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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why do we discriminate death?

    It is a commonly observed practice to ask for the age of a person who has died. It may be part of a general questionnaire but we often get to hear it. The shock and grief that we express, and may be actually experience, depends on many factors including age, health condition, financial status of the family and status of the dependents and so on. My question is why do we differentiate? Isn't the ultimate result of any death the same? That the family and near and dear ones have lost a member?

    I have observed that people generally heave a sigh of relief when they hear that the person who is no more was quite aged or that he was suffering from some prolonged illness and so on. Whatever may be the age or whatever may be one's health condition or whether the death was due to some accident or that the person had committed suicide, the person has shifted to the land of never return and that only is the ultimate truth. I always feel that death brings in the same effect and one should approach the same without any difference in feelings. The loss is irreparable for all near and dear ones irrespective of his age, position or condition. There would be at least one person who actually grieves.

    What do you have to say on this?
  • #705799
    Generally, it is a follow-up.
    What happened? He died. Oh My God. Sorry to hear this." (What else can be said after this)
    How he died? He was old/he was sick/he met with an accident/He committed suicide/ he was murdered etc

    As a stranger and not aware of the person who died, while sharing the sorrow, there is nothing wrong if we ask about the age or the reason for death. It is not discrimination of death at all, but a part of condoling the death.

    Should we simply say - OMG! RIP. and finish it?

    No life without Sun

  • #705807
    you are right in saying that the meaning of death is just one that is to leave someone from the world and who will never come back, we can only keep it alive in our memories. But still the age or relationship with that person who does not alive is matters. The reason for death could be anything but suddenly when we hear news like someone is dead, all of sudden we ask it why what happen, what was the age... when a person died due to any disease that was prolonged we will give a different consolation but if someone had an accident then our reaction would be shocking and then we will ask for more it is quite normal to say that it not discrimination in my views.
    Swati Sharma

    Keep your Face to the SunShine

  • #705808
    When a person reaches superannuation, he not only retires physically but, sometimes, mentally as well . Several diseases easily house in his body because of infirmities of old age, his frequent visit to doctors doesn't surprise us, rather, it becomes a normal thing for him, his family and all. How long he will live further, eventually, old age ends on death but if a young healthy man dies it shocks us because we expect him to live a long life.
    Rishi Kapoor and Sushant Singh Rajput died during lockdown. People paid their homage and condolences to the family of Rishi Kapoor but his death didn't shocked the country, contrary to the death of Sushant Singh which is still haunting us because he died too early. People, especially, his fans are still feeling pain why he'd died so young.

  • #705822
    Main reason for the discriminating death is because of fear. Fear means not only afraid about the miserable but also out of love. We do not want to leave our dear ones, we fear what happens to our dear ones if we die and what will we do if he or she dies etc., are the major reasons for the discrimination. But the fear itself kills us we are not understanding.
    A story: One traveler happened to cross a den once. By feeling tired he sat under a tree but he did not know that tree is one which can give us whatever we think by sitting underneath. As he did not possess anything for eating, he thought it is good if good eatables available, suddenly plenty of eatables came before him. Pleasantly he ate fully and as he felt sleepy, he again thought it is good if a bed is available, immediately he got a good bed with flowers before him. He with happy lied on the bed and immediately the thoughts gone in his mind whether this is a demons work and he feared if the demon came before him and eat? Immediately a demon appeared before him and ate him.

  • #705823
    I do agree that the loss of a person is irreparable for the near and dear ones in the family but at times it may be possible for many to accept the hard reality which is described in a realistic manner by Arafatuzzafar. Actually, there are some issues that we think happens sequentially. One such is death at an old age. If a person is suffering a prolonged illness the family members observe with their own eyes the suffering of that person. On observing the daily sufferings at times they may feel that the suffering is extremely painful than even death. They try to think of it in this way and others also begin to feel in the same way. I would say it is not discrimination but something that we ingrained after observing various situations.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #705828
    A person died means his family lost a member and that grief is always the same irrespective of his age. But if a person who is young and the only breadwinner family dies in addition to grief, that family will have financial problems also. The person who died will not know the grief his family is having or the financial problems they will have. But to know the plight of the family after the death other people try to know the facts. It will not be discriminating.
    Asking the questions like how he died and what is age and all is a part of conveying our condolences to the family. But never be regarded as discrimination.

    always confident

  • #705830
    Normally no one likes the death to occur for him or the others when the situation is going to be smooth. But there are some people who suffer from chronic ailments and who does not adhere to the doctor advice and thus their adamant attitude gives rise to other related bad ailments to them and thus their position goes from bad to worse and in that case those who are attending them would feel a sigh of relief if that person dies. No body wants to be a burden for other in this challenging times and therefore dying is the best way to get rid of further problems and thus death has become more non cared these days.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #705847
    It is a general way of asking the age of the dead person whenever we hear the death of a person and I would not say that it is discrimination when the main point is that the ultimate result of any death irreparable loss that is same for the family, relatives, and friends. There are some points that I would like to highlight taking a sigh of relief when they hear and they are:
    - If the dead is infant or children, people feel that he died young as he/she has not seen the beautiful world. The pain of such a loving soul is felt by all as we all love small children, their mischief, etc.
    - It the dead falls in the age group of 20 - 30, we feel that he had still not been able to enjoy the beautiful world and even help his family.
    - If the dead person in between 30-45, he is normally a family person who has responsibilities that are half done. We feel for the family as many may be dependent on him/her.
    - If the person is 45- 60, We feel that he still had responsibilities to complete and even talk about him/her as they may be known by many and often talk about his family.
    - If the dead are senior citizens, we normally feel relaxed as he has done most of their duties and was able to run their maximum and many times his children would be big enough to take care of the family.
    - If the dead is more than 80, a heave is felt by many as to be able to go without being a burden on the family members and to have lived a good life on earth.
    - If a sick or bedridden person is dead, people do feel relaxed as they may be well versed with the pain by the person and their family members and it is good for them to leave the earth which will reduce the pain.

    Every death is a pain for the family and that can only be felt by them, for else it may be just a ritual but for that family, it is a big loss that can never be compensated or covered. There are times when everyone feels grieved when the dead was a very known and good person and visa-versa.

    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

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