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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Elder child responsible for younger child behavior

    If the age difference between the first child and the second child is more, surely the behavioral pattern of the elder one do have greater impact of daily behavior on the younger child. The elder one thinks that she would be ignored and the young one would be cared and pampered much by the parents and thus her vengeance attitude towards the young child can be seen either directly or indirectly. Though for parents all the children are one and same, the elder one feels that he is being left over and would not be cared and thus behave strangely.
  • #728310
    I think all children are equal to parents in showering affection upon them. However, sometimes, it happens that the eldest child whether it is a boy or girl is beloved by all family members but it doesn't mean that children are not loved. But if parents don't show equal treatment towards children it affects the mindset of children. The author has highlighted this aspect of a family in this thread. Perhaps he might have seen this kind of treatment of some parents about their children.
    I think a parent should not differentiate between children. Ill-treatment of any child will affect him badly.

  • #728317
    Only elder children know the responsibility thrust upon them. There are any number of elder or eldest children who have sacrificed their childhood and youthhood for the sake of their younger siblings. And there are many who had to suffer the thankless attitude and even animosity of the younger ones.
    Blessed and privileged are those elder siblings who shouldered responsibility and sacrifice for the sake of the younger siblings as well as for the whole family and who are looked upon with regard and affection and taken care of by the younger siblings.

    It is for this reason that they say the marriage between the eldest form each family will not be too happy. As they have shouldered responsibility at their childhood times, they expect some pampering from their spouses, which many times may not happen to come due to sheer realities of life and they again slog on as responsible adults.

    But marriage between the eldest of one family and youngest of the other family is said to work well. As they get what they expect and imagine opposite roles of their childhood roles as pampering and pampered.

  • #728325
    Elder child is having a special place in the family as per the Indian culture. In adverse situation he is supposed to take the responsibilities and hardships to take the family ahead in all respect. So, the mindset of an elder child will be totally different from other siblings. Many times in a family when the second child is born, the elder might feel offended as the love and care is shifted to the new baby but actually it is what apparently seen by the elder as the fact is that for parents there is no distinction. They love all the children equally. Later, this will become clear to the elder also when he will also start loving the younger brother. The younger ones generally learn many things from the elders only.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #728327
    Elder child becomes more responsive and accountable since they are brought up by their parents with the emphasis of taking care of his younger brothers and sisters. Whenever they go out for a couple of days, the elder child takes his responsibility to look after them effectively. There is no shift from this responsibility. This trend makes them much matured and responsible and it will persist throughout his life. He does not forget the deep bonded relationship and his sisters and brothers younger to him may or may not exhibit that level of closeness what he possesses. This we may mark almost in all Indian Families.

  • #728329
    I Can't fully agree with what the author is pointing out. When a brother or sister is born, the elder ones are gifting with a new experience. We have noticed that elder ones try to take full responsibility for the younger ones from birth. Also, some parental advice "you should look after your brother/sister." Later, when the younger is old enough to walk, he starts walking by holding the elder's finger. Since then, the relationship becomes inseparable, and the younger ones like to follow the walking and other working styles of the elder. And they are copying it. Observers will find that most of the brothers' thinking is similar. So, it is true that elder children also play a role in shaping the expressions and behavior of the younger child. But the author's statement that the elders are 'responsible' is not entirely acceptable.
    "Cheruthulli Peruvellam"
    small drops make a mighty ocean

  • #728331
    It is natural for children to have a feeling of insecurity about the love of their parents. Here a special relationship cannot be linked, whether it is a brother or sister or someone else's child, in both cases a child starts feeling insecure. Many times when a mother holds or love someone else's child, then that mother's little baby starts crying loudly, this is normal. As far as the feeling of insecurity is concerned in the children, some siblings are exceptions. When one of my nieces was about 9 years old, my brother had another child, but my niece's love and concern are like a mother to that little girl, and the elder daughter takes care of every little need of the younger daughter. But some children start feeling neglected by the arrival of a younger brother or sister, in such a situation it is the responsibility of the family to make both of them realize their importance, as all kids have the same value for parents and family.

  • #728349
    Children learn from the elders in the house. If the age difference between the elder one and the next one is more, the younger may try behaving like his elder brother. He learns things from his brother.
    In middle-class families, elder children have to be more responsible and see that their siblings will come up in life. Otherwise, it will be a difficult situation for the parents. I have seen in some families, where the elder brother struggled to bring their siblings up in their lives but never received any support or appreciation from his siblings.
    My father is the eldest son of the family and in his 18th year, his father passed away. He discontinued his studies and settled for a small job so that he can take care of his two younger brothers and mother. But his brothers even after settling well in their lives never helped him. He managed alone all the way till his children start supporting him.

    drrao
    always confident


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