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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Having one child makes you a parent, having two makes you a referee

    Earlier, people had a number of children but now a days one or two children is very common and becoming a norm in the families.

    In those families where only one child is there, it gets the full attention of the parents and also attached to them much. In other families where there are two or more the situation is different. They play themselves and most of the times fight and come to the parents for resolution.

    Now and then, they will have differences and like their parents to intervene. Parents are supposed to resolve. It requires patience to cope up with the children in that situation and parents also feel that a lot of time is wasted in that.

    Have you encountered such situations? How you deal with that?
  • #658030
    It is true. Always there will be a fight between the two kids and there will be a comparison between the two. Parents have to spend a lot of time making both of them happy. Earlier days during our childhood the children are more in the house. There were groups among themselves and they used to fight each other. Parents are busy in their work. After some time they used to come and shout on all. But these days the situation is different. Either one child or two children in the house. If it is only one child there is no issue. But if it is two the problems start. Parents are to be very careful and try to solve their problems so that no one will feel that they are ignored.
    always confident

  • #658073
    Why do you say referee, why not a coordinator. Let us give birth to children like Panch Pandavas who excelled in their cooperation, obedience and respect to parents and other elders. We must tell the stories of Panch Pandavas to our children. So, we need not be a referee.
    No life without Sun

  • #658075
    Whenever there is a dispute or fight between the children the parents have to resolve it in their own ways. Children look upon their parents as someone who can solve all their problems small or big.

    For parents there is no differentiation between their offsprings. They treat them alike and wish that they should always remain happy and friendly in their life.

    Sometimes if the children fight fiercely, parents have to stop it as mediators and handle it with care so that the children again start their cordial and happy coexistence.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #658081
    Yes, it happens with us all the time as I have twin kids and most of the time they fight and we have to resolve their issues. Most of the time I favour my daughter because of which my son gets angry and cries. This is because my daughter is sincere and in most cases, she has no fault and gets the benefit. But really its more difficult when you have two kids of the same age. May the case would have been different if they had some age difference.

    But thats not true in every case as I remember were four brothers and we never use to fight and have never troubled our parents like our kids do.


    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide

  • #658084
    True. I too have two kids. As author mentioned, I do referee job most of the times. Before the birth of my second kid, I happened to spend more time in engaging my first kid. He too demands for it and I also thought nothing wrong in his demand. At times I felt, I have no time for myself. After the birth of the second kid, it was too difficult for me in initial days to take care of my second kid without hurting the lonely feelings of my first one. I don't want to feed for his jealousy by pampering my little one. So, again I spent most of my time with my first one only. Because, I believed, the little one will not understand all these emotions.

    After a year, when the little one started to walk, she went behind her brother all the time, snatching his toys, scribbling on his papers, wetting his bed and so many naughty things, then I started my advocate job of arguing in favor of one kid to the other. Here I need to be the advocate of both the parties.

    Now, my elder kid is 4 years old and second kid is 2 years old, they started to play by themselves. Now it is a most pleasurable thing in my life to see them playing together. It is too much fun to listen to their conversation, especially when the elder one clears the doubts of little one, guiding her what is good, what is bad, instructing her on what will make us angry etc. These are all when they are in good mood.

    These are vice versa, when any one of them is cranky or having difference of opinion or when they both wanted to have same toy. Oh my God, I still wonder, how could they find a minute differences in similar toys. They will find the differences and will fight for one toy again. Thus the story of how did I became a Referee.

    Sri Vetri
    Spread Positivism

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