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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    When it's between you and me do not take sides

    All over the world, there is a conflict. A conflict between politicians, a conflict between nations, between religions and even between family members. Now the family conflicts do not become headlines unless it's in the families of elites, the other conflicts do make headlines. All these conflicts arise because a group tries to gain supremacy over the others and apply their powers to control the others. It started since the beginning of civilization and is continuing until now. There is no point in looking for the exact reasons behind any conflict because it is hard to pinpoint the exact reason.

    The point here is the support both the parties engaged in conflict enjoys. If the conflict is only between you and me, we can sort it out. But if it's between Us Vs Them it's very difficult to contain. Both the parties engaged in a conflict have a support base. If one party is absolutely isolated, the conflict will automatically die down. Think of a quarrel between two in your office or locality and any other place. If both of them bring their groups in the conflict, it can go well beyond control. Then this quarrel will turn into a conflict between the two groups. Therefore, do not take a side when two persons are engaged in a quarrel. When you are mediating separate them. If they try to convince you about who is right, say both are wrong. Isolate them for a long time and they will be able to understand their faults. Members, do you agree to this?
  • #659285
    But there are some issues where you can't be a fence-sitter. Either you have to be on one side or on the other side. Remaining neutral can't always be an option.
    Come on, have a fight. Don't shoot and scoot.

  • #659286
    I believe in dousing the fire and not fanning the flame. It is true that sometimes one has to take a side, but I believe one should not take sides when two parties are fighting rather try to cool them. It is okay to discuss with the parties when their temper is not hot because, when someone is angry they fail to register people's advice.

    If we want to live in peace, then it is always good to speak up when there is no controversy and quarrel.


  • #659290
    As a neutral person it is our duty to resolve the conflict. Taking sides will only deteriorate the situation. Sometimes we have to handle the situation very delicately so that the involved parties have to surrender to the mediator.

    I remember one incident where a husband and wife working in the same office started fighting on some personal issue and all the people in the office stood near them viewing it. They were not bothered and were fighting as if it were their house.

    The boss came out from his room and shouted on us to call security and remove these two people from the office campus. Hearing this they forgot their differences and ran out of the office.

    So sometimes tough decisions are to be taken.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #659331
    I agree with the author that if you and one other person are only involved in the conflict, there will not be any sides. You both sit down and discuss and come to an understanding. In such a case, there will not be any problem of somebody supporting and somebody, not supporting.

    If the moment one tries to bring in others into the conflict automatically the other person will also try to bring in some supporters for him. The conflict will become between two groups. The issue will definitely become big and all the people involved will lose their time in sorting out the issue.

    I have seen some people we will try to resolve the problems between two persons and try to make some money out of it by taking a side without showing his intentions outside to the others.

    always confident

  • #659334
    What I have noticed, while people are engaged in blaming each other during a conflict they forget to look at the big picture. Forget that it's not me v/s you but it's we v/s the matter.

    Many people forget the boundaries during a conflict. Boundaries that are there to ensure that you treat the being in front of you as a human. It's not easy for humans to control their anger and urge to have their opinion recognised as superior, but one can always try.

    Isolation might be key in some cases, but in some, it works like a fuel to fire. Mostly during conflicts involving personal matters between people of close relations. Isolation generally leads to two situations one where a person realises other's worth and another where they lose care for the other one.

  • #659359
    I think that instead of taking sides it will be a better thing if we contribute in resolving the conflict.

    Taking sides is like an avalanche where each individual coming to the scene of conduct will take one side and soon a massive group conflict will emerge out of it. We should avoid it.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

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