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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    When friends turn into lovers.

    Today due to co-education and modernisation in the society the friendship between the boys and girls is very common. They play together, walk together, travel together and have picnics and parties and all those activities bring them closer. It so happens that in some cases when these children grow up some of the friendly pairs feel attracted to each other and eventually marry and settle down and raise a family. There are many such cases and their parents also allow such marriages as they had seen the children growing together since quite a long time.

    These marriages are basically in the nature of love marriages and the only difference is that the partners know each other for a quite long time and both are well aware of the habits and mannerism of the other partner.

    Do you think that such marriages are more successful and live long? What is your view about them?
  • #670327
    Those children who are studying together generally separate out when they go to college as they pursue the different streams and then they just remain friends. In some cases, it may so happen that they have opportunity to be in the same place and may also feel attraction for each other which can finally culminate in their marriage. Now to say whether such marriage will be more successful or not is difficult because marriage is a commitment and responsibility between the two adult people and requires patience and sacrifice for each other to sustain it. So, these will be different from case to case basis and we can not predict anything like that.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #670333
    Oh yes; such marriages do work. I know of so many such marriages and come to know of them from my daughter. Every few months, she says to me, 'Ma, do you remember, so and so, he/she is getting married to so and so. The people getting married were young kids who my daughter used to play with - I have seen them grow and mature into beautiful human beings.

    They share a certain camaraderie that other couples may find difficult to match. I have seen inter-religion, inter-caste and inter-state marriages. And the good thing is that parents are open and accepting of their relationship.

    I have had the fortune of attending a couple of them. One that I have beautiful memories of is of a Keralite Catholic boy marrying a Bengali Brahmin girl. Both families are known to me. They had three weddings – a registered wedding, followed by a traditional Bengali wedding and then a Church wedding.

    'A love affair with knowledge will never end in heartbreak' - Micheal Garrett Marino

  • #670343
    Yes, such marriages are successful because the partners know each other well before the marriage unlike in the arranged marriage.

    I have witnessed such love marriages during my college where the couple were friendly and after completing college I get to know that they got married. It's good because sometimes the couple have the same interest, they have the same qualifications and same profession which give them an advantage over the arranged marriage.


    " We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
    – Abraham Lincoln

  • #670344
    Such marriages are generally successful but mostly unsuccessful. Friendship and marital life are two different things. According to me, there should be a thrill and a surprise in our life. That can be experienced only through marriage with an unknown partner.
    No life without Sun

  • #670353
    Again the success of these marriages will depend on the maturity levels of both the members involved and the true love they with each other. I know a few cases of love marriages which are failed within a very short time. And I know some love marriages which are successful also.
    It will start as a friendship and later on turns to be partners in life and for some silly reason, they quarrel and decide to part away. This is very unfortunate. Once two persons married each other become a family, they should feel that all the joys or difficulties they encounter or common and they should take them unitedly. If they take them as mine and yours the difference of opinions start. So parents should see whether their son/ daughter is in real love or he/she is under an attraction and once they decide that they are in true love then only permission can be given for marriage. If they are in a doubt they should take some time and allow both the girl and the boy move together for some more time so that they will understand each other.

    always confident

  • #670375
    So far adjustment - angle with the couple is currently concerned, it would not create any problem since being th of them are aware of the temperament of each other. Hence it is expected that a better understanding between the two will prevail.
    This being a mere assumption but in case of development any odd circumstances when either of the two are separated for a prolonged period because of the job - conditions, some changes in their temperament may occur. But then, faith is the most important and this would not allow the relationship to break.

  • #670381
    During school and colleges days the girls and boys do get attracted to each other and that need not turn into love and later marriage. Coeducation has been the order of the day to check the boys and girls surge in education grade wise and rank wise. But at the young age of schooling, i do not think love will blossom into a definite and standing relation later. Because acceptance of both parents has to be there and in some cases, the transfer of students to other states is also possible. Just because one or two cases happened we cannot generalize the matter and give discussions here.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

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