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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Let's salute the single parent mother!!

    In life, we often see what we see in the movies. In Hindi or Tamil or whatever. It is a rather welcome sight to see strong women, who are least bothered about what the society would speak about them. If they felt that the husband was not a good guy, get the divorce done, and stand on her own legs to educate the children or more often than not, the only son or daughter. The lady is obviously highly educated and the child or children understand very well the situation.

    I had known at least six such cases of women in the USA. However, when we are now looking for a suitable match for our daughter, we have identified as many cases in India as well. The woman is so bold and narrates the entire story. The boy, mostly IT professionals based in the USA or in Bangalore, is equally proud of their mother. Unfortunately, the so-called horoscope matching did not work and the families were so keen on that aspect.

    However, such single women need to be congratulated. And when I thought that this was possibly true of only my community, just yesterday, I heard of one such family right here in Chennai of one woman, who thought it will be fine to divorce her husband and live single. She actually is related to one of the founders of a prestigious Chennai based group of companies.

    Society evolves its own norms as it becomes increasingly modernize. When things go out of hand, to stand up and do what they feel is right. Let us celebrate their strong will and courage.

    This is my entry for the 13th birthday special a thread a day challenge participate and win prizes contest.
  • #701419
    The mother of single child had to fight the life hard and without the support of any male member some issues cannot be dealt with. And if the parent happens to be elder and the child is living abroad, the challenges are more. One such woman who is ageing 67 is struggling hard to manage the day to day life. And during the lock down period she has to request many to help her out for fetching the basic of the day and thus I could realize that parents send the children abroad for the better prospects and hope they would return back. But invariably when the children gets habituated to foreign soil and life style they seldom show interest on India and try to discard the parents and other relations. There are instance when the parent died and the children were stay put in their country giving obituary references on social media.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #701432
    Mohan Sir, I have not fortunately heard about such an instance. The cases referred to by me are all cases where the mother is with the child or children. She has given everything to her child or children and taught them to be brave.

  • #701438
    The scenario presented by the author depicts the true sacrifice of some of ladies in our societies for the betterment of career of their children if they see that their husbands lack interest or otherwise. They would be vigilant in the entire activities of their children even sacrificing her leisure timing. Their involvement is the devoid of any incentive to be offered by their kids. They are self driven in changing the lives of their kids but it is not that their kids forget their single mothers having made 180 degree change in their careers.
    Let us a take a different case when the husband is no more and the entire responsibility to bring up the kids rest on the single mothers. The mothers under such situations discharge their role effectively without having any expectations from their own kids. Their only satisfaction is that their children are well established in the society.

  • #701485
    Jha Sir is correct. Those who lose their husbands rather early after marriage, with small children, sacrifice so much to give their children all the comforts and then resign themselves to their fate. However, the single woman is much more strong, professionally qualified, and affords to call a spade a spade, only because of her background. More often than not, she has the will power to sustain and to improve her skill-sets and her salaries. She teaches her teacher all independence and keeps on improving her relationship with those who care for her. There are many instances when relatives on either side are supportive.

    However, since the times are changing and the gainful employment of women is always on the increase, in the years to come, there will be a total metamorphosis and we will be seeing a far better situation where the women are treated like equals. The men will have no choice but to accept all the changed realities.

  • #701518
    Are we just looking at one side of the coin before concluding? It is indeed a great work to bring a child and care them as a single parent but is the case of single parenting the same? The women are blessed and are close to children by nature and the men, on the other hand, are rude, short-tempered and let-go type but are every one the same. Can we understand the law of divorce and the then run into the conclusion in such cases.

    In most of the divorce cases, the child is given to the mother and father is just given the rights to meet them and provide for them. If anything happens to the mother or if she remarries, then only the father gets the children. If the child is female, the chances are very less and the same for a male child as everyone feels that women can understand children much better than a man. It is true that men are insensitive but are our fathers the same? Even man get attached to the child but due to the very nature of masculine, he has to let go and just be an ATM.

    There are cases where the man has abandoned the women or the child but we cannot say that every divorce case has the same story. Many times, he has to let go under pressure of the law and has to surrender for the welfare and betterment of his child. I do salute every single parent for taking care, pain and giving love to their child but it is always better for the child to get the love of both the parents.

    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #701580
    Verghese Sir, I have quoted only a few cases. In each of the cases, the men were cruel and had effectively ditched their wives. Yes. It is also quite true that the reverse may be true. Some years ago, I did hear about one such case. I did not have the time then to understand the person better at that point in time.

    It is through references that I got to know a bit about these strong women. It does show their courage to break free and also be so independent.

  • #701625
    The children are always victim when the parents are separated or when one parent is no more. The single parent takes up the responsibility of both parents and tries to fill the void to the maximum. But still the children may have the effect if not immediately sometimes later.
    However we have to appreciate all those single parents who were forced to be so by compulsion, being not their fault, who had reared their children to the maximum possible best way they could.

  • #701716
    I know a case where the mother left the husband and two sons and fly off with another person. When we see the details there is no fault from the husband and why she left is a puzzle even after years of her departure from the family. Now the husband has taken care of those two children and he has seen that they grow well. Now both of them are well-placed and the father is having a happy life. He married another lady after 10 years of leaving the first wife. There are no children to the second wife. This lady takes care of the family very well.
    Why I mentioned this example, there are sufferers from both the genders. But society thinks that leading life alone is difficult for a lady than a gent. But that is not true always. Even for a male also it is very difficult to take care of the children as well as his job.

    always confident

  • #701827
    Earlier women could not think of it as there used to be a joint family and even if the husband died the family took care of the widow and the children. But later when the families moved to nuclear mode, things changed drastically and more so when women started to go for jobs and had acquired financial stability. Now in cases of divorce, women have no other alternative except to go ahead as a single mother. That is the thing they have to do in compulsion. At the same time if they are doing it successfully then it is definitely a matter worth praising. If it is a circumstantial consequence then here is no choice for them
    Knowledge is power.

  • #701837
    Thank you so much. I am very thankful for your thought. I am a single parent mother to a 6 years old child. There is no point discussing 'him', in this context.

    I am a divorcee, MCA Grad, pursuing my career in Govt Sector.

    I feel pain sometimes, however my child's future always motivates me to move-on.

    Pain because of society and their quick looks at me. They stare me like a hungry dog.

    I felt weird looks of Govt Officials. Being Single Unmarried is still been fine probably (sorry for my ignorance) however being single after marriage is difficult in several ways.

    Our society doesn't want us to be single it seems. They always probe to make ourselves feel insecure to grab opportunities or make us feel die.

    Fortunately, I am supported by my brother, sister-in-law, and brother. They make me feel proud of being a single parent and working women.

    I just can't thank them for their time and great support, they are my actual soul mates.

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