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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Blend your advice and consolations with the spice of practicality

    People who are in any kind of difficult situation in their life often tend to receive sympathy and consolation advice from their well-wishers and also from other people. These advices and consolations are normally very stereotypical and idealistic which sometimes fail to comfort the person in difficulty. Some example of such advises are "Don't worry, Whatever was to happen has happened, whatever happens, happens for good", Its god's wish, Whatever was to happen has happened, you cannot change destiny" etc.

    Though these words are good to hear and reality too but sometimes they fail to sync with the person facing the unfavourable situation as his or her mind at that time is engrossed in grief, regret, or anger and is not open to such kind of idealistic words. Only a person going through a difficult situation knows how difficult it is to control his mind and emotions.

    I think, keeping all this in mind, whenever we advise or console people in grief or difficulty, we should first try to place ourselves in their shoes to realize what the other person might be going through. After this, rather than giving stereotype advice which would be already given to him by loads of other people, we should try to make our advice different from the crowd and give more practical advice or solution which can gel with the person affected and comfort him. This may sound different to the affected person and his mind may accept these words and give him some strength.

    {Edited}
  • #698185
    A good piece of advice. When a person is in distress, she/he may not feel like to listen to anything and moreover by listening to the same old stereotypical advice can be a cause of irritation too. It's very important to empathise with a person in distress and one needs to be practical and realistic while dealing with such a situation. A practical suggestion is all that the person may need when in distress. One has to judge the situation before advising anything. If it is found that the person wants to stay alone then it is better to suggest that too. It has to be seen that the person in distress does not get irritated by others' advice.
    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #698188
    Nice post by the author. When people give advice it is generally something done in a formal way and they would not think whether the advice has some weight or not in term of its practical utility. Still, we all go on giving great advices to people in distress. Whenever a person loses something big in life people console him to be patient and forget it as life has such setbacks sometimes and it is not that such misfortunes happen with a particular person only. But how a person can overcome his grief so quickly. He would be in a condition of shock and trauma with that adverse happening and we are telling him to forget everything. In fact it takes time in such situations to come back to normalcy and then only the person would become normal and restart his life in the usual fashion.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #698266
    It is very easy to give advice to other people. But we will understand the other person's problem fully only when we get into his shoes only. That is people always say that hear what others say but decide on your own. Never go by another person's advise. Nobody these days will take the pain of understanding the other person's problem full and from the point of view of the sufferer. Just they will console and say something and their business is over. Such suggestions may not be really helpful to us.
    I personally feel it is better not to give any suggestion when you are not fully involved or understood the issue. The advice made with half knowledge is very dangerous. So if you are really serious about helping the other person study the situation and understand fully and then only try to give advice.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #698269
    When the author suggests "we should first try to place ourselves in their shoes to realize what the other person might be going through. " it is for showing 'Empathy.' It is far more better and stronger than sympathy. In empathy the 'you' and 'me' come to merge. The status is onequal footing.There is no'superior me' and 'helpless you'.
    Communication is easily understood and accepted in equal level.
    As rightly concluded by the author,empathy ensures that "affected person and his mind may accept these words and give him some strength."


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