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(This thread is the winner of the TOW contest for the week 24th Mar'- 30 Mar'19)
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Does "Tit for Tat" philosophy always work?

    "Tit for Tat" is the need for today. Nowadays you cannot expect to remain silent and not react when someone does wrong to you. If you do not follow Tit for Tat people consider you weak and take advantage. But does this philosophy always works? Can it sometimes be other way round? Can at times dealing with a situation with a calm mindset and without the feeling of revenge and anger does the trick to solve the issue? Well may happen sometimes, I feel.

    One downside of Tit for Tat policy is that it arouses egos on both sides. If someone has done wrong, then I will reciprocate the same thing back to him or her and this keeps continuing on both the sides. They keep on giving Tit for Tat to each other and each time they do their ego gets hurt more and more and their anger and frustration increases. If he can shout at me then why can't I? This is the feeling that normally prevails.

    But at times it happens that when a person does not take the things egoistically and reacts calmly on being challenged by another party it cools down the situation. This is because another person also starts realizing that if he is not reacting aggressively, then should I? Sometimes discussing the issues with anger and shouting doesn't work but in contrast calmly discussing out the issues and trying to make others understand works. Sometimes it happens that if one person shouts and other replies calmly it automatically induces the first person to calm down too.

    Have you experienced any such situations where being violent and giving Tit for Tat did not solve the problem but on the other hand being calm and composed and not reacting with anger actually solved the problem?
  • #661487
    Tit-for-tat reaction is based on the retaliatory nature of human beings and is a thing of instinct.

    It is the natural reaction on the first instance. Wise people avoid it but temperamental people have no control on this outburst and go for it.

    Tit-for -tat is like a revenge. It has an associated offence with it. Prima facie it looks like a good solution to the offending people but it has devastating effects on human relations. Prudent people will avoid tit-for-tat and go for amicable solutions.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #661512
    Tit for tat is to take our revenge. But it should not be immediately. You should take time and when the chance comes you can give the reaction. If somebody is misbehaving with you, immediately if you start behaving the same way with him, then the situation will become out of control. You can't stop there. It will become a chain reaction.
    Instead of that if you can reserve your anger and give him tit for tat at an appropriate time, he can't get easily settle. he will understand the pinch.
    If somebody starts shouting on you, don't shout immediately on him. Wait for a chance. once you find him doing bad work, you give him a slap which he can never forget. This particular way of dealing I have adopted many times and in all my such dealings I have gained the upper hand on the other person.
    So it is always tit for tat. But tat will come in right after tit.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #661520
    To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. You hit someone and someone will hit you back. Revenue policy of a person proves him or her to take revenge but this revengeful attitude may escalate the situation and turn into an ugly situation.

    So, it is better to bear the arrogance of some bad-tempered people and stop turning the situation into a bitter experience. Though a person has a right to react, a sensible person will not repeat unruly behavior and shows a maturity in dealing with the situation.

    Tit for that is not a better way to respond to an unhealthy situation. Restrain your emotion and anger, and try to deal with the difficult situation that makes us better humans in society. We can throw away tit for tat approach and adopt quality of forgiveness which is far better than a revengeful attitude.

  • #661523
    Tit for Tat is is not a good approach. The retaliatory tendency will only escalate the trouble and at the end of the day both parties will suffer. we come across many such incidences , mainly while driving. Sometimes it was not our mistake other party get in to arguments. The best remedy for this is smilingly say sorry. The other party will understand the message and clear the incidences. If we get in to arguments, we will be unnecessarily wasting our time and loosing our mental peace.
    "If you don’t understand my silence, you will not understand my words"
    Unknown

  • #661577
    I do not believe in tit for tat as it's like taking revenge from a person which is not good. If the issue is not big one should try to forgive and forget it. But sometimes it may be a major issue which we might not have thought of. In that case, a person should apply tit for tat in order to make that person realise that he has done wrong with you otherwise there are chances he or she will think you a weak person and try to create some other problems for you. It's good to forgive people but only when they vow that they won't repeat the mistake again.

    No doubt once you take revenge from the person he will again harm you and the cycle will never end and both the parties will bear the loss for the same. So it's better if we resolve the issue by mutual agreement.

    Sanjeev

    " We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    – Abraham Lincoln

  • #661635
    When you think that whatever is happening for a reason, you will not act like Tit for Tat. You will always believe in other side and keep your side aside to understand the situation of others. Tit for Tat always create long lasting problems while forgiving the things makes the situation calm and clear. You will be relieved when you forget someone who has done bad to you. Thus, Tit for Tat do not always beneficial or work. This are my views.
    Dr. Paresh B. Gujarati.
    Mechanical Engineer.
    'I'mprovement always begins with 'I'.

  • #661641
    Unless there is an ego in an individual, he will never care to lose his original nature and try to do something that another person is doing to him. In short, only in the presence of ego, people try to go for tit for tat. Somewhere inside they do know that they are doing the wrong things. However, they consider peace and silence as weak traits at those moments and thus aggressively try to take hold of situations and react in the same manner the other party is reacting in.

    There is no need to lose one's original nature and react in an aggressive manner. Tit for tat only works if the purpose behind it is to teach a lesson to others. Now, the lesson can be taught to others in a peaceful manner too. Thus, there is no reason to lose temper in any given situation.

  • #662039
    Well, when the thread is about 'Tit for Tat' philosophy I would like to quote Gandhiji who said: "An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind". I think it is the same as 'Tit for Tat' philosophy. It sounds like revenge which must be avoided if we want to coexist peacefully. We face different tough situations in our daily lives where others misbehave or try to insult us in some way. If we also reciprocate in the same way the problem may compound, therefore all of us need to be aware of the situation and act accordingly.

    There may be certain situations where if you do not act tough the situation may go absolutely out of your control. In those cases, you must act tough and when you know that your rigidity will increase the problem manifold there you have to handle it politely.

    I would say to apply this philosophy depending on the situation and never let your ego come in between when you can gauge that the situation may turn differently depending on your reactions to the situation. Be cautious and remain calm, try to judge the situation and then act.

    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #662068
    I would not reject the tit for tat theory entirely. At times one requires it but should be done in a positive frame of mind. Some people are there who only understands the voice of retaliation so with them softness does not work. It is natural to react when others ill-treat, but I feel that one must try to boil down any heated situation first, but if it continues from the other end, then it's better to cut it short with a tough call.
    shampasaid


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