True. I too have two kids. As author mentioned, I do referee job most of the times. Before the birth of my second kid, I happened to spend more time in engaging my first kid. He too demands for it and I also thought nothing wrong in his demand. At times I felt, I have no time for myself. After the birth of the second kid, it was too difficult for me in initial days to take care of my second kid without hurting the lonely feelings of my first one. I don't want to feed for his jealousy by pampering my little one. So, again I spent most of my time with my first one only. Because, I believed, the little one will not understand all these emotions.
After a year, when the little one started to walk, she went behind her brother all the time, snatching his toys, scribbling on his papers, wetting his bed and so many naughty things, then I started my advocate job of arguing in favor of one kid to the other. Here I need to be the advocate of both the parties.
Now, my elder kid is 4 years old and second kid is 2 years old, they started to play by themselves. Now it is a most pleasurable thing in my life to see them playing together. It is too much fun to listen to their conversation, especially when the elder one clears the doubts of little one, guiding her what is good, what is bad, instructing her on what will make us angry etc. These are all when they are in good mood.
These are vice versa, when any one of them is cranky or having difference of opinion or when they both wanted to have same toy. Oh my God, I still wonder, how could they find a minute differences in similar toys. They will find the differences and will fight for one toy again. Thus the story of how did I became a Referee.