You must Sign In to post a response.
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Be very careful in wedding alliances

    Those who still believe in going through the elaborate process of matching of horoscopes is very common when it comes to marriages in India. One understands that in most of India, this is a big practice. In most of South India, it is a norm.

    However, in spite of all best efforts and the best of astrologers used, there is an increasingly shocking number of things that are going wrong. Here is one recent example. In a wealthy Tamil Brahmin family, a girl's parents went through the elaborate process of matching of horoscopes.

    The boy seemed to be working in Singapore. The parents of the boy did all the smooth talking. The engagement function went on in grand style. A few hours after the engagement function, the boy sent a whats up message to the parents of the girl and the girl herself and did a vanishing trick. The message said, "sorry, this cannot work out".

    The boy's parents put on a brave face and threatened the girl's family that they would file a case in court that their son was not treated well and that was the reason for his strange behavior.

    The parents of the girl lodged a police complaint and a few days later, he was traced to a bar in Bangalore. Whether he was arrested is still not clear. However, enough damage has been done. The girl's parents went on searching to check the bonafide's of the boy's employment in Singapore and drew a blank. They were not sure whether he was really employed there at all.

    Members, kindly inform this real-world true experience to anyone seeking alliances for their sons or daughters. An elaborate process of inquiry needs to be put in place. In fact, security agencies charge some Rs.80,000 but do an excellent job. Wealthy parents could as well spend this amount to be sure where they are heading to.
  • #658062
    It seems people have to take the help of private investigators before fixing the marriages. As long as these weird traditions continue, more craziest things will come out. I hope the parents of the girl's family will now go to an international astrologer to find the 'perfect' son-in-law. When the national astrologers failed, international astrologers can be of some help.

    I would like to ask the author, is this the first case reported where the prediction of the astrologers went wrong? If yes, then I thank the author very much for warning us. But, if this is rampant then why so many parents are still inclined to this horoscope matching?

    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #658068
    To ensure any foreign brides true identity, never hesitate to look at his passport, the Visa entries, the salary certificates from the employer etc. Many parents of the brides don't ensure this, but wonder the salary of the Foreign Mappillai. It is easy to bribe the astrologers to match it perfectly. Never ever trust the astrologers fully. We have only half-baked astrologers these days.
    No life without Sun

  • #658070
    .Mr Sankalan Bhattacharya, please do note that this is not the first time that such things have happened. This has been presented by me, as the boy has simply vanished even without informing his own parents. Please do note that this job of horoscope matching is still religiously done. Whether it is right or wrong is a very debatable point.

    Also note that almost 90% of the cases where the horoscopes have matched, do work out well. There are exceptions to the rule, though. It is not followed by many families who find out that the wavelength is fine.

    This incident is just a warning. Of course, it is not applicable to those who do not believe in astrologers at all. Please do also note that hundreds of inter-caste marriages and inter-religion marriages are now happening. All these are love marriages. Society does take a long time to evolve.

    As regards your jibe that the family needs an international astrologer, well, let us simply laugh at it. However, the pain that the girl's parents are now undergoing is not going to die down so soon.

  • #658072
    Although I don't believe in horoscope matching, I have seen that if a boy is liked by a girl's family, the family members themselves pressurize the astrologer to find some ways to declare the horoscopes compatible. Further, in many cases, if the prospective groom is an NRI, then nobody bothers to match the horoscope.
    Come on, have a fight. Don't shoot and scoot.

  • #658076
    I think people should be very cautious on this front and must get first hand information about the other party. Marriage is a life time commitment and only after ascertaining the credentials one should go ahead.

    Earlier when marriages were done in one's own area and relationships then it was an easy job to find out about the other party but now due to the cosmopolitan culture setting in it is very difficult to check the whereabouts.

    Precaution is better than cure and we must take all preventive measures in this respect.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #658079
    Marriage is lifetime affair so only matching horoscope is not sufficient. One should verify everything about a girl and the boy and especially when a boy claims that he works overseas. I have read many cases when an NRI boy marries a girl in India and spend a few days with her and never comes back to see his wife. It's not that every NRI boy is wealthy sometimes they are cheating and marry just for the lust of money. Therefore we must be very careful while matchmaking.

    This is a very sad incident. What special treatment this boy wanted?. And it was good that he didn't marry. Who knows what would have happened with the girl if the marriage took place.

    Sanjeev

    " It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not" ... Andre Gide

  • #658097
    There is no point in linking this incident to horoscope matching. Horoscope matching will only tell them whether the two can understand each other. But people who make mischiefs can give you a managed horoscope also. So even before going for horoscopes also we should inquire about the nature of the boy, the background of the family and background of the boy. This is very important. It is always better to go to known families than going to a completely unknown family.
    My friend is a professor at a University. His relative's son was settled in Germany. He was staying there with his parents. He wanted to marry a girl from India. He came to India, married a girl and gone back with the girl. After staying there with them for 3 months she has come back to India without informing them and taking away all the jewellery from bank locker. Later it was found that she was having a boyfriend in India. Through him, he got the flight tickets, came back and married him. They vanished and no clue about their present status.
    A known devil is better than unknown ghost may be the correct thinking for marriage these days.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #658134
    #658070, Mr ABSivakumar, I understood from your reply that matching horoscopes is one of the rules. You can always debate the necessity of matching horoscopes, you may have numerous beliefs, but how do you feel when on one hand, one carries a smart mobile device and on the other five fingers the person wears many rings given by the astrologers?

