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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Do not compare your children with others

    I am a teacher for the last 24 years and I have observed that most of the parents compare their children with other children. They always torture the children by giving examples of other children. This habit creates an inferiority complex in the children and prevents the development of the children.

    Every person and every child has its own personality you cannot compare anyone with others. Comparison of a child with other lower down his confidence and you can never boost up the confidence in future.

    So, never compare the performance of a child with that of another child. Every child has its own ability to perform. You should try to motivate your child to do better next time.

    Dear friends, please share your experience in this thread.

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  • #701481
    We have the habit of comparing our children with others with respect to studies, knowledge, habits, sports, talents, etc but we never understand that every person has his own way of dealing with things. Every student has their own capacity and capability, we cannot expect everyone to be Einstein, Sachin, Putin, Lord Ram, Lata Mangeshkar, PT Usha, Abdul Kalam, Amir Khan, etc. Everyone is different and has a role in this world and can perform accordingly. It is not just students, we need to stop comparing everything with everything like parents, wife, husband, teachers, doctors, family, company, school, college, etc. When we stop comparing and are content with what we have in hand, we will be able to make the best use of it and be praiseful for what we have then complained.
    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #701484
    Many people do this. They will appreciate the other person and tell their children that the other child is better than our child. This is a very bad way of dealing with people. They will develop an inferiority complex. That will demotivate the children. So we should not compare others with our children. We should motivate our children by appreciating them for whatever they achieved and making them understand that they can do much better.
    If a child is not doing well we should understand the reasons for that and we should see that those reasons will be eliminated so that the child will perform better. That will make them perform at a higher level. By motivating them, we can see that their confidence will get boosted up and try further for better performance with a lot of enthusiasm.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #702673
    Being human it is natural to act like that and tell our child that see he is doing so good and why you cannot do better. But instead of doing this the better policy would be to inculcate in their mind to develop and progress in life to become successful and set an example for others. By doing this they can be motivated. Simply comparing might bring inferiority complex in them.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #702677
    The kid may have delivered his best and might have scored the best when compared with his/her previous marks. Yet, parents are not happy. The reason is that the other kids have scored more marks than their kid. It is the parents who teach comparison to little ones. Instead of making their kids understand that the focus should be on self and not on others performance, elders deviate the focus of little ones towards others.

    Many feel that comparison is must otherwise how will a kid improve. There has to be a benchmark, and other's performance inspires to reach it. I do not understand why other's performance will make us decide our benchmark. For example, 100 is the highest marks kids can achieve in their exam in every subject. Thus, the benchmark is already set. Now, the kids should be encouraged to improve their performance every time and try to score better than their previous tests. Even if they are scoring one mark more than their previous exam, it means they are improving. In every test, they don't have to prove themselves better than others. They have to do better than what they did last time.

  • #702683
    I saw a photograph of a B Tech graduate on FB. He, wearing his formal dress, was pulling a rickshaw, his two passengers were his old parents. His father was wearing his gown and his mother his cap. His father despite being a rickshaw puller gave him best education and the son paying his gratitude to that rickshaw and paying his respect to his parents pulled them home in rickshaw himself.

    Can he be emulated for those students whose parents are wealthy ?

    Comparing good students to careless sons in order to encourage them doesn't create any inferiority complex however slamming or scolding or taunting may be detrimental.


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