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This thread is the winner of the Thread of the Week contest for the week 19th to 25th July '20.
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    It is wrong to say that you need not to have any expectations in relationship

    I have always had only one thought that there is no meaning in a relationship in case there is no expectation. There is no relationship where there are no expectations even though parents say, I don't expect that my son or daughter need to have a good job/ career /name, etc. In reality, they expect all and even expect from our parents, partners, friends and there is no point we don't expect. We expect them to earn well, gift us, take care of us, ensure do something for us.

    Do you all agree? Can you give an example where there is any relationship where there no expectations?

    Every relationship has some expectations to be met by parties involved and as per me its wrong to say there should be no expectations
  • #704828
    In Tamil, It goes on like this.....
    Kondu vanthaal thanthai (Father expects)
    Kondu vanthaalum varaavittalum thai (Mother don't expect)
    Seer ketpal thangai (Sister demands)
    Kolaiyum seivaal pathini (Wife even murders)
    Vuyir kaappaan thozhan (Friends saves)

    From this, I can understand that mother doesn't expect from her son. At any cost, she will take care of her son and feed him. She never expects, never demands, but helps.

    No life without Sun

  • #704878
    There is nothing right or wrong in the relationship, it is just that relationships importance , that how much that relationship matters in your life, if your relationship is such that you cannot even imagine life without it then forget , whether your your expectations are fulfilling or not, live the relationship with your heart.

    Give time to your relatives, then see that every moment of life becomes something unpleasant.

    Relationships can be fulfilled only when we have an understanding of relationships. Learn to read the eyes, everything is not told. Sometimes we hope that someone will understand us if we do not say anything. Relationships become stronger if a mountain of difficulties is raised together.

    This is right, today we have all become very busy and we are all stuck in some way or the other. We all want to be successful and want a lot of money. For him, even the difference of day and night is forgotten. All relationships are forgotten.

    Love is not only necessary in any relationship, it is very very important. Whether the relationship is of friendship or someone else, it is love that increases the sweetness in the relationship. Devoid of love, relationships remain just a burden and then throughout life we ??carry them like a burden.

    Swati Sharma

    Keep your Face to the SunShine

  • #704879
    Duplicate.
    Swati Sharma

    Keep your Face to the SunShine

  • #704889
    What you have emphasised is 'wish' not 'expectations'. Our parents wish that we should progress and get prosper in our lives or we should have an excellent career etc.

    'Expectations' is a different thing e.g. if you spend money on your friend or invite him at dinner or give him a gift on happy occasion then you 'expect' something good from him 'in return' at least ' thanks with smile'

  • #704918
    Expectations from one another is the essence of life and if someone says that they have no expectations from anyone and leading a normal and happy life is a foolish statement. Husband expects good behavior from the wife and she should obey him. Wife expects husband should sincere and should reveal even small things that happens to him. Children expect from the parents that they should help in completing their higher education in good school and college. And parents expect their wards to obey and be within their limits as long as needs are concerned. So expectations are there and it will remain.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #704924
    Relations with expectations or without expectations is like tea with or without sugar. It depends on person to person as to he/she do expect something or nothing in their relationship.
    There is a famous novel by Charles Dickins titled 'Great Expectations'. In the novel, the writer has played with both aspects of expectation and no expectation. But the end of the novel proves that expectations are disastrous if they are more beyond a given point.
    The ladies who are housewives have been complaining that their husbands are not providing them with enough quality time, the children are busy out of the house mostly. With the Corona Pandemic lockdown the families were forced to live together. There have been cases where domestic violence has increased during this lockdown. Who is responsible for this change? When there husband and wife were busy in their daily cores they cribbed about not getting quality time from their partner and when there is ample time to enjoy company, it is coming out to be a disaster!
    This is the reason due to expectations.
    Rather there is a very small difference between expectation and selfishness. Expectation is human instinct but when it become selfishness the disaster come in.

    Regards,
    Nadeem Naqvi


    World without God is Zero without One!

