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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Not all the happy looking couples are really happy!

    Have you ever been in awe of the bonding and happiness a couple enjoys? Have you ever wondered how there can be a couple who have been made for each other? Have you ever been in doubt whether mutual love and trust could be a management for external acceptance? Let us discuss this interesting but serious topic in this thread.

    I have seen many couples who look very happy and share a great bond. Their love, understanding towards each other and mutual support are commendable. I've always wondered, "They look so happy with each other, are they always like this without any fights?" I have seen few of my friends also who look very happy with their spouse.

    Recently, I was on a conference call with two of such friends and we were generally discussing our responsibilities and our chores to do. During our conversation, one of our friends opened up about how miserable she felt in her relationship at times, how she is blamed by her husband for any silly mistake that happens and how dominating her husband is. She also told that at times she feels like getting out of her marriage for the way her husband speaks and puts her down always pointing out at her mistake and claiming that anything he does is always right. Though he later consoles her and apologises, this is the everyday story for her. The other friend in our call also informed us that she also fought frequently and was always scared to do anything of her own owing to the blame being placed on her.

    I was really shocked to hear this and confessed to thinking that they had a great partner and was lucky to have such a happy bonding with their husbands. For this, they said that happiness and bonding are only external but internally nobody can be totally happy.

    I realized that not all happy looking couple are really happy. In fact, 95% of the married couple are adjusting and leading their lives for the sake of their parents or kids. What do you feel about this?
  • #727271
    For that matter no one is happy in this world and each have many wants and they reach out to some wants and many remians unfulfilled. Like wise the expectations of both sex is differernt and invariably one demand or the other kept pending and thus they keep on fuming against one another and the life goes by. The expectation of father from the child is mother. The expectation of girl friend from the future would be more. The expectation of teacher from the student would be more and the expectations of parents from the children would be more.So the world thus look happy but in reality none is happy.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #727274
    Generally, couples will not show their differences to others. We also should not involve in their problems unless otherwise asked for. When we are staying together all the time there may be some problems. Those should be sorted out amicably. We should see that they will not get escalated.
    It is good not to discuss our worries with other people unless otherwise, it is a very serious issue. When some guests come to us it is better to be cheerful with them and it is wise not to vent out all our problems with them. Many people follow this. That is why when we talk to many we will not know their problems.

    always confident

  • #727284
    What is the secret of a happy married life two friends were discussing this topic and were giving valuable arguments and highly important suggestions? One of them said that he and his wife are not a happy couple. They quarrel with each other daily and generally, a quarrel starts when he purchases some items from the market and his wife finds faults in his purchased items but the second friend said that he and his wife are the happiest couples. They never quarrel with each other. His friend surprisingly asked him what the reason was. He said, "We have divided our responsibilities. Small matters are decided by my wife and big issues are decided by me. My wife has to do: What I will have to cook for breakfast and dinner. What special food she will order for her lunch. How servants will be managed. Where and how our children will study. How much money I can give to my parents in a year. How many times I can see my parents who live in a separate home. All such small issues are decided by the wife.
    My responsibilities are to discuss big issues like - What should be India's foreign policy, how India should combat china. How US and Russian relations can be improved etc all such big issues I have to see."
    It is not merely a joke but similar instances can be seen in our society, even in my close relations too.

    Be indian and buy Indian.

  • #727294
    I think marriages should be based on mutual understanding between two souls. It must not be a forced one by parents. The gateway to happiness between a couple depends on mutual understanding and trust as well. If a couple is lacking such qualities, it will be difficult to lead a peaceful life. Husband will blame wife and wife will blame her husband for small things which disrupts the peace of a family if there is trust deficient.
    Differences do emerge between wife and husband but what is important this patience and a proper understanding of the situation between the two. If one is completely lost in anger another should stay calm to douse the flames and bring the situation under control. The moment argument starts from both sides chances are the situation could get worse.
    One more important point is that if a woman faces too much violence from her husband, is being blamed for every small thing and beaten now and then, it is better to get out of this marriage than bearing the violence! Differences do happen between the couple but it is too much to bear, then get out of it!

  • #727310
    All that glitters is not gold. What we see from outside is not what lies beneath. There are allegations in the celebrity circles that in some of the outwardly happy appearing couple one of them was murdered by other just to get rid of him. It is unbelievable but sometimes true as we do not see such of their differences in public. Human nature is very peculiar. The accumulation of irritation and hate leads to bad behaviour and sometimes it goes beyond the limit and separation takes place. Another reason for such turmoil under the carpet is that the faith and confidence is lost between the couple and they have continuous quarrels inside their four walls leading to offending activities. The result sometimes is disastrous. So we should not take the face value of those smiles that we see on the faces of so many couples, celebrity or ordinary, in the society.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #727396
    The good thread has been posted by the author. Whatever the relationship is, the relationship doesn't need to be exactly what it seems from the front. Every person in the world presents themselves with a good personality and in such an attempt to keep the problems of their relationship to themselves, people show themselves as the perfect relationship. As far as the relationship between husband and wife is concerned, there is demand in this relationship, this demand is not to fulfill any special but mutual understanding. Just as a wife wants her husband to understand her suffering and feelings, a husband also expects the wife to support him in his responsibilities. The relationship in which this mutual understanding works properly means the differences are less. In my view, sharing responsibilities among ourselves and respect for each other is the foundation of this relationship
    Swati Sharma

    Keep your Face to the SunShine

  • #727404
    It is natural to have differences and conflicts between the couple but if it is contained and does not escalate further then there is no problem. Only difficulty is when one of them goes out of the limit and other person is hurt. We have to avoid that situation as that will lead to bad situation and in extreme cases even to separation which is a painful process. Both should use patience and be cordial to each other. It is true that apparently they may look happy but inside the house they might be quarrelling for long hours. It is a pity of it is so. They should try to patch up as early as possible after any conflict.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

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