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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Courage to say 'No'.

    In our life there are occasions when we want to say 'no' but due to the situation, persons involved and other considerations we are not able to pronounce it.

    Many people especially the simple and gullible ones face this problem time to time. There is a situation where one is asked for an option and one does not like it due to various reasons but can not deny it or express clear cut negation to it and puts a confusive yes to it. Like saying - 'I will see to it' or 'Let me think. I will come back'.

    Such response does not result in any conclusion and remains open as it was. If one has got courage to say 'no' it will not happen.

    What is your opinion on this? Please share your view.
  • #666934
    Hi, this is the very problem I am facing. I cannot say 'No' at many times. Don't know why.

    in fact many of my peers and close aides have suggested me to say a No when something you do not wish to do or could not be able to do; but in vain. Especially, introverts face this issue. They do know, a negation accompanies many questions being thrown at them which they feel under confident to confront. I am one among such. Especially, I cannot say know to my close circle.

    But I do agree, having courage to say 'No' is a success mantra which shall keep the relationship healthier. And relieves the self from tangled into unnecessary pressure and pleasing others at cost of own destruction.

    "Whatever may be the situation of the forest,
    a Lion would never eat Grass!"

  • #666943
    In our life we encounter different types of situations and we have to give our decisions, consents and even suggestions and advices. Most of the times we will be able to take a prudent decision but there are instances when we are not clear in our mind what to do and require more time in analysing it and then taking a final call in it. Unfortunately, sometimes we will not be give time and will be required to take a spot decision about the things and that is where an ability to say 'No' matters.

    The ability to say 'No' comes with experience and those who always do homework in the back of their mind and have strong convictions have this quality and do not hesitate to say 'No'.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #667013
    Yes. We should have the courage to say NO when you want to say NO. This is happening in our day to day work life. When you say YES, wherever you should have said NO, the onus of making it possible will be on you and if fail, your credibility is at stake.

    Giving false promises is not good. I have seen in Offices, when the superior assign some task some people blindly accept and say YES because they do not have the courage to say NO. The consequence of saying YES becomes more costlier than saying NO. When you are very sure that certain task cannot be accomplished within the given deadline, it is always better to say NO. Because you are responsible for your commitments.

    "If you don’t understand my silence, you will not understand my words"

  • #667026
    When it needs we must be able to say NO. But sometimes if we want to extend the issue without giving them a clear yes or no, we may say I will see. I will think. Especially when we are in a position where we are the deciding factor, we can straight away say No or yes. But we should be able to face the consequences boldly and we should not suffer a loss. This requires logical thinking and a lot of efforts. Sometimes by saying Yes you may be having more benefits than what you lose.
    Imagine you are a factory manager If the Union leader comes to you and asks you for the advance of a small amount if you say immediately "Yes" he thinks he will get always positive reply only and comes to you again and again.. If you say no immediately, we may need his help afterwards he may not cooperate with you. There we should extend the matter to some time and see that he will not lose hope and he will not be sure also. He has to make rounds to you. After 3 or 4 trips you can give him advance a little less than what he asked. Then he will be with you and you will have your upper hand.
    My point is your answer should be a better option among the three. But wherever you have to say No you should tell that.

    always confident

  • #667031
    In many situations, we do that as we cannot gather the courage to say NO bluntly on a person's face.

    I have faced several situations where I wanted to deny what a person asks but we can't do that because of the relationship with that person. Most of the time it happens when someone asks for money. I had lots of friends whom I didn't like to lend money but I had to give due to the circumstances.

    But it's better to say at the first time and close the loop otherwise the person will come again and again in a hope that you will favour that person.


    " We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    – Abraham Lincoln

  • #667047
    A lovely thread that speaks about the 'Art of saying No'. Many of us including myself find it difficult to say no to colleagues, friends etc.

    I think this is because of our hesitancy or concerning nature that would I be mistaken, would the person get offended etc. Our good nature is sometimes misused by people who know us well. Such people ask us favour after favour. Could you cover me for a couple of hours? could you do this presentation for me, could you do this Sunday duty also etc. The other reason is some of us are unable to stand firm and say an assertive 'no'.

    Even though, inwardly we resent these, outwardly we mumble yes or get arm twisted into agreeing. We should start thinking about ourselves, our quality time and be polite but firm and say ' Sorry but I am unable to do it/ would not be able to do it. One backlash effect of being firm is that the opposite person would be angry and waiting for their turn to say no or become unfriendly. This can be a potential difficulty in workplaces.

  • #667052
    This is the situation I can see clearly in my university. There is a strong influence of student political parties in my university where student leaders can go to any extent to gain the votes just like real politics. When first year students arrive at my university, clearly they don't know the life of living outside their homes and many of them are nervous in the beginning and sometimes are afraid too. Student leaders take the profit of this situation and try to persuade first year students to do the party work such as gain votes or join a rally or so on. Many students who feel there is no other choice have to say YES and a lot of their time and sometimes money is wasted.

    When seniors ask juniors to have a little drink or smoke some cigarettes with them, some gullible ones fear to say NO, and this is the time where they start spoiling their life.

    Everyone should have the strength to say NO and YES according to what they feel and stand up for the truth.

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