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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Teaching boys to respect girls right from the age of three

    The growing instances of physical violence has made a sitting Judge of the Madras High Court point out the fact that the massive decline in family values is responsible for the sorry state of affairs.

    Across the country, the decline in family values seems to be a big problem. We should perhaps start the moral instruction classes right from the first standard. If there is a constant discourse, men may not go astray at all.

    How we ought to get this done should be left to the teachers. Today, the negative influence of the film's is a huge problem. Men seem to be thinking that what they do is a "thrill".

    It never is. It is use of brutal force. Simultaneously training in karate and such other skills should be made compulsory for all girls. If there are some good videos of girls thrashing up boys or men black and blue, the culprits might as well be scared to some extent.

    Let us do something in this direction.
  • #656317
    When there were combined families the grandparents used to sit with the kids and teach them the morals in the form of interesting stories so that they will never forget those stories and those morals. I still remember the stories my grandfather used to tell me during my childhood. These days nuclear families are more and both the parents will go out for earning leaving the children in the caretaking homes or with servant maids. Who will teach them morals? During my high school days, there were weekly two periods for moral and craft sections. Those teachers were explaining us many important aspects of life. But these days such classes are not there.
    Not only for boys but also for all students the moral teaching is very important. As mentioned by the author it is better to start from the primary classes itself so that they will be there in their mind forever.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #656326
    It should start from the family itself and the parents should inculcate this in their children. Schools should also have these mannerism taught to the children.

    Until unless we improve the cultural values, it is very difficult to contain the physical violence against the girls.

    The unemployment, drugs and irresponsible attitude of the young generation is creating this jungle like situation in our society and we feel ashamed in telling that we are human beings.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #656329
    I think the first and foremost requirement is that the parents must have proper moral values. There are numerous families where parents are responsible for their son's misconduct and nasty action. Although it is not in the hands of human beings, I sincerely pray that every family must have a girl child. There are ladies who are involved in girl trafficking and so on. It's not the children, but their parents and guardians should be taught to respect girls at first.
    It's not that every boy who is abusive towards girls have immoral parents, but in many cases, it is so. If the adults are respectful towards females, then young ones will hopefully follow the same path. There is a moral degradation in the society which the caretakers of the society must address strongly as well as moral preaching is a must from a very tender age in school and also at home.

    shampasaid

  • #656368
    Parents should start it first and they should teach their son that they should respect girls. It's very sad that people don't do that they ignore the attitude of their son at school and from there starts the problem.
    These days its compulsory that a girl should know the self-defence techniques to protect themselves from the monsters. I have been more keen on it since the infamous Nirbhaya case in Delhi. Had she been skilled in karate she might not have met that fate.
    It's very sad the girls in our country are not safe and every time when she gets late from college we start worrying. Being a parent of a girl child I am very possessive and her frustrated if my daughter is out of the home. This is because I know she is vulnerable.

    Sanjeev

    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide

  • #656499
    I have two sisters and I remember playing, fighting and having fun with them till a particular age. I used to be quite bossy and would resort to pinching or beating them whenever they did something I did not like. But once they started growing up, the first thing my mother told me was not to touch them. She told me that we were no longer kids and that I had no right to mete out any physical punishment to them. With that, my mother indirectly conveyed to me that I had to keep a distance though they were my sisters. And that was a lesson I learned because it infused the thought in me that I need to maintain a distance from girls once they start growing up whether they are sisters, cousins, neighbors, friends or strangers.

    I am not sure how my experience would matter today because we find toddlers and grannies being abused and raped. I agree with the Hon'ble Judge that decrease in family values does have something to do with this development, but, as I have been saying before, I do feel that our society is direly in need of some psychological support. There is something drastically wrong with our psyche, irrespective of age, and that needs to be corrected. I, personally, have a feeling that the fight for gender equality too has a role in the recent developments. The victims are those who are vulnerable, though the targets are others who are not.

