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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    We must not discuss our secrets with our friends

    When I was a child I read somewhere in any book that we should not tell our secrets to our close friends provided that we don't want our secrets be known to other people. Initially I didn't understand it because of being a child but later I realized that my close friend who did I talk freely with would discuss all our talks to his other friends. Although it's not an issue of disclosing any secret of mine, it's simply an alarming bell for me and it was inculcated in my child brain to keep my tongue in control while talking with my close friends.

    Also those people who always take interest in backbiting of others should never be chosen for friendship because if they can discuss shortcomings of other people with you, undoubtedly, they will discuss your shortcomings with other people as well. I consider them as anti social elements. Their presence in your circle is also harmful.

    (A thread a day contest)
  • #702873
    Right. The secret should remain a secret. The secret should never be shared with others. Individual secrets pertaining to one's self should never be shared. A family secret should remain within that family. A group secret should remain within that group. Most importantly, secrets should never be shared with friends, even with very thick and close friends. All our friends are not friends. Today's friend might turn as foe tomorrow.

    In addition, Secret should never be shared with women. Women are said to be not trustworthy to maintain secrets. This is evident from Mahabharatha. Maharani Kunti did not disclose the birth of her eldest son 'Karnan' who was born for Lord Surya. Her five sons 'Pandavas" came to know this fact only after Karna's death. At that time, Yudhistra cursed the women folks saying that No women on this earth will be able to maintain secret with them.

    So beware of sharing secrets with friends, especially with women friends.

    No life without Sun

  • #702878
    Secrets mean not to be disclosed.
    The great ancient strategist Chanakya has given good advice to the rulers on how to keep secrets safeguarded. One of that is no to sent out the servants who are privy and witness t many things in the palace. If you send them out then you are divulging the secrets. In their disenchantment and disappointment those dismissed employees will disclose many confidential matters they came to now. Even now the so-called 'leaks' happen in similar fashion.
    In modern days if someone is privy to some secrets or confidential matters then they can resort to extortion and blackmailing when circumstances and situations change, as we get to hear about many such stories in media.

  • #702882
    Thanks to both of you for quoting mythological- evidences to corroborate it.

  • #702920
    A secret is something that needs to be kept in your heart without disclosing it to anyone but a time will come when you no longer can keep it within yourself and you need someone to share it as it drains you. A real friend should be so that you can share everything with him and he will keep your trust at any cost. We should indeed be very cautious with people who backbite about others to you as they will certainly do the same with you so be careful of what you share with them. If your belief in ethics, then it is said that when you are no more closely with your partner or friends, it is your moral duty, not to disclose any of the secret shared among you as it will ruin not only you but also your partner as they can even share yours. There's a quote of – Kahlil Gibran, "If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees."
    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #703219
    The problem with the human beings, men and women alike, is that they want to share their feelings, talks, secrets, and other such things with others just to get relieved of the burden of these things on their head. In doing so they feel that if not to everyone they can at least tell it to their close and reliable friends. From there the story starts as these people do not know that the friend would only backbite and stab them in their back. The result is disastrous.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #703225
    Secrets of ours many not be revealed or discussed with friends, but sharing problems stating to be the others we can always discuss with the friends because a real friend is one who knows everything about us and still like us. There cannot be concealing of any information with the friends because some friends are very open and they do give the right advice and right suggestion to come out of the weak situations. Invariably when see the friends, we want to share everything with them and that includes our weakness of life and those who have the habit of playing with our weakness to take the advantage and tease us at right time. but again only friends has the right over us and they have the right to tease and correct us. This kind of interaction would bring in more closeness in friendship and that would be lasting.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #703495
    The secret is something which can't be revealed to anybody. If you tell a secret to one of your friends and ask him not to tell anybody, definitely he will tell this to somebody and also tell him not to tell anybody and this chain continues like this. So the secret should be within you.
    Lord Kunthi had Karna before she got married and hence abandoned him. She kept him in a boss and dropped the box in the river. She never told anybody. But Lord Krishna know this. After the Kurukshetra war was over, Lord Krishna revealed the fact to all Pandavas. Yudhishthira got annoyed and cursed all ladies that they can't keep secrets within them from that time onwards. That is why people say ladies can't keep within them.
    But what I feel is ladies are much better than gents in keeping secrets as secrets. If a lady really doesn't want to divulge the secrets she will never tell to anybody.

    always confident

  • #703824
    During our school days we used to talk much with our close friends and seeing this some other students even labelled us as chatter boxes. We used to share our secrets also sometimes and tell each other that it has not to go outside our close group. Unfortunately sometimes some rift took place between us and then the other student immediately shared our secrets with others. It was shocking but true.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #703948
    When we can't keep our secrets concealed how we can trust in our friends to keep our secret intact. Is it not a great risk ?

    Well said

  • #703951
    @K. Mohan:

    Of course we can share our problems with our friends and hope they will try their best to find a solution of problems.

    @Dr N. S. Rao:
    Well said

    @Neeru Bhat:
    thanks for sharing your experience but these were the good school days and on that stage you can't expect from teenager to conceal friends' secret in their fun and frolic days.

  • #704003
    Everything in this universe have changed. Old customs have changed and others so on. Similarly this has also got changed. There was a phrase, 'A friend in need is a friend indeed'. In Thirukkural, Valluvar told about the friendship as a hand while our dress got loose - Udukkai izhanthavan kai pola aange uthavuvathaam natpu. It is told in one discourse that many secrets we can share only with friend. The friendship is explained in such a way earlier. But friends are not like this as they are also cunning so that the author comes to that decision. But this is very less percentage.

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