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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Situations where we cannot call a spade a spade

    There are instances in our lives when something untoward happens in the family or society or even in the country that attracts our attention. As per our knowledge and other salient factors regarding the issue we understand it as per our perspective and find some interesting things but sometimes are hesitant to share it with others. Does it happen with you also? Why I am asking this question is though our deductions might be true but telling them openly might be a too straight thing which many gullible and simple people would not accept or rather say would not digest and instead of appreciating our deductions start blaming us for our wrong view. So there are situations in our lives when we cannot say a spade a spade. Please share your views on it.

    My 12th entry for the thread a day contest.
  • #703413
    Nowadays, we come to such a situation now and then. As an Indian, we may feel that certain rules or laws or even amendments are not good for the common man but we cannot speak it in public as many andhbhakts are ready to talk big without understanding the real fact. They have made the situation in such a way that anyone questioning is tagged as anti-national, terrorist or against progress and they ask you to go to Pakistan. They never understand that the government is of the people, for the people and by the people so it is the right of every citizen to get the correct answer for their questions instead of getting tagged with such provoking tags. Because of such andhbhakti, many people just have to have to keep quiet like the Common-man cartoon just a bystander and cannot call a spade a spade due to fear.
    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #703451
    That type of situation comes many times in our professional life. The boss calls us and start telling us something which we know very well and we know that what he is telling is not correct also. But on his face immediately we can't say that what he is telling is not correct. He will get annoyed and try to prove that he is correct and as a subordinate, we can't differ with him all out. So we may keep quiet and hear whatever he says. Later on, we will see that it will be proved that what he told is wrong. But on his face immediately we can't call a spade a spade. I faced such situations many times in my career. I used to keep silent and after some time I discuss with the boss saying that this is my doubt. Then he used to think and then he used to say you can try this and you can try your version also. That is how I used to handle my boss in many instances. Sometimes we were doing costly mistakes as we have to follow his guidelines. But no option.
    always confident

  • #703454
    We should fully understand the words - What, Where, When, Why & How. Their usage is to be thought well before their use. It is okay to call a spade a spade, but there are places and times where we should not call a spade a spade. When there is a need to save some life, we should call a spade a spade.

    I strictly follow this - call a spade a spade, but when it comes to someone's life, I keep the spade away and think of saving the life.

    No life without Sun

  • #703455
    When we see that calling a spade a spade will put us in problem we keep quiet else we speak. We face this situation now and then in our life. There is no need to expound it in more detail.

  • #703486
    I am one who justifies and finds relevance in the Sanskrit quote' Satyam brooyaat priyam brooyaat, na brooyaat satyamapriyam"It says that we should say pleasant truth. We should not say unpleasant truth. But that does not mean that we should say lies. We should express truth in a pleasant way that the receiver accepts and assimilates it. We should not tell unpleasant truth in a brazen way.
    We are practising and advising this in many ways and many situations. Some call it motivating or encouraging or positivity etc. Even the other day there was a forum thread about not telling negative words to students and others. That would de-motivate them. This is just same as the essence of the above Sanskrit quote.
    The same sloka continues and says "priyam cha nanritam bruyat"-means never say untruth even if it is pleasant. So it is that we should not say lies or untruth, but say truth in a pleasant way that the receiver accepts and understands it without any problem.

    Kindly read my response to a similar thread on speaking truth in this connection.

  • #703487
    Such situations may arise but we need to employ some tactics to avoid the embarrassment. If calling spade a spade changes the situation for anything good we must do it, otherwise, it's better not to say anything. We need to think of the consequence if we speak frankly on issues that cause some embarrassment. It is not always verbal communication that may happen in our written communication too. It is also not possible to stay aloof. But based on a situation at times it may be better to wait and watch.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #703804
    Sometimes we have to be diplomatic as telling something straight might hurt people.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

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