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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Extract bitter experiences and bad memories

    We can forgive but not forget is an oft-stated remark. How to deal with past bitter experiences and bad memories is brought out in this thoughtful discussion.

    No matter how much we try, sometimes we can never get those old and painful memories out of our minds. There are some incidents, people, places with which our very bad experiences are associated and we want to somehow remove the memories associated with them from our minds. We can forgive but not forget... It is not just a saying but a purely practical fact. It is easy to forgive someone but very difficult to forget the acts done by him. At the same time, acts and moments spent with them remain with us like pain and we become helpless to forget them.

    But there is also a truth that if you are so connected with old memories, then how will you create new memories? It is very important for new memories to forget those bitter experiences. But how is this possible? Psychologists say that the human brain has amazing powers like save and delete which can be used to accomplish this task.

    Read good books or if you like watching, then watch Videos or start watching a movie, all these are very helpful in changing your mood.

    Keeping yourself busy is the most powerful way to get rid of those bad memories. Keep yourself busy for 7-8 hours a day and take as much sleep as you can ... Your staff will automatically come back on track and feel inner happiness too.

    When you sleep less or are tired all the time, your brain starts saving memories in every way. If there is a fight in the office and you have to complete any important work, then your mind will be more focused on that quarrel rather than completing that project. When you get enough sleep, your brain cells also become aware and start making a difference between good and bad memories. They exclude bad memories from your mind. Not only that, when your brain relaxes, but it also frees you up to 60% of those bad memories, because those memories are useless for them.

    The exercise here does not only mean going to the gym to sweat, but you should also play brain games. The strength of the body and mind can get you out of those and a good future.

    In life, good and bad times keep coming, we have to live this life with a calm and happy mind, so it is better that we forget the bad things and prepare for a new and good future.
  • #704517
    This text was submitted as an article but is more appropriate for a discussion in the forum and hence has been shifted here. Although we've had earlier discussions on it, this brought out some nice aspects and advice, and other members can also bring up their own suggestions.
    When you make a commitment, you create hope. When you keep a commitment you create trust! ~ John C. Maxwell

  • #704540
    The human brain is very peculiar. It will reserve some incident inside and some will not find a place here. Sometimes we try our best to remember what happened two days before but we can't recollect. But at the same time, the brain will be telling you what happened a year back on a particular day. Probably the mind is having selective storage option. What do we do on our computer? We save some information so that we can see whenever we want and some we will not save. Probably the brain is also following the same pattern.
    When we are not in a good mood we will be getting all the bad memories or the bitter experiences recollected. In such case, we should think of diverting our mind and get into a different subject. The subject what we bring in should be interesting or fictional which will make us get immersed completely into that subject and make us forget the bad incident which is making unhappy. This is a very time tested method to get out of bad memories from our mind.

    always confident

  • #704556
    It is the fact that when we are alone and aloof, we would come across all the bitter experience and bad memories of our life queuing up as if we are going to find the solution for that. While extracting bad experience is not the bad idea, sometimes those experience would have taken our toll of patience and pride and thus rewinding the same would give further hurt to our heart. And by remembering the bad memories, we can take corrective steps at least so that such experiences should not happen. And by remembering the bitter experience and bad memories we may double the vengeance against those who have meted out and the reason for our disregard.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #704625
    There are some instances in our life that we cannot forget. Sometimes forgetting is more difficult than remembering. Still being concious humans it would be our endeavour to forget the past and move on to the path laid ahead. Busy and enterprising people generally do not cling to their bad memories and divert their mind to constructive arenas. The key mantra is to keep oneself busy. We should move from 'What to do' phase to 'Which one to do first'.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #704632
    Yes, we need to live in the present situation not in the past as we all will have such memories in our life. Keeping busy with our routine work is good to overcome such loneliness in our situation. Never attack a person or make harsh words with them, because it can affect our mental health and after some time we may feel sorry for them. We all have bad and good memories throughout our life. It is better to keep bad memories aside and live with the good memories. Our brain is a good source of thinking tool and by giving relaxing after tough work is good to cherish such good memories in our life.
    "Earning knowledge is by sharing it with ISC and we will rectify our mistakes."

  • #704668
    Our mind is a much better hard disc than a computer that can save and store data of everything that has happened in our life, be it good or bad, joy or sorrow, argument or discussion, fight or solution, backbiting or gossip, accomplishment or love story, mischievous or deliberate act, etc which turns into memories, lesson, inspiration, haunting, goose bumping moment, etc. There are times when a days task cannot be remembered but we can recall 10years old matter word by word. Some act or incidents are inscribed on our mind and cannot be erased or deleted easily.

    Forgiveness is a starting point that can help us to wade away our bad or heal the bitterness to some extend. Forgive helps to set free the prisoner in us and act as an ointment to restore the wound or stigma. Indeed, some wounds cannot be forgotten but when we forgive the wrong done, the mind gets a chance to mend the damage and thus putting it on the back seat.

    Some of the ways to extract bitter experiences and bad memories are to forgive so that we get a chance to move forward, keeping oneself busy in the things that make us happy, reading good books, watching movies, listening to good songs, doing things that make you happy, communicating with your loved ones, friends, family, children, etc, going for a short picnic or outing, sleeping, etc are some of the ways that can help you eliminate the bitter/bad thought and if you continue being in that positive stage, slowly, you will be able to overcome the bitterness of that incident.

    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

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