  • #704929
    Parents want or wish that their children should have a good future. It is not an expectation but a wish for the wellbeing of the children. But there will be some expectations also from their children. If a son is in a good position they expect him to take care of his brothers and sisters so that parents will not have any problem in bringing up the,m. If the children in problems definitely parents try to help them and will not expect anything from them. I have seen many such parents who take troubles for keeping their children happy.
    Relations will get spoiled when the expectations are very high. There are will be two people minimum in a relationship and both of them may expect from each other. When they are reasonable relationships will continue. When they are onesided and beyond control, the relationship will get broken.
    So it is always better to keep expectation within reasonable limits so that we will have more relatives and friends. Otherwise, we will be left alone in this world.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #704933
    Every relationship has some expectations of the opposite person. When we say that we don't expect but within ourself, we expect something. Every parent loves their children and would take care of them throughout their life but when they grow old they expect that they take care of them, spend time with them and love them, the siblings and friends at times will expect you to have time for them and be there for them when they need you, your spouse would like you to understand them, love them and be always with them, you children will expect the parent to be like a magician or super heros who will provide everything that they ask for and protect them from everyone. As you try to match with every expectation of theirs, you also have expectations from them in the same way as they have it from you. It is true that parents never expect anything from their children and keeps on providing and taking care of them but as they grow old, they also like you to do the same as they did for you. Every human has one or other expectation from the other person and it would be clear and agree with the writer in saying that every relationship has some expectations to be met by parties involved.
    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #704935
    In an affectionate and sentimental relationship sometimes there are no expectations. What is expected is love and sacrifice for each other. This may appear like a plutonic situation but it exist in some cases though we also read them regularly in stories and imaginary tales. In general and in practice this being a rare phenomenon, what we find actually is expectation and returns from anyone with whom we are in relationship of any kind. Whether we call it a human greed or selfishness it is there and is a predominant gesture in our life. If someone can come out or come above this feeling then it is a remarkable achievement.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #704936
    Expectation is the essential part of the relationship and this cannot be denied despite the declaration of a close relative that he does not have any expectation. Take the relationship of mother and son, though mother would not demand any financial help from her son but still
    she would like to have due respect from her son. If such an expectation is lacking from either of the side, the relationship will come to an end. This signifies that love is the essential component binding us together and the element of love exists with some expectation.

  • #705042
    There is a cinema song in Tamil,'naan kettu thai thanthai padaiththaanaa, illai en pillai ennai kettu pirnathaanaa?' which means my father and mother do not come in my way after my asking and my son is not born with my permission. Similarly relationship is created by Supreme power or God for every person. We can see around us there are persons without any relations like father, mother etc., and they are called as orphans. We got married a girl or boy who is living far away in our life. By marrying a girl or boy we got more relations like father in law, mother in law, sister in law etc., We are living in this world only with give and take policy. Can one work in an organisation without expecting salary? Then what is wrong in expecting anything. Expectation from others should be in a limit. You cannot refuse to extend yourself to your children or wife, it is bounding of your life. It is your duty to serve your parents and it is duty to your children to offer their care on you.

  • #705109
    Every relationship is bound to have some expectation but within a limit. Parents, according to means, try to give the best of everything to their children with a wish for them. It's not an expectation but love and best wishes for their kids. Yes, parents do expect love and care from their children, especially during old age. It's nothing wrong, but when expectation becomes a binding, then it creates a whole lot of trouble.

    Let me take the example of the lovers or the spouses. It is natural to expect that none will cheat on the other one. Love has some basic expectations such as mutual love and respect for each other, caring and mustn't have anything to hide. At times people in love cross all the limits and start demanding at every point of time, which restricts the freedom of the partner. Such a level of expectation is harmful. So, a demand to an extent is enjoyable for people in concern, when it increases day by day, then life becomes burdensome, and relationships of any kind starts crumbling.

    shampasaid

  • #705137
    I fully agree with the thought of the author. Every relationship has some expectations from others. Every relations in this world is a give and take relation.

    Though it may not be right to have expectations in relationship but we still as human being unconsciously expect something from any relation. It may be in the form of love, respect, honour, faith, loyalty etc. We may not realize it but in our mind expectations are deeply embedded but we are not even aware of those expectations. When these expectations are not fulfilled, we get hurt and realize we expect something from that relationship.

    Even parents bring up their child for their own happiness. Here expectations may be in the form of love. They expect love, honour from their wards.

    So there is no relationship in this world exists which has no expectations.


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