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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Is it possible to find new good friends without forgetting old ones in today's life?

    Actually I am introverted by nature. I don't have any friends from school but I have only one best friend from college (during Btech) who is always my well-wisher and tried to improve me. I didn't mind if he find faults in me. He accompanied me when I was alone. He also has a good contact with my mother. No 3 years have passed since we both passed out from college. He is busy in job. Still I am struggling to find good job. He sometimes keep in touch with me and I also keep touch with him. He feels very bad for me as I am unemployed now. I got resigned from 2 jobs and he felt bad for me. He also felt bad for me when I was there in one company in near Mumbai, Maharashtra for 7 months without salary. He assured me that he will be happy and better if I do something and get a job. He always wants me to improve myself. Is it true that such a kind of good guy is rare in today's real life. Usually in college life and just after passing, I felt very inferior and jealous when he is employed and I am unemployed. Now, I have changed my mind and and I realised that everyone is not same. So I stopped comparing with him. I am trying to focus on myself as he is interested to find success in me. I have also stopped bothering any expection from him but still I want to love him as a brother from the core of my heart and contact him as long as he is alive or I am alive because he always wants me successful and interested in my improvement in all aspects of my life. Even after that I believe that I need few people in life to have something to share as because one doesn't have encyclopedia of all knowledge. Is it possible to find new friends in future other than co-workers after 27 age (my present age) even outside of my state West Bengal such as in Maharashtra if I go there for a job and try to form a friend circle having few good friends including my present best friend who is from college? My present best friend from college is from Bihar but he knows Bengali well. Also I want to value the relationship with my present friend while keeping few good friends in future in my friend circle in spite of all hectic schedules of stressful jobs. Is this possible in today's life?
  • #712472
    In any age, we can make good friends. There is no necessity of leaving old friends to get new friends. We should not leave friends easily. Before we go for friendship with somebody we should think and decide. Once we become friends we should not leave them. If necessary we have to take hardships for helping the friend. Then only we can say our friendship is true friendship.
    We will have friends in different stages of life. We will have friends in High school. we will have friends in college and later in our life, we make friends with different people. When we are near to them we may be meeting them regularly or talking to them regularly. But we need not forget the friends who are away. We may not be able to meet them regularly. But we can talk to them once in a while and whenever you get a chance you can meet them. I did my intermediate almost 40 years back. But today also I am in touch with my intermediate friends.

    always confident

  • #712484
    It is always possible to find new friends but I am unable to understand why you wish to forget your old friends as mentioned in the title. I do not know how to define introvert though the dictionary has a good description of the word. You have changed your mind and not comparing you with any other person which is quite encouraging but it seems you are worried too. You have to analyze yourself and find out what are the areas you should focus on. Do not lose hope. If you are unable to reach the target at the first attempt, keep on trying unless you reach the target. You have to carefully analyze the reason for your failures without worrying too much about how others are faring in their lives. Your worries will compound if you keep on worrying but if you analyze and take action accordingly, it will help you to progress. Friends are always required in lives and finding a friend will not be a big issue if you are interested in making friends offline, I mean in real life and not on the social media platforms.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #712488
    If we know how to compartmentalise things and priorities, then we can maintain many friends without creating issues. However it is more easy and resonating to have longstanding friends from childhood, school or college times. With them we will be feeling more comfortable to confide and exchange.
    When there is age gap o generation gap, the friendship becomes purpose or parameter oriented and has to be compartmentalised and categorised. However we can have more 'familiar's and contacts than real friends when the age gap is more.

  • #712489
    In the present case you have got a good friend in your B Tech classmate. It is good that you cahnged your attitude. You can sincerely put efforts to improve and train yourslf to more positivity. Try to get a job and try to stick to it . That will give you more confidence positivity. You can sincerely discuss with your friend and seek his possible help in this regard.
    Remember the following :
    "Pray to God,Oh Sailor, but row towards the shore"

  • #712983
    Yes, you can find new good friends without forgetting old ones in life. Parents know this. When they have the 2nd or 3rd or 4th child, they love all their children, even as the number increases one by one. The time to spend gets less but the love is always there (usually).

    Perhaps instead of finding friends to be there for you, you try to be the friend to someone in need. That will work better in the long run, and you will find less disappointment from 'friends' who are not really there and ditch you in your time of difficulty.

  • #712988
    Interesting question posed by the author and this need to be discussed. My personal opinion says that we need not pile up good friendship in our list when we are happy and satisfied with the old and good friends already in our reach and behaving. New friends do come on the way of our life, but understanding us fully and behaving as the past friends cannot be guaranteed as the new generation are not having the patience, they have self centered attitude, and have the urge for cut throat competition within which may force them to act even against our interest. So my advise is to continue with old friends who have proven to be asset for us because they are with us during the good and bad times of our life and they are sure to continue in future too. Those who says hello and how are you inquiries, does not form a good friend at all in my views.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

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