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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    What can be done with stubborn men?

    Men are men. This is a famous phrase that gets discussed in so many social forums. Though women have broken the glass ceiling and are now fast processing in many places and in almost every career, we do come cross some men who are virtually info a world of their own making and are somewhat proud of it anyway.

    For instance, there is one instance of a man who is now destined to marry a girl in the next few months. The girl had already discussed so many things. She is a professional soft skills trainer and has many interests. The girl gets restless when the guy rings up at 2030 pm and wants to chat till 1PM or a little longer. The man works from home and can afford to get up late and have his schedule but the girl cannot. She also has the punishing ten hour hard grind during the day, online.

    What can be done with such men? The girl is not someone who will give in and compromise easily. Verbal duels are now common even before marriage. What does one dowith such men?
  • #717618
    A short chat for a few minutes is permissible before marriage between the engaged. A long hour chat is not at all advisable. It is forbidden. That would lead to some misunderstanding between the would-be partners. They should refrain and desist from talking before marriage, unless they are lovers.
    No life without Sun

  • #717621
    If they have misundersting before marriage, why they don't say NO for this marriage. Why is girl tolerating this man?

  • #717624
    Marriages can be held if there is broad understanding between the two intending partners. Both should know their advantages and weakness and if that is not properly understood then it would be hell of time after the marriage. Normally girls would be excited to talk to the going to be life partner and want to know about him before getting married but that should not be taken as weakness from the boy side and he should not disturb her during the office hours. In this case the man seems to have plenty of time to discuss and chat but never realized the fact that it is the problematic hour for her to dispense time and discuss. Every move in life has the definite time and place and if that secrecy is understood by both the couples who are going to get married the life would be of give and take policy otherwise there would be miss and go attitude.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #717631
    If the girl is allowing him to chat with her till 1 AM in the night then it clearly means that girl has a soft corner for him. So there is no problem but if it is not acceptable to the girl then she should tell the boy that she cannot give more than 10-15 minutes for chat before bidding good night. Personal space and time is very impotent whether it is before marriage or after marriage. On the other hand if the boy gets up in the morning at 9 AM and girl asks him to get up at 5 AM daily for remaining period of the boy's life then will the boy agree? So love relations are not based on one side, the boy should be ready to do some sacrifices if he wants the girl to abide by him. The girl should take a bold step and make the boy understand the practical things.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #717634
    Dear Madam, the girl is really upset. It seems the parents of the boy are now being briefed so that some sanity can happen and the boy realizes his mistake. These are days when either partner has very ambitious plans about what to do and when; such mistakes are just not on.

  • #717635
    From the above discussion it appears that girl wants to continue this relationship as she likes the boy but not happy about his late night chatting sessions. So she is now taking help of the parents to resolve the dilemma. Traditionally, in our society men or say boys to that extent had been a bit demanding while women are soft and humble in their own way and do not want to offend the person who is going to be the husband in near future. So if the parents of the girl try to make the boy understand the plight of a girl who is already busy in day with the hectic work and cannot cope with the late night chats then it is alright but if the boy is adamant and wants it at any cost then I am afraid the girl will be forced to come out of her modest ways and tell the boy very clearly that in a marriage both the partners have to take care of each other as well as each other's personal space and if the boy does not agree to that then the relationship cannot sustain further and there is no point in passing the life with an adamant and stubborn fellow because he will be going on doing these things or similar things throughout the married life. Girl has to understand this today itself because after the marriage she would not be in a position to have that upper hand.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #717662
    If the girl is interested in that boy but not interested in this late-night chatting, She has to inform the same to the boy. The girl did a wise thing by informing the parents of the boy. If they can manage the issue with the boy it is well and good. The issue is to be solved by them. These days many young people are having the habit of hanging on the phones late night and get up late the early morning. This we are observing in many people.
    I have seen a case which is just opposite to the case mentioned by the author. A match is finalised between a girl and a boy. Both of them are working in the software industry. The marriage postponed due to COVID19. The boy never made a single call also to the girl. Two or three times the girl tried to contact the boy. But he just says hi and replies that he is busy. The girl got a doubt and her father enquired. It was revealed that the boy is not interested in marrying this girl and he is having some other interest. Hence the parents of the girl cancelled the match.

    drrao
    always confident


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