    'Any fool can know. The point is to understand."- Albert Einstein

  • #656504
    The author including with the rest of the members have raised a valid points & man should be given with the proper environment in order to respect woman because woman never like the man to be their friend, the woman never intend to touch or feel their male counterparts, the woman never uses abusing words for whatsoever reasons, the woman never entertains themselves when alone or in public or within their friend circle, the woman never drink or smoke, the woman never intends for the adult clips, the woman never intends to go for nude selfies or for pornography, the woman never intends for "A" grade scenes & above all the woman never wants to have the pre-marital relationships with the numbers of man for the sake of pleasure & the woman never gets indulge in the illegal relationships with other man being the case that she is already married with having children out of it etc.

    I really in need to show my favor to what the author has said referring "sitting Judge of the Madras High Court", pointing out the fact that the massive decline in family values is responsible for the sorry state of affairs.

    By the way, I don't bother for the views in case this is tried to generalized the overall concept.

  • #656505
    Ved Prakash, your response is so distasteful and it is in fact so stale and irritating. Do you believe in being an individual? You may be a drunkard but would you like it if someone opens your mouth and pour a drink? You may be gay but how would you feel if you are touched upon without your permission?

    The question of what a woman may be is not the point in consideration here because she has all the rights as an individual as a man has. But how does it give a man the right to encroach into her private domain? She may go out with men but does that mean that she has to come with you against her will? What prevents you from accepting her as a human with emotions just as you as a man have? Common, this is the attitude that needs to be changed.

    There may be bad men and bad women but don't we need to respect their privacy and individuality as well or should we be feeling powerful by putting all of them within a bracket? You may be a goon who might have murdered many but don't you weep or at least feel sad when your near one is murdered or is otherwise dead?

    Stop thinking like this. On the one hand, we claim to be developed and to be encouraging forward thoughts and on the other hand, we still remain so narrow-minded that we cannot accept the fact that brutalities against women, on whatever account and to whatever extent, need to be stopped.

    It is terribly disgusting, Mr. Ved Prakash Anand that we still have educated people like you entertaining such miserable thoughts.

    'Any fool can know. The point is to understand."- Albert Einstein

  • #656506
    I would only like to state that family values have definitely declined. And both men and women are behind this decline. We all have to introspect and take proper action for the improvement of the society.
    Beware! I question everything and everybody.

  • #656508
    #656505/Saji Ganesh, of course "It is terribly disgusting". Perhaps & if we can remember than we had a discussion on generalizing the whole concept because one politician had said something like, "they are boys & will flirt with the girls". Although this not the exact words but I went against that too. And I want you to pl. refer my last para as well. For rest I completely agree with the Partha K./#656506.

    We have developed the general concept of generalizing the whole concept. My question is about how much proportion of the total male population are indulging in such acts, not even 1% then why this termed to the whole of the section.

    The is no denying the fact that in whatever acts, the woman too are involved & therefore they too are equally responsible for the overall of image of this society.

  • #656730
    I somehow missed out the point by the author about videos showing girls thrashing up boys. Let me warn you that spreading such videos is very much likely to have a negative effect than a positive one. People who get carried away by such urges just on an instinct may have a rethinking but perverts or people with a criminal bent of mind are likely to get more provoked and the results can be disastrous wherein the weak and vulnerable may become the unexpected victims.
    'Any fool can know. The point is to understand."- Albert Einstein

  • #656794
    The trouble with our society is that our boys don't have the right 'role models', is a thought that flitted through my mind when I first read this post. At that time, I had refrained from putting my view down, but here I am, with my opinion, after reading the distasteful comments on #656504. The remarks demonstrate the outlook of our misogynistic society.

    In light of it, my belief, of the absence of the right role models, for our young boys, comes across as profound and cannot be discounted.

    Opinions are fine, but there is something gravely wrong with the mindset of people who judge women, based on their sexuality, and bring it into discussions, whenever crime against women is discussed.

