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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why are relationships within family becoming highly commercial these days?

    A brother lives in the USA. When he comes to India after a full 24 months, his children aged 10 and 7 do not even wish their cousins or talk frankly with their grandparents on either side. This happened in the year 1998 and the parents of the children, in spite of their best efforts, failed to make their children establish any meaningful relationship based on love and affection with their relations. Since I knew the family so intimately, I was a witness to what happened.

    Cut to 2021. Forget those settled abroad. Relationships are now based on Facebook and what's up, for the majority of Indians. People now talking of sending invites to any family function through what's up, even to their own brothers and sisters on either side, even when they live in towns or cities just one hundred kilometers away. No wonder, the bonding between children is as cold as ever. In the case of a single child, it is even worse.

    Why does this happen with alarming regularity? Why is everything based on commercial relationships or calculations? Yes. There are still families of brothers and sisters who get together so often and celebrate family functions, religious activities, and so on. However, one is afraid that times are changing. We might soon face a situation where cousins may not meet each other for decades and even when they do, fail to jell.

    Members may share their views on whatever it takes to rectify the situation.
  • #721699
    Time has changed. There is no much love, affection and care between the family members and the relatives. It would vanish further and relatives will become meaningless. Taking my case. My wife is the only sister to her five brothers. One of her brothers have a lone daughter studying in an Engineering college in a place where we are now residing. She is here for the last five years. She never visited us. Neither her parents nor she contacted us. We have not stained our relationship. One day, when I visited her home when she was on leave, I asked her whether she knows that she has an aunt. She smiled and said,"I think I have one aunt." I asked her,"What is your aunt's name?" She shirked her shoulders and said, "NO". I scolded my BIL for nurturing his daughter in this manner. I feel, it is the duty of the parents to educate their wards about family, and their relatives.
    No life without Sun

  • #721700
    Earlier, when people lived in hardship in joint families then there was a concern for each other and the person who was earning bread for the family was given special respect and all the members obeyed him. So, there was a discipline and fear. Love marriage was unheard in those times. So family bondage was there whatever the logical reason for that we may cite. Today the situation is changing as many families have come out of the poverty and do not depend on the paternal property or help from brothers. People are earning and even both wife and husband are earning members. Everyone is seeking his personal space and are not having time for others. So, there is a paradigm shift in many things and completely a new scenario is emerging where we are also going to flow in the same stream as society in some developed countries had flown quite some time back. These are the changes being seen in the modern life and can be attributed to some extent to more and more freedom to people in families and society.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #721705
    In modern time due to availability of media help all are trying to avail the benefits to the extent of their affordability. I have seen that the Family Maid Servant are maintain 3 numbers of Mobile phone for her family members. The average Recharging cost per month is about Rs.600/- and they are expending this in every month gladly for one thing. There are several entertaining media or services which are available now a day and using by a majority of people. They became habitual with that things and expensed also for all of these in their day to day life. But if you see earlier period , these were not available and they maintained their life with the then available entertaining factors. So it is also dynamic in nature and the affect of these may influence on our existing culture to some extent. Hence we should follow/maintain our culture to that extent which is must along with the ongoing culture.
    Believe in the existence of God the super power.

  • #721715
    Invariably those children who are living abroad are not cared about Indian relatives or their children and they feel liking lost in India and does not connect to every one. They do not understand our accent nor our language and we cannot understand their fast English. The children does not know how to behave. No table manners , no ethics and not sober behavior. They give vague response to questions asked and that the elders feel more disconnected. One thing is sure the parents must inculcate the habit of connectivity daily through video calling and taking advice of grand parents so that they behave.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #721725
    The author he raised a genuine problem which is spreding on every level of social structure. What or who should be blamed for it? I think materialistic point of view has overpowerd the mindset of people. Another thing is education sans moral teachings. Moreover, western culture has affected us immensely. My youngest maternal uncle who was a professor in a degree college. His two daughters and a son were born and brought up in such ambience that they hardly recognize their relatives.
    This is norm of the day. We should not be surprised. Time is changing. Everybody seems to be confined within his own small world.

  • #721737
    True. All the relations are based on materialistic interests only. If a person is financially weak, nobody from his family, especially the people who are well off, will talk even. If they talk, they think the other may expect some help from them. They give more importance to money more than relations. There are people who behave as if they don't their relatives also. But they will understand the value of these relations only when a necessity comes.
    We should not bring in money between always. One should remember that we may require human help sometime or other and nobody will help us if we don't maintain good relations with other people.

    always confident

  • #721739
    Times have changed and people are getting adapted to the new normal way of living life. There's no going back for people who have made up their minds to get transformed and be a part of the competitive world. There is a certain section of society who stick to the old way of living and are satisfied with it. The former section of people often ridicules the latter section of people. They find them boring and outdated. Nevertheless, we all know that old is gold. There's no comparison between elder and younger people because with time comes experience. Experience is something that cannot be sold or bargained with money or any other commodity. The same thing applies to emotions, feelings, relationships, and a term that sums all is family. Family is something that is grown by nurturing and caring not by bribing.
    If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

  • #722225
    Very good thread raised by the author. We should not forget that we are living in a materialistic world where the money is all in all. If you have money then your distant relative would be close or else, your blood relation would leave you. Now, people are recognised by money only. There are many close relatives in my family that they don't even recognise their family member properly due to lack of proper interaction. Our society has completely changed. People have become emotionless. So, the relationship is also getting weak. Electronic gadget is our life and almost people have habituated of this lifestyle.

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