    Are we progressing or keep on believing things rather knowing them properly? Are we taking the middle way? We are truly evolving! From the replies of many members and based on the real happenings around us, I can easily conclude that marriage is all about gaining money. So, if parents are somehow convinced that the bride or groom is rich they may go to any extent to vouch for the marriage.

    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #658135
    Wedding is not an ordinary thing that it is to be taken lightly. Some gullible people take information on its face value and then get cheated. Marriage negotiations are to be concluded with due diligence.

    There are a number of cheats and conmen roaming here and there in search of innocent people who can be cheated easily.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #658160
    Sivakumar, is it all about horoscopes? Don't we check anything else before fixing a marriage? Come on(corrected as suggested by Sun), you can't be that specific.

    I would say that this thread is nothing but an exaggeration of some single incident that you might have experienced.

    'Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance' - Confucious.

  • #658172
    The incident that is stated in this thread itself is enough to show that mere horoscope matching is not enough. Astrologers of today hardly know anything. With half knowledge and bribe that they accept from either of the parties, they are ready to match anything and everything. Let's not fix the marriages only if the horoscope is matching perfectly. Moreover, these kinds of incidents are increasing every day. If a boy is settled in a foreign country, parents of girl blindly trust everything. Whether it is a job profile or salary statement, they do not want to check it. They believe every word and try to fix the marriage as early as possible. Not only the horoscopes should be matched but try to confirm everything beforehand instead of regretting later.

  • #658186
    The incident as narrated by the writer is not an isolated example. We could come across bizarre experience where the credential of the bridegroom was not checked and the marriage negotiation was finalised on the basis of information provided by the parents of the boy. Especially, cheating appears more common with the proclamation of the parents that the boy is NRI drawing a decent income where as there could be no link of the boy being NRI and he may be a street boy having no matchable qualification as compared to would be the bridegroom. The culture of cheating has multipled with the culture of prevalence of Internet.

  • #658218
    Sai Sir I was a bit unwell and I saw your views just now. Am a neutral third party. I know just one family member on the girl s side. I was never involved in anything. So, I really do not know what has happened.

    You see, am now told that many astrologers even manipulate horoscopes to enable a match. Most people are not as foolish as the involved here. They would have checked for the credibility of the family and the boy. Even the passport number would have been enough.

    I know some families go to the extent of spending up to one lakh rupees by engaging the services of a detective agency. So, there are smart people too.

    Kindly note. I just reported what I have heard from a very reliable source on the girl s side. Apart from offering some help to mitigate this problem, I have not much of a role.

    Yes, the incident should be an eye opener for everyone. This is just a note of caution. That is all.

  • #658220
    Thanks to your post that has made me aware that one could take help from a detective agency regarding such matters. I wasn't aware that there are security agencies rendering the required services. However, the services they offer are too costly and I don't think that a middle-class family can afford such services. The ones who are financially secure can definitely take help of them to clear out all the doubts lingering in their minds.

  • #658221
    Mr Sankalan Bhattarcharya, thanks for your views. You are one hundred percent correct. The girl s parents are always taken away by the sweet talk of the parents and relatives in most cases. Possibly, everything could have been avoided if they were more careful.

    Horoscope matching still goes on and on. There is no other way. These things cannot be changed overnight. Do you know one more custom? In the seventh or eighth month of pregnancy, the girl is decorated with bangles on both arms and this happens across India, almost everywhere. This is done religiously. It is believed that the child in the womb would hear all pleasant sounds of the glass bangles and be happy.

    There are very families who do not follow this. I have no answer. I would take life as it comes. I have no business to interfere with customs that seem to be 400 years old. Of course, it is another story that I cannot.

    In cases where the girl is a professional like a doctor or a chartered accountant, these practices are rather very simple. I have seen this too.

    It is just one real incident. There are hundreds of other experiences noted down in my diary. There are woven in the appropriate places in my articles. These of course, pertain to other practises.

    I firmly believe that society evolves over a period of time. Do you know that Tamil Brahmin marriages were five day affairs some fifty years ago? Today, it is less than 34 hours. Relatives, who are mostly based in other metro cities of live abroad catch the next possible flight to go out!! Within 80 minutes after the wedding is over, the parents on either side will be the only ones to pack up!!

    This is perhaps one dimension to help you to understand the changes.

  • #658222
    Sai Sir I was a bit unwell and I saw your views just now. Am a neutral third party. I know just one family member on the girl s side. I was never involved in anything. So, I really do not know what has happened.

    You see, now told that many astrologers even manipulate horoscopes to enable a match. Most people are not as foolish as the involved here. They would have checked for the credibility of the family and the boy. Even the passport number would have been enough.

    I know some families go to the extent of spending up to one lakh rupees by engaging the services of a detective agency. So, there are smart people too.

    Kindly note. I just reported what I have heard from a very reliable source on the girl s side. Apart from offering some help to mitigate this problem, I have not much of a role.

    Yes, the incident should be an eye opener for everyone. This is just a note of caution. That is all.


  • Sign In to post your comments