Knowledge is power.
These days everybody is independent. Both wife and husband can earn. Similarly, any one of them can manage the house also. So there is no question that one is the boss and the other is the subordinate. They should discuss the issues with each other and come out with a proper plan to be implemented. When both the partied are involve there may not be misunderstandings and everybody will have a peace of mind. Marriage is a bond which should go for lifetime and adjustment is the key which keeps this relation go on.
Frankly, it was only one woman that I met, and the first and only one proposal brought to me by my elders. I very clearly told my elders that I can accept any woman as my spouse. I even did not want to meet her but told my elders they can finalise. But my elders beat me asking what if she wants to meet you. So I relented. My only condition with my elders was that she should have normal human values and good attitude. I was sure that by this she (we) can have a good life together. It is still so and I owe all the God things in my life to my spouse. She also will tell same about me.
Together we thank God for his kindness and seek the same for the rest of our life also.
But the reality is that nobody is perfect, neither you nor your spouse. So wise people adjust and settle their bilateral issues amicably. Sometimes, you think that you are right and your spouse is wrong but later when you think over the issues and reasons, you find that you were at fault instead.
I think life is the name of adjustment. Disputing, quarrelling, miffing all are parts of married life. The best way is that one of both should keep restraint intact and should keep his/her tongue in control, eventually, all quarrels will die soon.
Lead the leader
Although both types of marriage needs commitment and effort to work flawlessly, it's like a cycle with two wheels. Even at times when one wheel is punctured the other wheel can still carry it along and yes the efforts involved will be more.
So it doesn't matter if my family chose my partner or I chose it myself, until and unless I am not fully committed, the relationship won't work. If I don't have the understanding I will find fault in other and the other may do the same.
For the same reason I think same caste marriages were the only thing in past so that the compatibility issues are least and the efforts involved will be less to make the marriage work.
My partner will not be right for me if I am not right for her/him.
Live before you leave.
We did not face any serious problems in our life. Occasional scoldings, minor quarrels cannot be avoided in marital life. Without which life won't be interesting. Even Thiruvalluvar, the author of Thirukkural has indicated in his last 1330th Kural that "Dislike adds delight to love; and a hearty embrace (thereafter) will add delight to dislike."
No life without Sun
If you have to maintain any relationship in society then you will have to be adjusting nature. Some people blame on life partner only as they live round the clock on the same roof. But, we require adjusting nature for maintaining every kind of relationship.
As far as a human being is concerned, nobody is perfect on this earth. People should not forget human value for success life.
Nowadays, very less chance to raise this kind of question as gender equality is being seen everywhere. Boys and girls both are earning. In the absence of one, another is managing household work. Finally, we have to sail the same boat and reach the shore.
K Mohan @ Moga
'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
Even this challenging situation would ease