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This thread is the winner of the Thread of the Week contest for the week 13th to 19th Sept '20.
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Do you know what others are thinking about you?


    Why is it important to us to speculate about what others think about us? Does it really matter? Analyze why we are eager to find out others' opinions about ourselves.



    Are you worried about what others are thinking about you and plan your actions carefully after considering what may be your answers if people ask you such and such questions? If you are thinking like that you may not be alone and there are many whose actions depend on thinking what may be the reaction of others if they got to know the activities. There are many things before doing which something pulls us back and questions like 'People will start saying this' or 'People will not take this thing easily' pop up in our mind. In many cases, people cannot initiate new ventures thinking of these things. It may be anything that ranges from starting something new, making new connections outside your community or relationship. This has got nothing to do with unacceptability because the question of acceptability/unacceptability to others arises only if others are affected by the actions. If others are not affected in any way why should they even waste their time on thinking such things?

    I found something interesting by observing such behaviour of people whose actions are dependent on what others may think or say. When we communicate with each other, many people love to discuss what others are doing or whether somebody has done it right or wrong. For many, a significant part of the conversation is related to the actions of others which are just a wastage of time and gossip. Those who take part in such types of conversations tend to be prone to take decisions/actions thinking what others may say or think. Members, what do you say?
  • #710334
    Rightly pointed out by the author that we are afraid of being judged. We fail to take an action or an intiative because we already have this thing in mind as to what others/society will think and say. This is very general problem and everyone faces it, because this society is always ready to judge you.

    We must understand this about society that whatever we may do, good or bad, fruitful or waste, try or don't try, society will have an opinion.

    We must break this psych of being judged. Anyway we will be judged whether we do good or bad, so we must not restrict ourselves for the sake of making othersbhappy. It does cause an immense pressure but we must focus on better things rather than on bitter things.

    Live before you leave.

  • #710359
    Sometimes we behave in such a way to suit the observance and the need of the others though it was not our liking at all. For example in some homes the usage of onions and garlic is strictly prohibited and we cannot talk about the subject with them. However in the same house there are people who want to taste the same in other house or relative house and they would not reveal. Moreover people does not want them to be criticized or trolled for small issues and matters and therefore they pretend to be following the likes of others for a while but in reality they are against the very concept itself.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #710366
    Yes this is truth that many times people think about what others will say before doing something, but in thinking about others and making them happy, many times we make our life complex. You cannot keep everyone happy in real life. If you are doing this, then you are compromising with your principles. And you sacrifice your happiness in many places and you are doing your own harm. We sometimes resort to lies to keep them happy. We believe that people have an important part in our success, but we can do this importance without betting our success. If you want to help someone, do it, there is no harm in it, but take care that you are not losing your value.
    Swati Sharma

    Keep your Face to the SunShine

  • #710374
    I think people must optimize themselves up, so that they can help the people who've contributed some value to their life. Thinking about what others think is not the solution, as everyone has dofferent set of experience and expectation, thus there reward value differs, the person who's reward value aligns with yours only should be helped upon in long term. By help I mean helpimg them develop their life in tne same way as they help you to develop your life. This may include your bestfriend, spouse or orther family member etc. This does not include your workplace collegues and other aquatances, however if they contribute something positive you must be willing to give back. A posotive reinforcement goes a long way in developing a healthy and sucessful life.

  • #710379
    I think it is not necessary to think about what others think. But we should think twice before we talk or perform an action. We should think whether we are committing any sin by doing this or are we harming anybody by our action. If there is any doubt, try to avoid that. If there is no doubt you can go ahead.
    We can't please all the persons and we can't get appreciations from all. There are people who are having the habit of criticising without thinking about what we did or what we said. Hence we need not worry about that.
    Some people may feel jealous and try to criticise even though there is no fault of you. As such why should we worry about their remarks? But if there is a genuine issue with your actions or words always be ready to get yourself corrected. Of course, in this world, no person is perfect 100%.

    drrao
    always confident


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