    A woman's sexuality is her business, whether a woman drinks, smokes or watches porn, it's her business. An extramarital affair is no longer an offence. What a woman does, cannot be an excuse for how a man treats her. It does not give a man the sanction to assault or rape her.

    Violence against women is on the rise, there's no denying that. Earlier it was confined to domestic violence, and rapes and other sexual crimes perhaps went unreported, because there was a stigma attached.

    Courts pass judgement based on facts; judges deal with (such) issues on a daily basis and are prudent enough to see through a false case that comes up for hearing. Facts and data cannot be manufactured, and the judiciary always gives their verdict after weighing them.

    Boys at an impressionable age, watch and learn from older men. What lessons would someone who passes acerbic and derisive comments, on women, teach a young lad?

    Women falsely implicating innocent men, is another topic, for discussion. Citing random insinuations is not a solution to the problem that women face.

    It's important to see women, as individuals, with their own desires. A woman might drink, but that does not mean she can be raped. A woman might feature in an adult movie, but that doesn't give men a right over her. There is something called consent. If it's not consensual it is rape.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino

  • #656800
    I am not surprised of the fact that my comments seemed distasteful to few but if the members could let me know about anything which I have mentioned but practically never true & in that case I am ready to apologize but in case each of the aspects are found to be true than why so objectionable? There is one common phenomenon being the case in every era that only the weaker sections of the society are prone to exploitations & this is irrespective of the type of sex we belong to than why to create a general misconception & going against to one sex or the section of society.

    If we talk of the scenario wherein a woman being the MD of the company is being sexually exploited by some junior male working employee of the same company. This is never possible but are we able to understand this simple theory.

  • #656807
    Parents have a great role to play to teach the boys about how to behave with girls. Mr Saji Ganesh in his reply # 656499 has nicely pointed out how his mother taught him to behave with the girls after his sisters started growing up.

    A child spends more time at the home and learns a lot from the environment there. Schools also have a role and the role of education is not only to score marks and pass the exams, rather it is to take the best out of the kids and help them to progress in every sphere of life. The world is a place where we all co-exist and therefore we must teach the kids the best ways to lead a harmonious life. As pointed out by Ms Juana, the mindset of a large section of people in the society need to change which is an uphill task.

    I think social scientists and counsellors have a very important role to cure the ills of the peoples' minds and then only we can think of a society free of violence against women. The comments of Mr Ved Prakash Anand is really undesirable and I am still unable to understand what he tried to convey with those replies.

    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #656808
    #656807/Sankalan Bhattacharya, "There is one common phenomenon being the case in every era that only the weaker sections of the society are prone to exploitations & this is irrespective of the type of sex we belong to than why to create a general misconception & going against to one sex or the section of society. " (#656800)

  • #656828
    Ved,

    I see no context between the issue raised in this thread and your response. Let's give you the benefit of doubt and assume that your comments have some merit. Can you explain the connection, please?

    How is any of what you stated relevant to this thread? How will any of it affect the way young boys are raised?

    It is a shame you chose this line of defence to make your point. Perhaps you aren't perturbed by the stories of the many Nirbhayas, the girls from Deoria or Asifa Bano. Those horror stories played out because the men involved, perhaps, never saw women being respected. They were never taught to be in control of their libido. They were never taught to seek consent.

    You state, "…why to create a general misconception & going against to one sex or the section of society." It's because people do not hear of women raping, sodomising, groping, molesting and trafficking men or doing other dreadful things to them.

    You mention that "…weaker sections of the society are prone to exploitations…" Should not we then, take it upon ourselves, to make the environment safe for them? This is what the author had in mind, is what I inferred.

    Given that you have posted another thread, in retaliation to the opinions posted here, it appears that the issue of heinous crimes against women does not warrant concern nor serious enough to ameliorate matters.

    "A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak." -Michael Garrett Marino


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