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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    We understand the importance of the person only in his/her absence.

    When we are hungry, we will search for the food around and whatever is available we will try to consume the same and we will never think of the taste. If food is available plenty and if we are not hungry we start talking about the taste.

    When we are thirsty and no water is available around only we will understand how important is water for us. When water is available we never care for it and we never give any value to that.

    In the same way, When somebody is taking care of us in times of difficulties, we will not understand that person's value. When somebody is available with us and advising us whenever required we never care for that person. But when we are in a real problem and not able to get any clue only, if that person is not around us only we will understand the value of that individual.

    I think members will agree with my opinion.
  • #721443
    This thread was initially shifted to pending to clear a doubt whether the same/ similar point was discussed recently. We are opening it for discussion now.
    'To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge.'-Confucius

  • #721445
    I yearn for what I do not have and do not see near me. It is a fact of human life and many problems are arising because of this dissatisfaction with what we have and desire and seek for something which is unseen and unknown lying somewhere else but tempting. Some scholars have put it like flickering of mind where stability is not there. We always feel that the present job is rubbish and let me search for something better though many times we land in the inferior ones. Life is a strange place where our judgement does not help us in taking concrete and sustaining decisions and we always fall in the trap of aspiring for many things in their absence only.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #721469
    I have a little different opinion regarding the thread although there are people in this world who understands the value of either things or people only when it's missing. I truly know the importance of people in my life. I am very clear about whom I like and dislike because my upbringing has taught me to believe in right and not harm anyone. There are persons whom I don't like because of their cunningness, misbehaviour and selfishness. Even at times, I fail to ignore people whom I dislike, but when they are not around, I feel at ease. Absence of unwanted people around me never bothers me, but I feel scared of the thought of losing my dear ones. The loved ones who are no more are always in my thoughts. Their absence is painful. I am very clear about my preferences, so I don't remain in doubt. Any disrespectful person who departs does make me sad for him/her being a part of the family or friends but does not make a difference in my personal life. Comparing such absence with the need for food or water is not applicable in my case.
    shampasaid

  • #721556
    I agree with the author. We realise the importance of anything when we need it but it's not available. He has given examples of food and a helpful person. He is right. When we are hungry we don't think about the taste but to fill our stomach. Sometimes, we happen to face an incidence that we have money in our pocket to purchase food but the situation keeps us away from taking food. In other words, we are deprived of having food. Lately, it happened with me when I was coming from somewhere, I sat in the bus instead of having food in any hotel because the bus was about to move and I was thinking that the bus will stop somewhere as normally driver stops the bus at any hotel but he did not stop it and kept on driving. When I reached home then I had food.
    Likewise, our close ones are deeply remembered when we need them especially when we ill or in any problem.

  • #721558
    Yes, it happens that whenever there is no human being, then only his absence is understood, but it is not only for humans but also for things, etc. As long as we have something we do not appreciate it so much, but when it goes away from us, then we understand the absence. When there is no one near us when it is needed, we feel its value. People do not do this on purpose, but this is what happens when someone is already with us, we only feel with them, so at that time we do not want to think how we will feel when that person is not with us.
    Swati Sharma

    Keep your Face to the SunShine

  • #721571
    It is generally seen and felt so even in our day to day lives. It is a general human characteristics that whatever is available to him, he takes it for granted. and does not give it much value. Many times such attitude extends and edges on ignoring and unminding of such 'god gifts'. But we yearn for what we do not have,unmindful of the fact that 'a bird in hand is worth two in the bush".
    It is this attitude which makes us blind to the affection,care ,consideration, patronage and well wishing and help by our parents, siblings,spouse, children and many other relationships like friends, classmates and many others. We grow nourished by them and enjoying their support and shadow. It is only when they become absent that we suddenly realise a void and vacuum. Probably it is from this that the saying ' Familiarity breeds contempt'.

    We never know the full importance of many people when they are alive and around. It is mostly from the obit tributes that we come to know that the deceased person was so great, scholar and serving society in some unique way.

    I quote below a part of my response to a Forum thread in 2017:

    "Even about inanimate objects we feel like that. Only when we see an empty space due to a tree cut or a stone removed that we get to notice that there was such a tree or such a stone there. In our daily life, even in our own family, we are experiencing same. We feel the absence of our spouse or children and feel the void even if they go away just for a few days. The irony being, all along these years, we never spent much time with them and we even ignored their attempts to get attention and appreciation." unquote

    At least now let us feel the importance of whom we have with us, what we have with us etc and appreciate , accept respect, regard and regard them and treasure them as invaluable gifts of God to us. Let us not have occasions to regret and repent later.

  • #721579
    Truly said by the author that the importance of a person is known during his absence and if the absence is long and that is carried on for days together then the feel would be more different and difficult. When our relatives stay with us for few days and when the parting comes after lots of enjoyments and discussions the children feel the parting much and even the elders gets the tears. And after they have gone their memories would be lingering now and then and that brings more bonding of past actions and reactions. One thing is sure we have to keep the relations going and any absence should not be for longer days. One of my relatives one year happened to sty with us for 15 days as their parents went out of station and though the child was cooperative and did not ask for the parents we felt more connected and her parting was felt when she has to leave with the parents.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #721669
    Its not only that grief of loss, but also the goodness that was felt, will be missed in the absence of that important one, whom we lost. The main reason to that in many of our lives would be because of understanding issues. Any relationship is like a two sided coin, carrying both good and bad things. Acceptance is the key to emotional balance. Well this changes depending on each other's perspective, either we rebuilt the relationship or just let them live their way. But the void created by them can never be filed by anybody else. Amidst our mechanical lifestyle, we rarely tilt ears to other's emotions, whereby many things are finally left unsaid by them. This happens with almost all the relationships, may be it friends or even long distant living parents. By the way, life lessons are learnt here.

    It is always better to put them as a priority in our mind in any situation and think in their point of view, if we value a relationship. Give a pause before you could get angry and let out words. Give shoulders when needed. Try to mend relationships, but not at the cost of your self respect. Showing some love and respect for other's emotions would make us a better person with a happy and healthy circle of people.

  • #721748
    When a thing is easily available to us we do not consider its importance or value it but once it is not available to us then it becomes very important and we desire for that desperately. Same thing happens when a person is absent and then we know how useful was he for us as we required his help in so many things and now yearning for him when he is away. It means we should have at least this much sense that who is useful to us and who is not.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.


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