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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Regarding depression and PM report

    Dear All Friends and Learned people,

    I am new to this forum.
    I need some advice from learned people and friends regarding below.
    ? My sister got married in 2017 and 2 months of her marriage she was complained with heart block and because of this doctors advised to implant pace maker with 10 years warranty for battery (we arranged lumpsum money and she was implanted with the same)
    ? After few months she got fits complaint 3 times and took medicines for the same
    ? Both heart and neuro doctor certified that she was fit for giving birth to a baby
    ? After all issues she got conceived and her husband took so much care and attention towards my sissy.
    ? Post delivery (it's a cesarean based as she won't able to push the baby with pace maker and fits problem) she got some fungus infection in her right hand finger and seek medical advice for 1st week, 2nd week – cough , 3rd week – leg swelling and shoulder pain – we though this shoulder pain as gastric trouble as she already had this) but still COUGH not gone and because of this she was not able to get enough sleep and for feeding baby she woke up in the late nights frequently.
    ? But doctor told this cough is because of heat and cold combination and climatic change and leg swelling is because she is simply sitting without doing any work and also asked me to give some simple household work to do)
    ? At this situation we planned to take her to heart doctor which we were asked to take her after her delivery.
    ? During diwali morning she had just 1 dosa and after having the same she is ready to take fits related medicine, suddenly without any noise ot sound we were shocked she fall down from a chair and got wound in her head part and after few minutes she left her last breathe leaving all of us in a sudden
    ? Even then with a hope I took her to nearby pvt hospital, there they told no cardiac response and asked to give a complaint in the local police station for a formality.
    ? From there we were advised to take her to govt hospital and we did so and they finally declared her death.
    ? After this process police enquiry and RDO enquiry both gone and in RDO office they asked us to complete the POSTMORTEM and burial formalities as per our custom and after few days asked us for giving statement (this process is because of death post her delivery and less than 2 years of marriage – thought this as of dowry related ) but really her husband is a gem of person.
    ? Both police enquiry and RDO process got over, but still POSTMORTEM report is pending and 3 time I went to police station and I was given with a mobile number of a police sir and messaging him thru whats app , but no replies from his side.
    ? Now I need advice from all to come out of this critical mental depression as I loved my sister so much, I treated her as my daughter and her baby is with me as no one is there to take care of this child.
    ? Im not suppose to concentrate in any work (both official and personal) its only me have to take care both my son and this baby of my sissy.
    ? Im going mad with my sister's memory
    ? I just cant digest her death, im not, im not
    ? Sometimes thinking of to commit suicide and after seeing both kids face I m just kept quite and normal.
    ? She is just 25 yrs and she is a very good human being and she never even give counter to anyone.
    Please all (after reading this) don't think im in a abnormal condition
    Please advice me both for my depression and getting PM report.
    I live in Chennai (because of this covid issue im not able to go to police station frequently for follow up this)
  • #707958
    Sister Swarnalatha,
    Feeling pity and bad. I would advise you to contact a lawyer and put up your problems with her. They are the legal advisers who know how to go ahead to solve such PM problems. Else contact some known NGOs to get your problems solved. In any case, don't lose your heart; be bold; face the situations in life. May god be with you and help you in all your endeavours in life. Life is to live facing the odds.

    No life without Sun

  • #707990
    It is good that you have shared it here and believe me sharing itself is a big relief sometimes. From your writings I do not think that you are in a state of depression. You are simply going through the shock of the death of your sister and it would take some time to come out of that. Take care of the baby as that is the only link to the memories of your beloved sister. In our lives bad times come and health is such a thing that even those who have money cannot do much when it goes beyond the control of the modern medical science and technology.

    As regards to the PM report that generally takes time because the police is now much occupied with the Covid-19 problems and not giving attention to the routine and common death cases where PM is only a formality and no link to some investigation or enquiry. To resolve this, you would have to meet the head of police department and present your case to him and I am sure that he would help you in the matter. The legal formalities take their own time and do not bother much for them and concentrate for bringing your life to the normal stream. I can only suggest to divert your mind with Yoga and meditation as many people have benefited by those things and one should take advantage of these time tested methods to help oneself in such situations.

    Diverting and occupying your mind in creative and constructive activities is the only way to get respite from your tormenting present. I hope and wish you a better life in the coming times.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #708005
    Very sad to read the story. But please never lose your confidence. Sometimes God will test us with such issues. But we can't go with the people who died. So we have to be bold and should pray to God and go ahead. Remember that you are the only hope for your sister's daughter. For her betterment, you should keep yourself active.

    If there is any suspicion in her death, it should be from your side only. But you are very clear in your mind. You yourself have given clean chit to your sister's husband. So you need not think the police are investigating that angle. They may be doing the investigation in their own way. We need not worry about that.

    Generally, it takes some time to get the PM report from police. That too, it may take much more time as police are busy in pandemic and they are going slow on other issues, So don't worry. If you want immediately, you can go and meet the Station House Officer and explain to him the situation and definitely he will come out openly and he will help you. If you are not getting a positive response from them, you can try to go to the next authority and finally then only to a lawyer.

    always confident

  • #708059
    In our lives sometimes such difficult situations arise and these are actually a big setback which shake us badly. Please remember that you are not the lone person suffering, as there are many having the same plight. It is all destined for us and we have to face the sufferings that are in our fate. But a prudent person would not kneel down in front of it and would fight with it with one's full strength. I wish you to come out of this ordeal soon.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #708082
    Dear All,

    Thanks for your prompt reply.

    Dr.Srinivasa Rao Ji - thanks and well said sir as I m the only hope for this baby.

    I fear whether i can able to bring her up and make her future brighter....

    even i had 13 years old son and I m a divorcee.

    So As a single parent I need to take care both my son and sissy's daughter.

    Dont know how to forget my beloved sister.

  • #708342
    Dear All,

    No replies

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