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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why don't cousins not even talk freely to each other?

    Not so long ago, I would witness huge fun, jokes and what have you, in weddings and other social functions between cousins and their children who would jell well with children of more or less their age,

    Are we now seeing an end of this era? At weddings, social functions, and even temple functions, one gets to see not much of all that I used to see. The times are tough and people are in different places. Yet, can't even what's up messages be exchanged and a lot more of bonding put in place? One does not see it happen.

    What is really going on? Is money is the only thing that we all run after? And if yes, is that the cause for all that is not well in our families? How do we reverse the unhealthy trend, seen in many families?

    Of course, in certain pockets like the town called Pollachi near Coimbatore, I have seen the bonding superbly intact and even growing. I have even mentioned about this in one of my articles in ISC.

    But the worry remains. What can be done, really?
  • #653423
    All that depends on how you have grown up and what is the relation between the two families. My father is having two brothers. Three of them are very close. They do all works together and they decide all the matters together. This relation between them has given good relation among all the children of all the three brothers. So we meet for all the functions and we have Whatsapp groups. We will call each other.
    My mother has two Sisters. One sister is unmarried and stays with us only. The other sister also stays in the same village. They are very close and they share everything together. This has made the children of both the sisters together. So we meet for all festivals and functions. We have WhatsApp group and we are very friendly.
    But in some families I have seen cousins will never meet and their elders also don't have good relations. This is how this point varies from family to family. Generally, in rich families where there are some disputes in the sharing of wealth the problem of not having good relations will come. Otherwise where there are no properties which are to be distributed among brothers, there may not be much problems.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #653448
    I don't think it's a common trend. Family relations play a very important role during the upbringings of a child and it solely decides what would be the child's behaviour with other family members. If the family relations are very good then there should not be any problem in relations between cousins, but if it's not then there will be no free mixing among different family members. We cannot solve the problems of individual families and it's upto them to sort out their differences. I have seen a very good family bonding among many families and still everybody is in touch on a regular basis.

    A problem which is very alarming is the craze for staying active with the smart devices and it is seen everywhere even between own family members. I have seen few families where the dad, mom and child all are busy with their own gadgets and do not have time for each other. This is a trend and is visible everywhere. I am sure the author has seen this craze of smart gadgets among a vast majority and is evident even among functions/parties where many members remain busy with gadgets without paying much attention to what is happening all around. We cannot do anything for this and only when people themselves will realize, they will correct themselves.

    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #653450
    It all depends upon the nurturing of the children. Money and wealth do not matter at all when the elders maintain a loving relationship wholeheartedly. From generation to generation the relationship between the families is passed on, and each generation is responsible for continuing it further in a cordial manner.

    Thus, I feel every time it's the upper generation that is responsible for passing on the baton of love and care irrespective of financial status to the next one. The responsibility is huge, and if it is performed well only with full of love then a comparison will cease to be, and affection will engulf everyone.

    I have told my son that he is not my only son, rather he is the youngest son of mine. He knows that I love his cousins and him equally. My son came into my life later than my niece and nephews so, how can he have the copyright of my love? Until now my son has no problem with his cousins, and I hope it will never arise. It is love that weighs more than anything else to maintain a sweet relationship among the cousins.

    shampasaid

  • #653455
    It is true that the bonding with the close relations is weakened and that has been a general trend all over our society. This is a phenomenon happening due to isolation and commercialization of things everywhere.

    Another interesting thing is the love, affection and bonding which earlier the close relatives like cousins had, is now shifting to the school friends and class fellows.

    In upper class rich society many birthdays are restricted to only the friends and class fellows of the particular child and we will find no cousin or relative there. In fact these parties are generally not held in the house and are arranged in a fun place where children will have games, amusement and western foods.

    So the facades of society are going through many changes and this is one of them.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #653463
    It depends on how is your relation if you don't have a good relationship with your brother or sister then you can't expect good relations among your kids and their kids. It all depends.

    Secondly, unlike in the past today, there are more nuclear families and stay far from each other and there are cases too when they visit each other's home very rarely in such a case how can you expect that kids will know them or their kids.

    In the past people's main occupation was agriculture and they use to have lots of time so used to go to relatives home and uses to stay there for days so had good relations with each other whereas in today's fast life people hardly get an hour time to visit their own. People are busy and more after money these days and give less importance to relationships.

    Sanjeev

    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide

  • #653579
    In years before 1980 people normally attend marriages,functions without fail but with entire family. But later many people avoid attending marriages and functions or attending single, that too sparing little time. Many people do come and go without eating. These are all they think style.
    Now mobiles conquering more time of people even they are coming to functions sit alone by meddling with phone.

  • #653615
    #653579 Ramachandran yes lifestyle of people has changed a lot. In the past life was not that fast like today and people used to give importance to the relationship and used to spend more time in social gatherings. But today people think it's a waste of time. This is one of the reasons why we people dont have good relations with the people.
    Sanjeev

    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide

  • #654018
    It depends on the upbringing and the relationship between brothers and families. I saw many cousins who were inseparable and saw siblings who did not speak to each other.


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