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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    The pride of our family is our elders

    In the changing social environment, fragmentation of joint families has taken place as single family. The concept of joint family is now seen in only a few families. In cities, single family dominates, while villages are no longer untouched by this process of socialization.

    While on the one hand, today's perceived modern generation is moving away from the traditional upbringing, affection and social values ??and rites of the elderly members, on the other hand, the single family system has forced the elders to live a lonely life.

    A large section of the elders in the country are either living a neglected and neglected life in their homes or are forced to spend the rest of their lives in the shadows of helplessness in old age homes.

    I am also among the youth of today, but I believe that without the blessings of the elders, you cannot be respected.
  • #705599
    A family is complete when we have everyone in it i.e. our parents, siblings, spouse and children. Our parents have worked hard to provide for the family and give us the best they can. As it is written in the Bible, 1 Timothy 5:4 "But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God" and 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." As we know that our elders or parents provide for us when we were small, they gave us good food, clothing, toys, gifts, education, etc and saw to it that we get the best within their limits and capacity. They would work hard to make both ends meet but never compromise on things that were required by us. They gave their best portions to us so that we get the best and be the best. They gave us good habits, knowledge, taught us to differentiate between the good and bad, requirement and luxury, simplicity and pride, love and hate, giving and snatching, etc. Our elders are the backbone of every family as they help the smooth running of the family by following the customs, tradition, religion, brotherhood.
    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #705608
    There are many reasons for the split in the families. There are no jobs in rural areas and people started migrating to cities so that they can manage their lives in one way or other. The elderly people who got accustomed to living in villages, may not be enthusiastic to move away from their native place.
    At the same time in cities getting big accommodation that will be big enough for all the family members may be very difficult and hence the young people also may not be insisting their elders come with them. We have to understand the situation of the persons also.
    But one thing is true that we should respect elders and we should get all their blessings. Then only we will have peace and progress in our lives. A family where we see some elders staying with their children will have better discipline and values. When I go for my pooja in the morning my granddaughter will come and sit with me. Now it has become a habit and in the evening when go for my prayer she will also come with me. By doing that she is getting habituated to offer her prayers. Now she will recite Bhagavadgita Slokas also. She is in her 3rd year now.

    always confident

  • #705610
    A family is incomplete without the elders. As rightly said by Varghese, a family should have, parents, children and grandchildren. Many may part and go with their wives for a lonely life due to congestion in the houses. Yet they should not stay far away, but live nearby and take care of the other family members, not financially, but morally. If they are living far away, contact others very frequently telephonically and visit them regularly.

    If one is sending their parents to the old age home or orphanage, they would also face the same problem in their old age. History gets repeated.

    Live with your elders and be blessed by them.

    No life without Sun

  • #705617
    It is true that without the blessings of elders it is not possible to progress but elders living a neglected life has got to do something with the mindset of their children. Dr Rao has pointed out the problems faced by the youth regarding big accommodation and also of the migration of youths to the city for jobs. Whatever may be the case, elders should not be neglected in any way. It is the responsibility towards each other that keeps the family ties closer. Being only concerned about oneself and not caring for others is something that youths are learning from their childhood. Somehow, many parents do not address this issue at a proper time and when it blows out of proportion conflicts with the other family members and the elders start.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #705620
    Even though we are away we should be in touch with our elders and we should be helping them in all the ways possible. These days many people think that sending money is the only way of taking care of elders. But it is not correct. We should hold their hand and see that are safe. My parents stay in a village but I stay in a city. It is a journey of 10 hours by road. Generally, I will try to visit them at least once in a month or twice in three months. I will be talking to them daily over the phone. I ask them to come and stay with me. But they say they can't come out of that place. So I always make it a point to visit them during important festivals so that we can spend time happily.
    Why I explained this is it our duty to see that we will be in contact and taking care of their wellbeing.

    always confident

  • #705639
    The elders are our best guides since they have abundant experience in the different areas and can provide valuable experience if we hear them. Unfortunately, situation has changed and the young generation along with their wives and children migrate to towns in search of lively hood. The elders remain in their native villages alone and this may be because of economical factor compelling the younger generation to leave them. The elders are aware of the situation but they don't complain either.
    However, we should always show our due respect and love to these seniors since they have always taken pain in bringing up their kids. Hence in the last phase of their lives, they need some sort of comforts at least with exchange of encouraging words so that they may feel elated.

  • #705642
    A plant or tree grows continuously. In its growth course it grows new leaves.The erstwhile green leaves slowly turn yellow, grey etc and ultimately fall down. When the leaves which were supporting the tree or plant fall down the adult green leaves take over and some more fresh buds and new leaves are being brought out by the tree.

    This is an ongoing process. But the tree does not throw out the old leaves immediately on new leaves being born. At a particular time a plant or tree will have buds, fresh leaves, adult leaves and decaying leaves. All generations of leaves live happily and mutuallysupporting on a tree .

    Our homes were also like that including many generations-at last three generations. That was a self supporting and self sustaining system.
    This changed in the modern days when nuclear families became common. That has brought with it many issues also. It is ironical that when we were poor financially and there were just one or two earning members for the large family of all ages, the family members were happy to live as joint family. Now when each member is earning and the family has sufficient financial capacity, they want to live as nuclear family and independent of others.
    Hence I would slightly change the title and say that the pride of our family is in having our parents and grandparents live with us and giving them their due roles and respects.

  • #705659
    It is true that elders support and guidance is required in our lives but how many of them take care of them? They just leave them in the middle of the ocean without supporting them.
    Lead the leader

  • #705728
    In Tamil there is a saying,' periyavarkal illaatha veedum, perungaayam illa samayalum nalla irukkaathu' which means the house without elders and dish without asafotida is not good. Similar to that the value of elders in the family is really an asset which will be felt only on their absence.
    We were in joint family consists of more than ten persons in the house. Our grand father headed the family and he was really a perfect guide to us and we proud to say we are his grandsons. He took us after passing fifth standard to post office and train us in how to send a registered post, money order, telegram etc.,

  • #705731
    When there is no elders at home, there would be shortage of good and timely advice and also the children cannot be nurtured in a better way. The bonding of grand parents and grand children is great and that cannot be challenged. I remember when we used to chide our boy or girl for their wrong doing, immediately by father and mother would scold us back and cuddle the child with much more love. Likewise when my wife used to over power the child for not eating or not doing work properly, her mother and father would intervene and scold her instantly. That is the essence of elders love and affection.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

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