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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Some weird traditions and rituals in our society

    We have some weird customs, traditions and rituals in our society which are considered as mandatory on every individual/ family to be followed and one of them is the feast of death. When someone dies in a family then it's the duty of the members of the deceased to hold a gala feast wherein people are invited to enjoy the free repast of death. I have discarded this reprehensible ritual a long time ago. I ask the people to discard this ill practice but I see them helpless to continue because they have already taken the meal in other homes too, so they are obliged to feed other people on death in their family. I see it a vicious cycle and all of us are enmeshed in it. Lately, I came to know about a widow who spent all her saved money and jewellery on the treatment of her husband but her husband had died. She told a few people that she had no money to feed people on Teeja (feast of death on the third day). Her statement was transmitted to other people of the village and then Head of the village called her and asked her to sell her home or field to hold Teeja and she had no option, so she sold her home and arranged the feast for people. Now she is staying in her own home on rent.
    You may call it an exceptional case but my point is what is the logic to arrange a feast for people on death. If we think that spending money will benefit the deceased then we can spend this amount on pauper instead of feeding well-off people or we can imbibe onus of education of a poor student.

    What is your opinion about this issue?
  • #711512
    The author has given a big awareness message through his thread. The customs and superstitions are the results of social ignorance. It is up to the conscious and conscious society whether they are able to differentiate between practice and illusion.
    Actually, when and how the practice of the death feast started, it is not clear. It is believed that the death banquet started in the medieval period along with the Vedic rituals. Now people are considering the death feast ban completely as a superstition, but still, people do not stop doing it. One of the main reasons for this is that they have to maintain their own reputation in society, if they should not perform these rituals people consider them a bad person who runs away from the responsibility. I agree with the author that the best way is to use that money by doing something good in the life of a poor person, it would probably be more appropriate.

    Swati Sharma

    Keep your Face to the SunShine

  • #711535
    In all such formalities whether good solemnization or bad solemnization, the major background is to feed others. In those days such feasts are not offered to only for relatives but for all area people and that too arranged in a co-operative manner. Nowadays it is okey that we people go to the place of solemnization in the morning, spent an hour or more and return immediately. On the way of returning we finish our lunch or dinner in hotels. But in those days people visit the place from varied distances and to feed them only such practices have been introduced. In those days the lunch or dinner actually supplied not by the people of suffered but the nearby people for the visitors as well for the people at the house of suffering. Everything have been practiced only on the humanitarian ground and not as anything. Some years back an old person died in the neighbor house and suddenly my wife prepared coffee for 20 people and we sent to that house for offering the outside as well the house people as they have to tolerate till the rites over. Nowadays, the situation in more clear as many of the people suffered from diabetic and due to sorrow they would get health setback and such help become necessary.
    As for as good celebrations concerned all relatives are called to participate and they enjoy feeding them. More over on that occasion at least they met each other and in somebodies case the regular or frequent meeting would be very rare. According to me everything our elder paved are only good and not waste as we can realise the importance in one matter for the protection of corona. In olden there was a practice of speaking with elders by putting their palm over the mouth and the same is practiced now as with mask.

  • #711537
    The death of a person in a family shakes them much and if he happens to be the bread earner and only one to look after many, then the shock would be too much and they are unable to come out of the sad situation. The rituals after death is performed even in our religion and caste for 13 day continuously after death , monthly thithi and then when the year ends, it winds up with four day ceremony. On all these days the priests and the family members would be having the feast in the name of diseased. Roughly if person dies, the expenditure turn out to be 4 to 5 lakhs the whole year and one must be ready to shell out. Even the poorest poor would not miss such rituals because it is believed that those who fail to do such rituals would have effect on their children and grand children and thus parents would beg , borrow and do those rituals.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #711590
    Some customs are made in our society like that. Nothing wrong if we are not feeding the whole village on the eve of the death of a member in the family. If we are not having money for that event, we can feed a few poor people for a day with food. That too if we have some money. Otherwise, we can salute the person and we can go for a day on fasting. These problems more in villages and there people are more worried about other's deeds and conduct. The village heads also take the weakness of the people as an advantage and make their own ruling so that they will get benefitted. The same village head may purchase the house for a small amount seeing the weakness of the other person.
    always confident

  • #711625
    There are many such customs on the society which people are following as a tradition. Some of them are based on some belief and faith while some are being followed just like that without any reason. The problem is that if we want to reform them some people become stubborn and would not allow us to do so in the name of established rituals and an ego of observing them. I remember long back in our village no one purchased any iron item on Saturdays telling that it is the day of Lord Shani and buying iron on that day is not auspicious. Now slowly that is relaxed to much extent and many people buy iron on Saturdays. So, these traditions would slowly go away if people try to analyse them logically and rationally.
    Knowledge is power.

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