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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Expected etiquette from guests attending marriages/functions

    Recently I attended a function organized by a family friend. I felt so bad on seeing some guests hurrying themselves to move out as they were very busy with their schedules. One couple, without could be seen taking leave of the host without even taking breakfast. Another set was busy on their phones telling their daughters that they would be starting soon. It could be observed that many are not taking breakfast and very minimum persons were staying back for lunch.

    Nobody was thinking the about the difficult position of the hosts as they would have planned for breakfast, lunch etc and also arranged for other services for the persons invited. Because of such persons, the wastage of food etc would be more and it would also leave the hosts feeling bad.

    So, my humble request to those who are very busy and do not have time to spare is that they should either intimate their inability to attend personally or must send a letter in advance to the inviter.

    {Note- Edited}
  • #656706
    These days people are not having sufficient time to present in the functions also completely. Just attending the function as a formality. Many people come, wish the couple, offer the gift, have the food and leave. They may stay maximum an hour only.
    During my childhood days attending a marriage function required minimum two days. But these days nobody will spend more than 2 or 3 hours. Only very close relatives and friends will spend a little time more than one hour..
    Generally the marriage timings will be in the nights. So many people come early and leave. We will not find many people at the time of marriage.
    Knowing the tendency of the people the organisers should be careful in making arrangements. They should not think that all the invitees will attend. It is better to be conservative in deciding the attendance. We can tell the caterer that they should arrange 20% extra food with in a short notice and order for about 60 % to 75% of invitees only.

    always confident

  • #656709
    A total change has to be brought in the social functions, which are getting organised these days. Marriages are such functions. Here the concerned party finds it difficult to decide the persons who are to be invited. Being a social being the person's connections will be so large. Naturally, he/she finds it difficult to select the persons to be invited. Hence the number of invitees get more and more. Then these invitees just oblige by visiting the venue and saying hello, and leave the venue without taking food. So, what I feel is that everybody should restrict the number of invitees. Just invite the inevitable persons and relatives.
    We notice in marriage functions, immediately after the ceremony of marriages is over the invitees rush to the dining room, irrespective of old or young, men or women. Within a short time the seats will be filled and they close the door. Others wait outside till the doors are opened. Once the feast is taken immediately rush to catch the vehicle, of course, without forgetting to criticise the items of the feast.
    Anyway, it is time to think about some alternate means to replace these wastage of time and money.


  • #656716
    It is true that people are busy with their schedules and do not have sufficient time to stay during a function. In that case it is their duty to inform the host beforehand that they will not be attending the function and if attending then will stay for a little time and will be going away after giving the blessings to the married couple or whatever depending upon the type of the celebration.

    This basic courtesy is sufficient for the host to arrange the food etc for the limited persons. In our society we do not have such courtesy and discipline and till the last moment we feel that we will be going there and stay for some time but will never make it in time and then there is only disorder and chaos.

    We do not respond to the invitation also whether we will be attending or not. So the host is always in confusion and it leads to wastage and unnecessary arrangements.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #656718
    A good point mentioned in the thread by the author. We all have a prior idea about the occasion and are aware of the arrangements. It is understood from our activities that we are not disciplined enough, but when we face the same thing we complain. When we are going to attend a wedding ceremony, we show our hurry to the hosts and leave the place just after maintaining the general routine of presenting the gift, wishing the couple and have dinner as early as possible.

    There are a few who do not take any food and leave the venue after staying there for a while. Though it is not expected that everybody will behave in the same way, we need to maintain our courtesy by informing the hosts about our availability on the day of the function. If this can be done, the hosts will be able to arrange the dinner and other amenities keeping in mind the attendance of the guests.

    Generally, I have seen that if somebody goes to a very experienced caterer and tell him the number of invitees in the function the caterer will prepare the food keeping in mind how many of the guests may not come to the function. Though this can go wrong at times.


    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #656724
    It is true that we do not have the basic manners and courtesy in this respect. Whenever we get an invitation then there is a phone number written in a corner below RSVP which is a French abbreviation and means that 'you please respond to this' but unfortunately in our culture we are missing that important response.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #656739
    We can't help with the changes in the schedule of the guests but rather it would be good to look out for the possible alternatives in order to stop or control of the wastages of either resources including food. To my personal experiences, we had booked extra rooms so as to keep the proper stay arrangements in case of arrival of unexpected guests but that arrival was comparatively lesser than expected. On the other hand we had some wastages too as many of the food commodities were left in their bags which we came to know after the ceremonies were done. There is a once in a life time ceremonies & it wouldn't be good to carry on with finding blames with the guests & their behaviors but instead rejoice it completely.

    Or else we can arrange the celebrations in some hotel in order to avoid undue miseries.

  • #656761
    In this busy world, we should accept it and adjust with it. We should feel it as a duty to invite all our good relatives and friends for the function, and should not worry about their presence or absence. We should be calculative and should be able to guess the number of guests who would be present for the function. We should not fail in our arrangements for accommodation and food. Any excess food will not go waste as we can offer it to the old age homes and orphanages.
    No life without Sun

  • #656774
    Yes, it has become a trend these days people usually because of their busy schedule just show their presence in a gathering and go. This is very sad situation as they don't bother about the wastage of money and food which the host may be having due to them.

    I myself have done it at many functions due to my busy schedule. It's not possible for a person to inform to host that they will not take breakfast/lunch/dinner as sometimes there is some sudden work that we have to move out of the gathering.


    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide

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