct ATE as ARE. Please do the needful and correct the spelling in the heading
    always confident

  • #647568
    Oh! Thanks for pointing out. I will correct it.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #647572
    It is true in many cases. These days couples are opting for one or maximum two children only. They want them to be the front-runners in all the fields. They want them to come up without any difficulties and they don't want them to suffer. So they are bringing them up by giving all possible comforts by stretching themselves to the maximum possible extent. In this process, the children are getting pampered. The moment children wanted something, the parents will see that they will get in no time. This attitude is making the children too much demanding. They never care for anybody. They want everything at their reach. They don't even do small help in the house. They never think how their parents are arranging all the comforts and how much they are toiling for arranging these comforts. So we, the parents are only responsible for this attitude of the people. We should not take too much care. We should teach them what is good and what is bad. We should make them understand the realities of life.
    We should see that if tomorrow something happens to us, these children should not become way less and they should live in the realities of life. Then only they will become a good citizen of tomorrow.

    always confident

  • #647602
    Children should be nurtured in such a way that they must learn the basics of life and at the same time would feel free to have all things in their life , with great participation and pamper by the parents. Children are bound to learn things on their own and if the parents are not recognizing this fact then they are going to be bothered in future. Like a child must be taught to eat on his own. I have seen parents virtually coming on the road and giving food forcefully to the child by showing bus, train and cars and thus it becomes a tiresome job for the mother. Later the children would reluctant to do even small jobs.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #647615
    It is not only in upper and rich class but even in ordinary households that we are ruining the children by not properly guiding them and simply agreeing to their demands.

    Earlier parents were dealing sternly with the children but in present times the culture is totally changed. We are pampering them. We are not teaching them the basic works in our households.

    They do not have any idea about the dignity of work as well as the hardships in the actual world.

    These children will be the citizens of tomorrow and it is anybody's guess what will be the future society like.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #647620
    Parents are responsible for these type of behaviours of their children. The author has rightly pointed out that over indulgence of parents promote these behaviours among children. If you always fulfill every demand of a child then she/he will never be able to feel the absence of it and will begin to think that all these demands are among the basic rights. Now, if demands are not fulfilled than the child will create a lot of trouble which at times may become tragic.

    Nowadays, both of the parents are working and they hardly spend quality time with their children. A child upto a certain age needs utmost attention from the parents which plays a significant role for the child's well being and mental development. The working parents try to compensate their absence by fulfilling all of the child's demand excepting the main one that is love and attention. A child needs the affection of the mother the most and all other materials come second.

    The presence of a particular thing is understood in its absence. When the child becomes habituated of seeing everything present in front, then the habit of feeling the absence will not be there. These basic things are a part of habit and learnt through practice. There are different developmental phases of a child, like the oral phase, anal phase etc and every phase has a fixation attached to it. This fixation is due to over indulgence or absence.

    The case is same here. I have seen many parents that even during college days they are filling up the examination/admission forms of their children, they think it is essential part of caring, but basically this in turn makes the children too much dependent on their parents. Parents must understand that caring and indulgence both are different and a child must be given proper care so that she/he can become a wonderful human being. This over indulgence will not compensate for proper care and will make the child demanding and lazy.


    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #647663
    This is what the problem in bringing up female children that creates problem when the girl reaches her in-laws. This causes a war between MIL and DIL, FIL and DIL, SIL and SIL. Female children should be taught household works, especially cooking which is an art. However, male children will manage with the situation after their marriage.
    No life without Sun

  • #647668
    Perceptions of different parents could be different to their children. The parents who were not comfortable financially during their earlier times wants to provide their children with more resources so as to fill up the gap but during this whole the controlling can be overlooked & the children can be misgoverned leading to bad habits. But looking at the today's scenario most of the parents seems intentionally providing their children with more then enough resources to their children. This is quite evident with the fact that most of the young blood with their two wheelers is creating miseries to the pedestrians on the roads. This is not the one example but numerous such cases can be seen & evident wherein the parents have given their child the free hand. No doubt that these needs to be controlled but is missing providing little chances for improvements.

  • #647675
    Absolutely yes. Many parents do care themselves and neglect children. In one family mother have no time in mornings, father has no time to care so, they left neglected their seven year old child to feed breakfast. The child was asked to get ready by her own and most of the days she goes to school without breakfast.

  • #647738
    I will like to add that it is not that all the parents are spoiling their children. There are some who are very much disciplined and orderly in their life and their children pick up the good traits from them.

    These parents are the role model for their children. These parents teach their children many things in easy steps and make them independent soon.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #647743
    i think now a days time matters to everyone but no one is aware how time is passing by and they are missing the little small moments they could have spend with their families. The gap between parents and children are increasing and all are just busy in work but still parents must try to spend time with their children and vice versa. parents should teach them the real fact of how to lead a life of not that to run after money or job as most parents pressurize on these things. financially well or not, what matters is how a parents are guiding their kids since their childhood which affects their behavior and emotions and decisions.

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