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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why can’t we normalise the fact that men too can cook?

    I don't know whether it was late realization or becoming matured being a father of two daughters, this question started haunting me quite for some time, particularly after going through various updates on WhatsApp status by friends during the lock-down period. In my initial days, my mom never allowed me to do any home related work including marketing being the elder son who was doing good in studies. This favoritism continued and life continued without any need of cooking for my self during my stay outside. After marriage, my mom warned her D-i-L that she brought up her son without giving any pain of doing additional works. Thus I enjoyed the privilege of being a male but I understood that Cooking can be a good hobby during my stay at Pune and slowly learned the basic elements of cooking from my wife. It would be a different story.

    But the point at issue is that a Son would be treated as a special invitee in the house even today while a daughter is given training for all sorts of management from cooking to marketing. Why can't we train a boy to share the responsibility of the kitchen and wipe out the traditional feeling that Girls' only have to learn cooking as it would be their job to take care of the kitchen after marriage? The normalization of this job should be done because some people still hold the view that 'it's not a man's responsibility'. One should not consider a basic necessity to be associated with a particular gender and it holds no water in the present scenario.

    What's your take on this?
    An entry for the A thread A day challenge contest
  • #703382
    Being a housewife I was always concerned about this issue as in our society the jobs are already distributed right from the time of upbringing of the children. When my elder or younger brother came from outside our mother would ask us - have you given water to bhaiyya (brother). But when we came from outside we took water ourselves. So this was so deeply taught us that we take it as granted. But I think now situation is changing as women are also doing jobs and would not fetch a glass of water for their family members so easily. Anyway it is a good change. Let everyone learn the basics for survival why to depend on the woman folks even for ones hanky.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #703425
    In our house where we are 6 in the family 5 girls and 1 boy, the need for cooking was never required but yes, other house chores would be shared. Cleaning the house, one's clothes, dusting, going to market, arranging things, helping to bring things from market or neighbours, booking LPG, bringing ration, carrying luggage, cutting meat, etc was men's job. Even during functions, coconut scrapping, decorating, arranging tables, etc were given to men of the house.

    As the time is changing, we have seen many changes and cooking is also one to notice. Many known chefs are men, many are taking hotel management, many are running roadside shops(Thattukada), etc and even in lockdowns, we have seen many young boys and men are helping in the daily house-chores and even cooking new dishes. It is actually in the mindset that cooking is only girls job but many are changing and even we need to change. If we can start it from our home, it will be better and slowly we can ask our relatives, friends, society, etc to do the same.

    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #703448
    I totally disagree with the notion that only daughters should know the house keeping and cooking intricacies and the sons need not enter the kitchen. But we have trained our daughter and son to help and even prepare food in our absence so that the work should not stop. Though the cooking is done by my wife with my help, my son does the coffee and tea beverages and my daughter would wash the utensils. Thus the work of the home is divide and everybody contributes daily and that would make the life easy, otherwise too much pressure on single person would be taxing and boring.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #703450
    I am also the eldest son in my family and hence my mother never allowed me to do any works inside the kitchen or outside the house also. My father also never allowed me to do some outside works. I don't know whether my mother told anything or not to my wife, my wife never allowed me inside the kitchen. But sometimes necessity was arising and hence I learned cooking. Even I cooked food, made the Tiffin boxes to my sons as they have to carry them to their school. But the chance used to come very rarely. But I can manage. I was a brother of 4 sisters and 4 younger brothers. So they never gave me a chance to cook. Only after marriage only I started cooking.
    There is no hard and fast rule that only ladies have to cook. In our Puranas, we hear about male cooks. King Nala is a very famous cook. King Bhima, the second in Pandavas was also a good cook and he was the Chief Chef in ViratRaj's kingdom for one year. When we want to refer somebody as a great cook we will refer them as Nala or Bhima.
    These days as many gents are staying back in the house and working from home only, They are trying to spend some time in the kitchen also. Weekly twice or once they are trying their hand in the kitchen. Every Sunday in our house my sons are making food and giving leave to the ladies for that day.

    always confident

  • #703456
    The concept of women cooking and men going for work is from time immemorial. Originally, cooking is the propriety of men. The best cook is Nalan who married Damayanthi, When the Devas envied Nala, and wanted to marry Damayanthi, all the Devas took the image of Nalan and seated for Swayamwara. Damayanthi, a clever princess knows the difference between human beings and the Devas from Indra Loka. During that function, King Nala was present in the kitchen preparing lunch for the visitors. Damayanthi could smell it, and could understand that Nala was present to take her away. The real Nala came to the hall, and Damayanthi garlanded him.

    Apart from the story, all will agree that cooking in hotels and restaurants are managed by males,not females. But to a husband, a dish cooked by her good lady is dearer. And also, women want their men to eat their own preparation. They enjoy their husbands eating the food cooked by them.

    No life without Sun

  • #703502
    I never had any doubt about the cooking ability and expertise of men.

    Even from childhood I had seen only men cooking for large functions and in hotels. So I never felt anything different or amusing in the matter that men cook. In my family also I had seen my grandfather also helping in cooking.(Only my father was an exception to this. He never came near kitchen. He stopped with buying vegetables and groceries). In our side good cooking was qualified as " Nala paachakam'- Nala' cooking ;Nalan being a male.
    (Nala,(of Nala-Damayanti) is blessed with a boon to make any food prepared by him specially tasty by just a wave of his hand)

    I used to accompany my grandfather to many community functions where the local people participate voluntarily in doing tasks including food preparation. It was my pleasure then if some elder gives me some task like stirring the dishes, cutting vegetables, washing them etc.

    I was cooking my food for many years when I was a bachelor and staying alone in staff quarters. I had written in many contexts that I help my wife in coking and other tasks at my home. I have the credit for cooking reasonable well. I am a repair expertise too when somebody's cooking goes bad.

  • #703518
    If the husband starts working in the kitchen no revolution is going to occur, nor will prosperity begin to shower its blessings on woman.
    I don't like to jump on the bandwagon as I've clear demarcation between man and woman and their responsibilities. All the inside home responsibilities are related to women and all the outside home responsibilities will have to be performed by men.

    I want to see women as queen of the house instead of a maid servant of strangers while working as airhostess. Where she has to rush towards passengers even 10th times while saying with smile 'Yes sir, what can I do for you'.

    I want to see women wearing decent dress instead of looking at their almost naked body while performing cat walk on ramp where all lewd-eyes gazing her body to see her on bed.

    It's the fault of the men that their wife or sister agrees to casting couch for the sake of job.

    I want to see women in respectable profession only like teacher and doctor.

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