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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Welcoming a second child? Has things changed?

    The dream of a married couple or a couple in a relationship or grandparents is to welcome a child, a new addition into the family. Although the number of children is decided by the choice of the couple and at times the medical conditions, some have to think of the financial implications of deciding to have a second child. This was not a major decision a few decades back. In the 60's-70's it was common to see 2-4 children in a family.

    Now, one has to consider the total earnings, family expenses, commitments. More importantly, the money needed for raising children. To give children quality time, education, ensuring overall development, enrolling them into sports or other talent-related classes all need a good sum of money. Having a decent paying job with good security is always not possible, hence the long term question of marriage and retirement also comes in.

    To some, the decision is hard and they stick to the plan of having only one child if the finances are limited. To some, the working couple having the second child becomes a distant dream because both are just starting their careers and do not have much support.

    In today's scenario, welcoming the second child has its own implications for some newly married couples and their families.

    Request to members not to bring in religion or population control in the discussion.
  • #666759
    The author has raised a pertinent contemporary thread regarding the choice of number of children in a family. Today many patents are employed and going for job. In such a situation wanting a child is a big responsibility. Childcare is a full time job and mother is supposed to be the best caretaker though those who can afford can have servants also for the same but nothing can compare the affection and love of a mother while bringing up a child.

    I will go a step further that the working couples are even thinking twice before going to have the first child, what to say of the second one. For example some of them are so much fond of travelling and exploring places that they can not dream their life after a baby comes in their life and they became engaged and can not go out whenever they want.

    So a change has come in the perception of people especially the working ones towards children and in that situation the birth of the first child is considerably delayed which is further complicating the matters. Many divorce and separations are taking place after this juncture only though they are no way connected with the presence of the child as both of them fight for its possession.

    This paradigm shift has come to stay in the society and will be a challenge for the newly married people.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #666761
    Mostly due to high expenses, one has to spend in the upbringing of the child people think before planning a second child. These days when the education cost is so high its tough to bear the fees even of a single child.

    Even I and my wife also thought that we will have a single child but destiny wanted something else as we had twin kids. I have observed most of the couple plan only a single child unlike in the past when people use to have even 4 kids. Maybe in those days parents were not much conscious about education and other activities or maybe everything was cheaper than what we have these days.

    No doubt people are career oriented these days and don't want extra responsibilities which may affect their career that's one of the reasons they don't even think of a second child and that's good if we think from point of view of the growing population of our country.

    Sanjeev

    " We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    – Abraham Lincoln

  • #666798
    Yes, nowadays many people are stopping with just one child, thinking of high expenses. My cousins and friends are also decided to have only one child, but not just that they do not afford financially but for peace of mind. When I asked my cousin she replied that many of her friends were telling that they fed of with their children, they fight with each other and they don't listen to parents, etc. and they always say that They might have been happy only with one child. Thinking of all these, my cousin and her partner decided to have only one child.

    But few of my friends decided to have one child due to financial issues and thinking if they are not capable of affording two children. And I have seen some families, who have 2 children but they are unable to give them a good education and life as they are low financially. I am unable to decide what is correct.

    Regards,
    Ramya

  • #666799
    These days the expectations are very high. Every parent wants his child to live like a king. So he has to make sure that he can arrange all the comforts required. They wanted to give the child the best education which requires a good amount of money. Even the health issues and treatment for small issues also costing a very huge amount. So many people are thinking twice before going for a second child. Irrespective of the gender of the child many are trying to limit to only one child.
    But personally, I feel one should go for two children. Otherwise, the child will feel lonely and he doesn't understand the affections and relations with brothers and sisters. These days grandparents are not staying with the parents. So father and mother have employed means the child will become alone in the house and he will get accustomed to TVs and phones. There will be nobody in the house for a time pass also.
    Even though the chances are very rare I have seen one or two couples who lost their only child and they are desperate and there is no chance for them to have a child at an advanced age. So it is better to think of having two children.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #666839
    My husband and I were in our early thirties during our marriage. Our son was born after five years, so we never thought of a second child. Today when I see my son, I feel he lacks a companion at home. At a certain age, siblings share a lot among each other, which he misses.

    There are many reasons which cripple the parents to take the plunge of parenthood for the second time. Late marriage is always a hurdle. I never thought of having a career after marriage due to various reasons, but at times, I think people should not be over calculative because everyone learns to manage the situations according to their need. Financial issues, career, home front and everything else is manageable if we intelligently, systematically and patiently handle the matters. Nothing will become an obstruction, but we easily give up, so the generation next becomes the sufferer.

    shampasaid

  • #666844
    To have the earth balanced, each couple is required to have two children. By having a single child, the world population will get reduced. Look at the example of the reduction of population.

    Single child :
    A is married to B and gave birth to X
    C is married to D and gave birth to Y

    Now X and Y married and gave birth to Z
    Who will marry Z? No one there.

    Thus the earth population will be reduced to zero.

    Two child
    A is married to B and gave birth to two ( X and Y)
    C is married to D and gave birth to two (Z and Q)

    X will marry Z and give birth to two
    Y will marry Q and give birth to two

    and so on to have a well balanced earth.

    No life without Sun

  • #666846
    Most of the people are going for a single child due to various reasons. The mindset is changing. It is difficult to manage a big family so better to have minimum number of children.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #666862
    # 666839 by Shampa sadhya gives a very realistic and real life experience response. I have to concur with most of her points, related to that situation.

    While this fits and justifies for a micro level issue, it is now different at macro level. It is in this context that I have concurrence with the basic point by SuN , that couples should have at least two children to keep the replacement rate going.

    Our nation's aggressive family planning programme has resulted in negative rate of growth in population. If the trend continues as such, that will have disastrous results.
    .As per the last census, except for a certain section, most other sections of population are facing the negative growth problem. This can result in a total change in demography of the country and change the basic identity nature of many nations.
    Due to the good standard of living and medical facilities, longevity has gone up. Combined with negative growth many countries have more population of senior citizen and less percentage of youth population

    Many countries including China and many European nations have found this and are now urging people to have more children.
    So it is justifiable, ethnically, demographically, socially and logically necessary to have a second child for each couple.


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