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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How many of you buy sweets when going to visit relatives?

    When we were children, a friend of my grand father bring biscuits, soosberry biscuits in big packets whenever he came to our house. Another uncle came to our house with big packet full of nuts.
    It is our custom we should not visit others with empty hand. But nowadays it is become very rare as many of us under diabetic, people hesitate to buy sweets while going to see others. One day my wife and myself bought a kilo of sweets while going to see a close relative. But to our shock the lady of that house gave the total packet to the servant maid in the evening before our eyes by telling that they are not interested in sweets.
  • #712558
    Whenever I visit my relatives, I will carry some item for them. May not be sweets always. Sometimes I go with some fruits, Sometimes I carry some hot variety. Sometimes my wife carries some flowers. Based on the people whom we are visiting and their habits, we decide what we should carry.
    These days because of Carona we are not going anywhere. Recently we visited my brother in Hyderabad only and my sister in Hyderabad only. We are not taking ready to eat foods prepared outside. My wife is making some items in the house only. When we visited them we carried some fruits and flowers. Not sweets or hots.
    I don't how long it will take for us to eat outside made food to eat. I am thinking that it will be in 2021 0nly but not in 2020.
    Some people behave rudely. It is very bad that your relative gave the sweets to their servant maid. Such people will not have a common sense I think. From your side, you dis what you have to do. Such people should be ignored. I think

    drrao
    always confident

  • #712563
    Carrying something for the hosts by the guest is a good gesture. In Tamilnadu, especially in my district, it is a culture and custom being followed. It is not good to visit a house empty handed. We should think about the personnel residing in that house and carry eatables accordingly. If there are diabetics in that house, avoid getting sweets. Instead, carry fruits. If there are children, carry toffees for them. It is another way of compensating the hosts expenditure through your purchases.

    During my childhood, the visitors to my home carry a small basket (Mittai petti)made of palm leaves. The items kept in that basket used to have a special aroma. It used to contain Mixture, Laddu, Poondi and Jangery. This is famous only in Tirunelvely where palm trees are grown. Such a thing is missing now.

    No life without Sun

  • #712567
    It was a tradition to take sweets when we visit our relatives and friends. It was there for quite some time. Lately the pattern is changing and many people have stopped taking sweets and in its place they prefer fruits or nuts or some item of gift or may be a box of fancy chocolates for children or even some book. Last year, one of my relatives who visited us brought a set of books that we read during our student life and he was aware of that and wanted us to rekindle those memories. It was a pleasant gesture and I liked the idea much and now sometimes I am gifting books only.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #712571
    It has been old tradition in our society to offer sweets while visiting or our close relatives or some friends. The kids living in the family where we visit are more interested regarding the variety of sweets often carried by us. There has not been change of such a culture so far. Probably offering sweets was closely related to strengthening the relationship and this provided a close bondage of the two families.
    This year, we have not seen any one calling on us due to corona phase and so was the case with us. Hope we would have the chance of renewal of relationship in the year ahead.

  • #712583
    When I visit any relative after a long time I carry fruits in place of sweets but it does not mean that I never buy sweets for them. If I know their family is interested in sweets, then I take sweets for them. But concerning my close relatives who reside in the same city I neither fruits not sweets, however, buy some chocolate/ biscuits for their children.

    Giving gifts to each other strengthen the bond of relationship between individuals and families. But we should not compare gifts of both sides. What your relative or friend gives you , should be accepted happily. Any kind of gesture which hurts the feelings of the guest is against good manners. Sometimes, it happens when a poor relative brings something for his rich relative, he does not welcome his gifts or does not accept it happily.

  • #712593
    It is the custom in our family that whenever we visit relatives or friends we must take with us either fruits or the sweets. If the visiting house has the presence of elders, then fruits would be preferred and if the visiting house has some children then chocolates and good variety biscuits would be preferred. But what the author shared is very baffling . The so called close relative chose to hand over the one kg sweet to the house maid much to annoy of the author and his family. That is bad habit. May be the relative must be unhappy with the bonding or she might have visited after so many years without even inquiring about welfare all these days. Some people show the grudge at the right time and right way, and this behavior is on that line. Never visit such relatives who does not care our presence nor interested in our talks.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease


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