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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Marriage functions are becoming just a get together.

    Yesterday, I had to attend a marriage function of a relative. Hundreds of invitees were sitting in the hall. The hall was just a usual hall for conducting different functions. Seats were arranged in rows, hence the invitees were seated almost in all chairs. The stage was spacious enogh to conduct the wedding function. It was the marriage function of a Brahmin Community. Accordingly, there was certain poojas and homam ceremonies.The priest and the bride were chanting mantras and conducting the homams. This the marriage function went on smoothly.
    At the same time almost about 90 percent of the audience were engaged in talking each other. Many were moving here and there and going on talking to friends and relatives
    None of them were watching the function seriously. This is not a new experience. Almost all marriages I could attend I saw this mode of marriage function. Once the function proceeds and come to a particular stage people start moving to another hall where the lunch is arranged. There they go and rush to get a seat for lunch. After the feast people start leaving the hall.
    In fact only a small group of the invitees take part in the marriage seriously. I always doubted why the people spend money to this sort of functions.
  • #654642
    These days the marriage functions are like this only. Generally in Telugu mattiage times will be late in the night or early hours before sunrise. But a reception will be arranged in the evening. All the guests will arrive around 7 or 8 PM. The pair will be sitting on the Dias. Guests will come, wish the pair and give the gift. Then they will just go for the dinner. From there they will leave. When the marriage starts only a few people will be sitting to watch the marriage function. This is the latest trend.
    I remember during my childhood days people used to stay for 2 days for the marriage. There is no reception before marriage. All the people used to spend time happily talking with each other. Especially ladies used to be very busy in changing their dresses, ornaments etc.
    These days nobody is having such spare times to spend for attending functions.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #654643
    Nowadays marriage is simply implied for a social event, individuals accumulate just to see each other for a couple of minutes and not keen on viewing the customs. Many of us simply reach there at the time of lunch or dinner and return after having it.

    Just the nearby relatives stay till the finish of the marriage. I myself do likewise. Nowadays individuals don't socialise which is wrong they should mingle with others. It's of no utilization of spending such a great amount in marriage parties it is wasteful and I am against it.

    Sanjeev

    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide

  • #654646
    This is the order of the day and as the author has rightly pointed out no one is interested in the rituals and the ceremony.

    Some of them will be chit chatting while some will be excitedly talking about the pitical scenario in the country and over and above that, as if it is not sufficient, to show their indifference, some will be busy in their smartphones on whatsapp or facebook.

    So, practically people are going there for a get together followed by dinner or lunch whatever it is.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #654716
    I agree with the author. In West Bengal also the same thing is observed and only a few people sit in the place where the actual ceremony is taking place. Here all the rituals of the marriage take place in the evening and many of the invitees have the tendency to finish the dinner first. After that, if the marriage is of a very close relative, they sit for some time to watch the ceremony otherwise leave the place.

    Any gathering of people can become a get-together where many known faces meet after a certain interval and start chatting. Nowadays, because of so many social networking platforms, most of them stay in touch with one another and only those who do not have regular contacts chat between themselves for a long time in those functions.

    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #654722
    It is very true that these functions have become more and less a get together for the people attending it.

    Moreover it also gives them an opportunity to show off the dresses and jewellery and many people are fond of this flaunting.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #654727
    I think such family functions have always been occasions to meet our relatives and friends. But I agree with the author that one should always keep in mind the main purpose behind his being there. Marriage is considered to be one of the most auspicious events in the life of a man and woman and we must respect the sentiments attached to it. We must also not forget the days of effort that has been put in by the parents of the bride and the groom in arranging that day of their dreams. So, though we may chit-chat with friends and relatives and also enjoy the sumptuous meal that will be laid, we must respect that moment when the bride and groom will be entering a new phase of their life. I cannot, though, say that one, other than close relatives, should remain part of a marriage function of some communities that last for a few hours and even for few days in some cases.
    'Any fool can know. The point is to understand."- Albert Einstein

  • #654732
    Certainly, marriage is a get together to get a male and female together for a lifetime. Marriage is an occasion for a pair to get united officially in the presence of relatives and friends. It is a happy occasion to meet the family members and dine together. All the invitees will carry a gift or cash in envelopes. While handing it over to them, they bless the couple and pose for a photograph. It is necessary for the host couple to provide a good feast to the invited guests. Marriage is a one time occasion in life. Therefore, it is not wrong to spend some sum to honour and please the guests with a good feast. The sum spent is received back in the form of gifts and cash.

    There are certain things I don't like in the marriage hall during the marriage ceremony. All the invitees present in the hall are given turmeric coated rice with some petals to bless the couple when the nuptial knot is tied. Only the close relatives standing close to the couple would shower it over the couple's head. All others sitting in the hall throw it from a far distance that may not reach them. Finally, the hall is filled with yellow rice and petals. People walk over the rice with utter disrespect to the food grain.

    Also, someone sponsors and distribute beautiful greeting cards printed with the photos of the couples, and staple a toffee along with. The invitees eat away the toffee and throw away the greeting card. People walk over the greeting card.

    There is nothing wrong in spending for a marriage get together, but it should be spent economically within their capacity.

  • #654752
    #654732: - The comment, " ....turmeric coated rice ....", do not apply to all marriages. It may be the custome among a certain community. In our system such a thing is not there.
    My article was just to show the wastefulness of the whole ceremony. What I feel is that the actual wedding ceremony as a ritual may be conducted at the bride's or bridegroom's residence and the party (lunch or dinner) conducted in a common hall.

    tmsankaran

  • #654763
    Yeah, I too believe that wasting money on such marriages is of no use because people come to marriages just to enjoy food, showing off their clothes etc. But today's harsh reality is that people waste food because in greed they full their plates with a lot of food items but eventually can't eat that much hence, they have to leave it as it in the plate.
    This is how lakhs of money is wasted. As most people in our country sleep without food and we people keep wasting food this way.

    Money should be saved or should be given to charity or people in need or should be invested in something important or for better use.
    This is going to become a huge problem because everyday marriages are happening and the food is getting wasted hence, we can make out how much food gets wasted each day.

  • #654770
    It is quite natural that marriage functions turn into a get-together party. It has to be so because people get to meet each other and love to enjoy the companionship. The thread has highlighted a very interesting point that marriage ceremony becomes secondary. The invitees hardly pay attention to the marriage rituals, but still, such auspicious ceremonies should not be cancelled because those who get married for them it's a one time experience. Immediate families do stay around as well as friends of the would-be couple also remain around them. The other invitees may not spend a lot of time in witnessing the marriage, but they too add a spice to the function. So, let the fun continue or else everything will lose its essence and become just a party.
    shampasaid


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