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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    This is the "space" that women are talking about

    Here are two specific real-world examples. Am not giving any names. Both cases are known to me. Hundreds of young educated women are increasingly talking about "their space" in their lives. Before marriage, the girl is expected to conform to certain norms like being spiritual, dressing up in the most traditional way during weddings, and also simply obey their mothers-in-law on most occasions.

    Today, this is exactly what is being questioned. If am an atheist, so be it. You have a right to be what you are, but "my space" is different. My space is all about real friendhips, fashion, eating out, Facebook, Instagram, Swiggy and what have you. It is sad that you did not grow up with these. But am different, my days are different. I just want to express myself. You better give me this libterty, this space. This is exactly what most women declare, literally, as their statements of intent.

    From conservative Tamil Brahmin families, these women get married to men in New Delhi or Mumbai and just transition to that life, so smoothly. If the mother-in-law is encouraging and also educated, no issues. She would herself wear sleeveless blouses with sarees, and nine of ten husbands would play ball too. This is exactly what happened to a distant cousin sister's daughter.

    In the second case, quite unfortunately the boy is a toss between the old and the new. He wants his wife to "adjust" to the terribly old types of spirituality and all that. Life at Coimbatore is never ever what this Tamil girl from Indore imagined. Daily fights with the husband are so common, just seven months into marriage. Just recently, the boy ( works in a major IT company) has got a job with another company and has deliberately chosen Mumbai. The parents have opted to stay back in Coimbatore. Who is right and who is wrong?

    What is wrong with the "space" that women talk about? I for one, fully support them and respect them for what they are. Full stop.

    But let us have a discussion on the wider issues.
  • #712256
    When women are educated and doing some small time business they get into the league of performers and they are backed by the Industries association and chamber of commerce. In that case the women would be one step ahead and wants to assert their own right and thus need the spaced. Increasingly they are not going to adjust with male counterparts and they will not allow other women to overtake them. This would be the cause of the space what the author has been talking about and unfortunately the women are getting their space with or without cooperation from the concerned.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #712258
    People should change as time changes. I can't ask my wife to behave like my grandmother or I can't ask my grandmother to behave the way in which my wife behaves. Here we can't say one is correct and the other is wrong. These days for the young boys it is becoming a big problem to accommodate wife as well as the mother. Both of them are right and both of them are having their own faiths. The boy can't go against the mother or the wife. So they are experiencing hell on the earth. If one of the two ladies are accommodative, the problems will get sorted out. But that will not happen. This situation is only making the young males shift to another place so that he need not live daily with both mother and wife. He can't leave wife alone and there may be somebody else like father, brother or sister who can take of his mother. So he is going away from the place with his wife. This is the solution he finds best.
    always confident

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