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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Quarrel under the same roof

    While I was standing at the kiosk located by the road to purchase a packet of cigarette at Ashok Vihar, New Delhi I saw a couple alongwith their 3 young daughters was coming from the nearby colony towards the main road where I was standing. They were quarreling and shouting at each other whereas their 3 daughters were messing around the road while walking. They passed by me, kept move away with incessant shouting till they disappeared into the next turn of the road. Finding me being transfixed the shopkeeper told that it was the normal occurance of this couple.

    I don't generalize this incident though, but it never happens that spouses don't quarrel each other under the same roof. I won't believe if any couple claims that they've never quarreled in their entire married life. Many of the women are observed of having a unique quality of going off on a tangent in case they are close to be proven as guilty. Man can only vent his anger because of his socalled patriarchal supremacy but woman is more gritty in quarrel.

    P.S. Exception isn't denied
  • #699331
    Why a quarrel happens because the understanding level between the family members were not up to the mark and there needs to be clarification and knowing the facts further. It is the fact that the ladies of the house get into quarrel mode even at the smallest remark or some kind of underrating done by other member of the house. Where as the male members of the house would have the give and take policy and would not take the matters to their heart but the female members want to the male members to prevail and assert their rights to involve in the face off. It is the natural reaction in every home that even on small matters the members would not agree and go for the argument. Sometimes the argument seems to be more quarrelsome but in fact it is their way of getting the things clarified. Anyway shouting before others and kids must be avoided.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #699335
    Different people have different habits and ways of living. Someone has a liking for something while the other would have liking for something else. So tastes would differ. Hobbies would differ. Attitudes would differ. There are so many differences but the nature's great gift love or affection unites them and binds to live under the same roof. Still with time differences give rise to confrontations and conflicts. Each of them thinks that his philosophy is the correct one and does not agree with the propositions made by the other persons. These are the reasons which lead to quarrel. Interesting thing is that quarrel would not give any solution and it is only to vent out one's anger. Another bad thing with quarrel is that it is repetitive in nature and sometimes addictive also. Though it is better to refrain from this evil but being human we all are succumbed to it sooner or later.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #699341
    You did not mention the status of the couple whether they were modern or rich or middle-class or poor from the hutments. The rich and educated won't go to the extent of quarrelling on the streets. They maintain their dignity in the public.
    However, the quarrelling couple on the roads will have a great love for each other. When they reach home, they get on well to have a peaceful day or pleasant night. There are many such open-hearted couples who don't mind to fight or quarrel in pubic places. They don't act.

    No life without Sun

  • #699358
    Quarrelling is a gift presented during the marriage/life that one takes and keeps for their lifetime. As mentioned in the post and other members, there is ruction and fracas in every house. Some keep it low, some medium and in some cases, some out of the four walls. Even if they quarrel, if they have love, they will sure amend it before they go to bed the same day. Many couple have this habit of clearing their differences in a fight and then calm down. It is just the partner of the spouse must understand the others nature and reactions. Some don't react even after having a bad spat but for some, even a small variation in pitch may make it worse. Every couple has their own ways of mending and knows well to sort it out. It is better for one to keep mum while other blasts as it will help to dwindle. Always try to keep your quarrel with the four walls or far from your children as they learn to see you and even worries them.
    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #699362
    When there are two people, definitely there will be some difference in opinions of them. Same is the case with wife and husband also. But both of them by sitting together and discussing the same, they can come to an understanding. This will give them a better understanding and their children will not know that their father and mother are having a difference of opinions. Some times we may not be able to come to an understanding and then I believe that we can accept the proposal of the spouse and see the results. It may be a mistake we can learn by doing the mistake. One time it is OK.
    The differences between life partners should not be known to the third person. So we should keep silent when a third person is available. When we are alone we can discuss the same. Even we should not quarrel with our partner in the presence of our children also. That will send the wrong signals. I have also seen many partners quarrelling with each other in the presence of the third person. I never like it.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #699364
    Basically quarrelling starts due to some derogatory remark passed on to the wife while husband himself was not aware of the fact the situation would take such a violent turn. It might be slip of toung sometimes but wife sometimes becomes unnecessarily touchy.
    The solution lies in deeper understanding of the emotions of each other apart from undoubted love for each other.
    Quarrelling in the streets can be seen sometimes between the couples but such quarrelling does not last for long because of their close relationship and hence nothing to worry on that account. Some couple take such episodes as source of entertainment for them and sometimes it is essential to renew the relationship to a greater height.

  • #699402
    I do not think that there would be a family where there would not be a quarrel anytime. When people live together difference are bound to be there and in spate of arguments and discussions sometimes things turn in the direction of quarrel. Only thing is we should not encourage this trend and try to nip it into the bud. Quarrelling is a bad habit and harms the individual involved in it.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #699412
    A Malyalam saying is used by elders to justify the frequent small quarrels and arguments between spouses is " Chattiyum kaavumaanengil thattiyum muttiyumirikkum"- (If there are pots and pans, they will stay by hitting and touching). Just to mean those small tiffs are common.
    It is only when such small tiffs and difference are not controlled they become problems. Usually after some initial time of cohabiting couples understand each other's strength and weakness and adjust accordingly. Couple should try to supplement and complement each other instead of picking up differences and highlighting defects and deficiencies.
    Common goals, cementing of family relationship children etc make them see sense and make them adjust and accommodate.

  • #699428
    To keep love and closeness between the spouses every husband, now and then, should keep on praising his wife, like- you like the food she's cooked for you- praise her, she's prepared herself for any function- give a hug with praise. She's purchased some items in the market- praise her choice instead of finding fault.

    When she is extremely angry and shouting at you she can easily get calm down by simply praising her beauty in anger etc.

    One important lesson I've learnt that her husband should never use wrong words for her own family (parents, siblings and all others)


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